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You're now married to the person above you.

"In Washington, you must be at least 17 to get married -- 18 to without parental consent -- but minors under the age of 17 may obtain a license after petitioning the court in 'special circumstances.'"
Hm, still a hard pass.
 
we need to work on your looks first
Readies the heavy-duty facial tools
this might hurt ... a bit ... but it's me and this face grinder, or the pavement outside. your choice
 
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