A Parent Support Thread

[xSuperMario64x]

I'm not a parent and tbh I don't think I'm really capable of caring for a child because of all my health issues (I can barely take care of myself lol) but I am a parent of a dog and many cats, and I know it really isn't the same but it's such a rewarding experience to care for an animal. if all else fails me in the world I always have my furbabies and I'll love them no matter what <3

I'm in a similar situation that @/alienfish is in, my dad is very verbally/emotionally abusive because his father was that way to him and my dad never talked to anyone about it, so he's 50 and still bottling up his feelings. but luckily I have a mom who loves me and supports everything I do and decide to do with my life. I'm so lucky to have her. also you (@/Foreverfox) have talked with me a few times and I basically consider you my second mom lol, I really appreciate that I can talk to you whenever I need to ☺

 

[Foreverfox]

Update on my nephew

Summary: He's doing better now.

Long version:
Monday night was scary but luckily my sister was able to keep the baby's fever away. It turns out that the baby's pediatrician was helping with a nearby testing site that day. That's why they weren't picking up. My sister decided to interchange Tylenol and Motrin doses so that the medicine wouldn't all go to the same organ. For example, 1 dose of Tylenol and four hours later 1 dose of Motrin if the fever persisted. I don't know if this is true or dangerous, but....yeah...if anyone is thinking of trying this please consult a pediatrician first. We were in a desperate situation that night.

Tuesday: My nephew would still cry at random and he wouldn't eat a complete meal. He would only want to sip on formula or pedialyte; and eat small snacks like Kix, saltine crackers, Gerber Crunchies, and fruit puree. Other than that he would just sleep or want to cuddle with my sister.

Wednesday (Today): He's a lot more active. He's running all over the house again, smiling, and climbing all over his playset. However his big appetite still hasn't returned. Well, as long as the fever stays away I guess that everything will be fine.

Oh, that is so great to hear! Yes, it is good to alternate those for sure. I'm glad that he is starting to improve! I'll keep my fingers crossed that his full appetite returns and that he's back to his normal self soon! Do you think he will be tested at all or no?

Post automatically merged: Jan 12, 2022

I'm not a parent and tbh I don't think I'm really capable of caring for a child because of all my health issues (I can barely take care of myself lol) but I am a parent of a dog and many cats, and I know it really isn't the same but it's such a rewarding experience to care for an animal. if all else fails me in the world I always have my furbabies and I'll love them no matter what <3

I'm in a similar situation that @/alienfish is in, my dad is very verbally/emotionally abusive because his father was that way to him and my dad never talked to anyone about it, so he's 50 and still bottling up his feelings. but luckily I have a mom who loves me and supports everything I do and decide to do with my life. I'm so lucky to have her. also you (@/Foreverfox) have talked with me a few times and I basically consider you my second mom lol, I really appreciate that I can talk to you whenever I need to ☺

aww you have no idea how much that means to me! I've always said, whoever has parents who don't support them, especially in things that deserve support, I'm your mom now and I support you! I've been thinking about you alot and keep meaning to reach out (I'm really terrible at that), but yes, you know I'm always here for you!

 

[Bluelady]

Oh, that is so great to hear! Yes, it is good to alternate those for sure. I'm glad that he is starting to improve! I'll keep my fingers crossed that his full appetite returns and that he's back to his normal self soon! Do you think he will be tested at all or no?

Thank you! I hope that it returns too. Yes, my sister and her kids got tested yesterday. Because the labs are full, they probably won't get the results until tomorrow. Meanwhile my mom and I are getting tested tomorrow.

 

[Foreverfox]

This happened on the 22nd, but Nicholas finished the 1000 Books Before Kindergarten program he was in! I am soooo proud of him!

 

[-Blue-]

I remember you mentioning your child and all of the difficulties he has overcame. I believe it may have been back during the camping event or possibly before that? It's awesome that he has such a great attitude and keeps on going despite these obstacles. It's also great that he has a very supportive and loving parent!

Having grown up with learning and speech disabilities, I know to some extent those struggles and that he has prevailed is amazing. I'm not going to be silly and say something like 'You must be really proud of him' because I know you are and it's great to see those successes. Way to go for both of you!

I'm not a parent, but I just wanted to hop by and say that. I am currently a caregiver for my grandmother who has onset dementia. It's not the same, but it's as close as I have gotten to caring for someone else.

 

[Foreverfox]

I remember you mentioning your child and all of the difficulties he has overcame. I believe it may have been back during the camping event or possibly before that? It's awesome that he has such a great attitude and keeps on going despite these obstacles. It's also great that he has a very supportive and loving parent!

Having grown up with learning and speech disabilities, I know to some extent those struggles and that he has prevailed is amazing. I'm not going to be silly and say something like 'You must be really proud of him' because I know you are and it's great to see those successes. Way to go for both of you!

I'm not a parent, but I just wanted to hop by and say that. I am currently a caregiver for my grandmother who has onset dementia. It's not the same, but it's as close as I have gotten to caring for someone else.

Thank you so much, that means alot to me! He has benefitted tremendously from speech therapy. He didn't necessarily need it, but because he was born a month early, we didn't want there to be a chance that he could fall behind.

You know, to me caring for a grandparent can be very similar in so many ways. My grandparents had dementia too, so I know what it can look like. It sounds like you do a great job of caring for your grandma. ❤

 

[Croconaw]

I’m not a parent nor will I ever be a parent, but I’ve been staying with my dad (whenever I’m not traveling anyway) since I was about 8? It’s been a long while. My mom is around, but I don’t really get along with her. I think she wants a “drinking buddy” more than a daughter. Whenever I see her she always tries to get me to drink with her even though that’s not my thing. I even took a sip of some of her alcohol out of peer pressure and stating I didn’t want to for over 15 minutes. Me and her are just very different. Yes, I do drink, but only very casually. I drink hard soda (which is only like a 5% alcohol intake and it’s all I can handle). If I go higher, it’s just nasty and too strong.

One thing I’ve noticed is that at literally almost all of my jobs, I’ve befriended one older woman and saw her as a mother figure, which is something I didn’t have. Obviously I like my dad, but I think I was trying to fill the mother void. I don’t really blame her, though. I mean, she did have me very young. She was in 11th grade when she got pregnant and dropped out to take care of me, but it went south from there. My dad was older. Hope it’s okay that I post in here.

I don’t resent my mom by any means. Just seeing her is very stressful. It’s the only time I ever become that stressed. Just the people she hangs out with, all of the alcohol, and the smoking. She’s not really supportive of me either. My dad is still very lenient as he was when I was younger, and allows me to freely travel but I’m always welcome back if I ever need a place to stay.

 

[Foreverfox]

I’m not a parent nor will I ever be a parent, but I’ve been staying with my dad (whenever I’m not traveling anyway) since I was about 8? It’s been a long while. My mom is around, but I don’t really get along with her. I think she wants a “drinking buddy” more than a daughter. Whenever I see her she always tries to get me to drink with her even though that’s not my thing. I even took a sip of some of her alcohol out of peer pressure and stating I didn’t want to for over 15 minutes. Me and her are just very different. Yes, I do drink, but only very casually. I drink hard soda (which is only like a 5% alcohol intake and it’s all I can handle). If I go higher, it’s just nasty and too strong.

One thing I’ve noticed is that at literally almost all of my jobs, I’ve befriended one older woman and saw her as a mother figure, which is something I didn’t have. Obviously I like my dad, but I think I was trying to fill the mother void. I don’t really blame her, though. I mean, she did have me very young. She was in 11th grade when she got pregnant and dropped out to take care of me, but it went south from there. My dad was older. Hope it’s okay that I post in here.

I don’t resent my mom by any means. Just seeing her is very stressful. It’s the only time I ever become that stressed. Just the people she hangs out with, all of the alcohol, and the smoking. She’s not really supportive of me either. My dad is still very lenient as he was when I was younger, and allows me to freely travel but I’m always welcome back if I ever need a place to stay.

First, thank you for sharing - I know it can be hard to open up about stuff like that for various reasons. And it is absolutely okay that you post that here! I want to respond in a little more detail later when I have more time to provide the most support and understanding that I can in my answer. But for now, I want you to know that it's completely normal to look for a mother figure, whether consciously or subconsciously. That is a very critical influence in every person's life and without that, there will always be a void, whether it's realized, admitted, or not.

I'll be sure to reply with a couple more thoughts later. But also, as I've said in many threads before, if anyone has parents that aren't there, or accepting, I'm your mom now and you can come to me whenever with anything.

 

[Foreverfox]

I have to share! Nicholas made his first friend today!! I'm so happy and so proud of him and I almost cried and my heart melted. He met a little girl at the orthotics clinic today, who is also in a wheelchair and he gravitated to her instantly. It's the first time he's seen anyone else around age (she's almost 4, he's almost 3) in a wheelchair. He was saying hi to her and she got out of her wheelchair and they scooted on the floor together (because he didn't have his wheelchair) and they introduced themselves and he said hi to her and used her name and he was sooo happy and he said bye to her and it was just so cute! Her mom and I exchanged numbers, so we can take them on playdates soon!

 

[Bluelady]

I have a question. Has anyone ever dealt with a toddler purposely spitting/dribbling out their drink just for the sake of it? My 2 year old nephew has learned this bad habit recently. No one knows where he got it from. I just know that he runs away and smiles when I scold him. I found a Reddit post that's very similar to my problem, but there wasn't much of a solution. Although my nephew is learning how to say more words, he is too young to fully understand them. So this isn't a problem that I can just talk it out. For now, I take away the sippy cup whenever my nephew dribbles, but eventually I end up giving it back. After all, he needs to drink water. Then the cycle repeats itself.

 

[Foreverfox]

I have a question. Has anyone ever dealt with a toddler purposely spitting/dribbling out their drink just for the sake of it? My 2 year old nephew has learned this bad habit recently. No one knows where he got it from. I just know that he runs away and smiles when I scold him. I found a Reddit post that's very similar to my problem, but there wasn't much of a solution. Although my nephew is learning how to say more words, he is too young to fully understand them. So this isn't a problem that I can just talk it out. For now, I take away the sippy cup whenever my nephew dribbles, but eventually I end up giving it back. After all, he needs to drink water. Then the cycle repeats itself.

I haven't dealt with that, but I've heard of people dealing with that. The closest thing I've dealt with is dribbling medicine out. It sounds crazy, but maybe try some pretend play with his favorite stuffed animals or character toys and pretend those are drinking out of their cups. Good luck! I can only imagine how frustrating and defeating it feels dealing with that.

 

[Bluelady]

I haven't dealt with that, but I've heard of people dealing with that. The closest thing I've dealt with is dribbling medicine out. It sounds crazy, but maybe try some pretend play with his favorite stuffed animals or character toys and pretend those are drinking out of their cups. Good luck! I can only imagine how frustrating and defeating it feels dealing with that.

Thank you! This is frustrating. I’ll try pretend playing the next time that I babysit him and see how it goes.

 

[Foreverfox]

Nicholas can’t catch a break with medical stuff lately. Bless his heart, he is such a trooper through it all. He had surgery on his back defect on 4/3 and had strep just before that. His back surgery went well, but last night he had to go to urgent care because his scar was red, hot, and weeping from one of the sutures. I was so mad at myself because I KNEW in my gut that is was infected a couple of days ago and I’d been watching it very closely, but I thought, “maybe it’s just platelets coming to the surface to help heal the scar.” When it started weeping, I knew it was time to go in. Thankfully, nothing bad happened and he was still acting like himself. He just ended up on some antibiotics.

While we were in Philly for his surgery, we met with orthopedics to discuss his feet and the stuff they told us was COMPLETELY different than what we’ve been told at our local children’s hospital. I mean, even speaking into the future, the ”would be” outcomes of Nicholas’ mobility were night and day. I’ve been told by our local group that he will not walk or if he can, it will be tiring and he wont be able to walk without support. The hospital in Philly said he should ALREADY be walking, and wants him to have surgery on his feet soon. Last week, we had to do x-rays of his feet and today, we had a CT scan of his feet because they said he has a collapsed talis, among other issues.

It’s just frustrating, because I count on these providers to tell me what we need to do to best care for him. Needless to say, we’re now transferring his specialist care out of state. Send him all the good vibes and positive thoughts you can!

 

[Bluelady]

>snip<

Poor kid. I’ll pray for your son’s recovery!

 

[Firesquids]

Snip

Oof that's a lot for you to have to process, it's so frustrating when you get completely different answers from doctors. Thinking of you guys today, hope you can find the best provider!

 

[LadyDestani]

@Foreverfox

Poor Nicholas and poor you! That must be so frustrating to hear such different things. I wish you luck with finding the best provider for his needs and I'll be thinking of you both.

You are doing your best for him and I'm sure he knows it. Don't be hard on yourself.

 

[Foreverfox]

@Foreverfox

Poor Nicholas and poor you! That must be so frustrating to hear such different things. I wish you luck with finding the best provider for his needs and I'll be thinking of you both.

You are doing your best for him and I'm sure he knows it. Don't be hard on yourself.

Thank you so much! And thank you to everyone else who has sympathized. Luckily, we do already know who our new provider is going to be and I trust these providers entirely. They are the best of the best in the country and people come from all over the world to go to these providers. It’s just a bummer that it took us basically two years to get to this point.

 

[Roxxy]

Oh Lori, you know you are in my thoughts and prayers. You are a brilliant mum and all I can do is send you love and hugs you know I am here for you. A mothers love is like no other, you can move mountains if you have to for your baby

 

[Bluelady]

Hi, me again. I figured that it would be ok to ask this question, since I am actively helping/struggling with my sister drop off her son to daycare.

The question is how do we ease my nephew’s transition to daycare? The first few days he was fine and didn’t cry when we would drop him off. I don’t know what happened yesterday; but this morning he was bawling and dragging me out of the daycare.

Any advice would be very much appreciated.

 

[Foreverfox]

Hey! that is a great question. Our son isn’t in daycare or preschool, since I’m home with him, but that is something I have had experience with with my stepsons. We would have to have the teacher get them super interested in hearing what they were going to do that day. This might sound silly, but Daniel Tiger has a song, “Grown-ups come back” that talks about that very issue. Maybe he was tired today or felt extra attached to you yesterday? I hope this helps some!