Am I taking the right decision?

[Miii]

I've been with the person I'm with now for nearly 4 years, and we've lived together for the almost the entirety of our relationship. I'm mentioning that because, though we're not married, I'm in a long term relationship like you.

Honestly, I would encourage you to do damage control at home, not from far away. Putting physical distance between yourselves isn't going to fix your problems. You both need to think long and hard about why you're mad at each other, and why you feel like you need to distance yourself from him. You both need to do some thinking, then you both need to talk to each other about it. Communication is essential for a healthy relationship, no matter how long you've been together.

It's okay if you're both independent people; you can still have a perfectly healthy, functional relationship. If you're around each other all the time and feel like you need some space, then I'd encourage you both to take up a hobby you enjoy, and to make some time in your schedule to do it. You should also make some time to do fun things together, things you'll both enjoy because it'll help you to bond more.

If you spring a decision like moving abroad because of a new job on him without talking to him, and without considering or even asking how he feels about it, then your marriage will likely end in divorce. Marriage is all about compromise and consideration for your significant other. On top of that, I would never recommend making a decision like that on a whim. It doesn't sound to me like you've been deliberating over this for the last 6 months...

Fix your relationship, then if you still reaaally want to go abroad, and he's okay with it, then do it.

 

[Helia254]

I've always believed that if love is true then no distance can let the love fade and sometimes these physical distances could just help you, get back your lost love. Make you realize how important your partner and how much you love him/her. That's the reason I thought of taking such a decision. However, like you all said, there are chances that things could go more worse. But then, don't you think, if things turn worse, then that's for good. I mean whats the point of trying to mend something that's totally destroyed. Why try and keep the relationship if there's no love at all. In short, this distance could be a test for both of us, to actually see whether our love is true. But, what I fear is, what if it turns out to be true just for one. Anyways, I do believe in my love and I hope things turn just right. I've however, decided to go on for a temporary separation. Will be living apart for few months. Hope things change for good.

- - - Post Merge - - -

Thank you once again for all your replies and advice. It means a lot. Thank you so much.

 

[LinkToTheWorld]

I think taking the job would be quite final, if you find it isn't working out and you want to move back, would that be an option?
I understand what you mean about needing your own space. If you're quite an introverted person like I am, it would be my worst nightmare to not have my own space. I can't be done with being around people all day long, it really sounds like you both just need to establish your own space. Do some reading on people with introvert personalities, people with this personality suffer negatively from not having time on their own and it can lead to further problems.

I hope it all works out for you, maybe time apart is what is needed to find yourselves again (sounds a bit silly but that's how I'd see it).
Best of luck to you xx