I understand the issue here, but it's weird because in reading this I kinda see myself. I feel bad because my mentor keeps inviting me to go out to lunch but I'm far too dedicated to my studies to make time for anything else. Not even things I enjoy, like playing my N64 (which I do have with me at my dorm but I haven't played it in about 2 months). That's part of the reason why I don't have a boyfriend, I don't have the dedication that it takes.
Idk if he stays up until 3am just doing stupid stuff, but often I stay up until around 1-2am working on schoolwork. Hell last night I was up until about 1:30am studying for my physics midterm (and whadaya know I still did terrible on it), because if I'm not studying I'm worrying about studying. Having OCD makes that trend even worse, because it makes me overly compulsive with my schoolwork.
I'm just thinking maybe he's having the same issue that I do (because, after all, I also have what you call "aspie"). Maybe you can try to find him and talk to him about it?