MagicalCat590
Hippie Witch
Okay, so yesterday my husband and I decided to foster a black cat named Mina on a whim. Well, not exactly a whim cause we've been talking about adopting another cat for months, and we'd already decided on the sex and color and everything, but we were completely unprepared. We only went to the SCPA to look, so we could back home and mull things over. Then we fell in love Mina. She's so cute and super friendly. She was exactly the kind of cat we were looking for because our other girl, Kenna, is a special needs cat with an anxiety disorder. So we can't have a cat that's too playful or aggressive or anything, and we didn't want another boy cause it's harder to acclimate two toms because of how territorial they are. So decided to foster Mina to see how things go. The problem: We had never introduced our cats to another animal before, except for our betta fish, Lector.
So my husband just like, "We'll leave her in the box, and let James (the tomcat) sniff her out. Then we'll let her out."
VERY BAD IDEA.
Now, we have all the cats separated, but James still managed to find his way into the room where Mina is twice today and both times it resulted in him hissing and spitting. Mina is terrified of him. And she's gotten so used to me that I can't leave the room without her trying to get out. And, now, James is stressed out again and we have to start acclimating all over again.
But the worst part is that we've been thinking of getting rid of James for months. Despite all his cuteness and cuddliness, he hasn't been a very good cat. He destroys furniture, makes people trip and fall just when they're walking around the house, he constantly knocks things over, and he has bullied his sister, Kenna, to the point where she is afraid to go near any of the cat toys or even in our study for long amounts of time. He's four years old and he's neutered, but he's still just that territorial. My husband says it because he and Kenna are litter mates, and he's being mean cause he sense he's related to her. But I'm starting to wonder if it's because he's just a one-animal kind of cat. Like, he always wants to be the center of everyone's attention. We tried playing with him more, so he'd be less stressed out and have less pent up energy, but it doesn't work. He goes after Kenna anytime she goes near something he has deemed as his territory. And we really, really don't want to send Mina back to the shelter because we really love her and if we send her back, there's a really good chance she'll never get adopted because so many people believe in the stigma against black cats. So she'd just be rotting in a cage forever.
But you are NEVER supposed to rehome animals, no matter what because it damages them psychologically. Cats and dogs who have been rehomed have known to be anxious and to act out more because they can't figure out what they did wrong to be rehomed in the first place. The more they get rehomed, statiscally, the worse their behavior will become until they end up right back in a shelter. And I don't want to rehome him to begin with. I just want him to get along with the new cat, so he can have someone to play with rather than to bully, someone who can stand up to him, and someone who will, hopefully, look for Kenna. But I mean, what if he doesn't -- then what am I supposed to do? Send Mina back to the shelter to be killed or send James off, so we can keep Mina?
Both of those options suck and are equally horrible, I know. I realize that, but I also can't letting him treat Kenna the way he has been. What should I do?
What would you guys do if you were me?
TiA.
So my husband just like, "We'll leave her in the box, and let James (the tomcat) sniff her out. Then we'll let her out."
VERY BAD IDEA.
Now, we have all the cats separated, but James still managed to find his way into the room where Mina is twice today and both times it resulted in him hissing and spitting. Mina is terrified of him. And she's gotten so used to me that I can't leave the room without her trying to get out. And, now, James is stressed out again and we have to start acclimating all over again.
But the worst part is that we've been thinking of getting rid of James for months. Despite all his cuteness and cuddliness, he hasn't been a very good cat. He destroys furniture, makes people trip and fall just when they're walking around the house, he constantly knocks things over, and he has bullied his sister, Kenna, to the point where she is afraid to go near any of the cat toys or even in our study for long amounts of time. He's four years old and he's neutered, but he's still just that territorial. My husband says it because he and Kenna are litter mates, and he's being mean cause he sense he's related to her. But I'm starting to wonder if it's because he's just a one-animal kind of cat. Like, he always wants to be the center of everyone's attention. We tried playing with him more, so he'd be less stressed out and have less pent up energy, but it doesn't work. He goes after Kenna anytime she goes near something he has deemed as his territory. And we really, really don't want to send Mina back to the shelter because we really love her and if we send her back, there's a really good chance she'll never get adopted because so many people believe in the stigma against black cats. So she'd just be rotting in a cage forever.
But you are NEVER supposed to rehome animals, no matter what because it damages them psychologically. Cats and dogs who have been rehomed have known to be anxious and to act out more because they can't figure out what they did wrong to be rehomed in the first place. The more they get rehomed, statiscally, the worse their behavior will become until they end up right back in a shelter. And I don't want to rehome him to begin with. I just want him to get along with the new cat, so he can have someone to play with rather than to bully, someone who can stand up to him, and someone who will, hopefully, look for Kenna. But I mean, what if he doesn't -- then what am I supposed to do? Send Mina back to the shelter to be killed or send James off, so we can keep Mina?
Both of those options suck and are equally horrible, I know. I realize that, but I also can't letting him treat Kenna the way he has been. What should I do?
What would you guys do if you were me?
TiA.
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there's thankfully a ton of free information out there that is easy to understand, so as long as you have patience James will start feeling better sooner than you'd think
