Boyfriend problems

[Acnl_starfall]

So I recently started dating my best guy friend.


he does so much for me even though we have different lunches and different classes he always cares that I have food, I have money for lunch or anything and if i don't he will give me money, food and things. but I don't do that in return like I care for what he does but I'm not asking if he needs money and things.

then friends from my classes are like eww why are you dating him he is such a f**kboy and stuff like that and I ask him questions and stuff like that and it seems that he isn't. also whenever I want to see him or something people are like oh your going to see your boyfriend and stuff, I also get paranoid that when were together people will see us or a camera is nearby. (we have cameras in halls and stuff in my school)

he is always saying I love you to me and saying he misses me and he wants to hold me and stuff like that over text and I usually say me too and stuff because I don't know what to say. and when we fight its me getting upset at him and its him defending himself.

he also always wants to see me because he wants hugs and wants me and stuff, this is my first relationship and I asked to take it slow, and I don't even know if I like him anymore?? I don't want him to get upset because his friends say he is so happy ever since we got together and stuff like that and he has a rough time at home, I can tell he really cares for me but I don't show to the same respect like I care and stuff but I don't be so nice to him like he is for me, I don't want to break up with him, but it was so much easier to hug him and meet him when we weren't dating but I want to keep dating him I don't know what to do??? what should I do??

 

[ramen.jpg]

why don't you try being in an open relationship or just friends or something he sounds so controlling and I'm assuming the relationship isn't good for you

I would tell you more but I have to go to chemo see ya~

 

[Chris]

Ignore what your friends say.

You don't need to be reciprocating the exact same things equally in order to like someone. e.g. that stuff you said about how he acts at lunch vs how you might act is irrelevant. Different people show their feelings in different ways.

Speak to him honestly. Tell him you want to take it more slowly, and define exactly what you might mean by that. Tell him if certain actions make you uncomfortable. You have free will to say that. If you feel smothered, express that to him. You can ask someone to tone back their actions without ending things altogether - which, based on what you have said, is what you seem to want.

 

[seliph]

He doesn't sound controlling at all, especially considering he doesn't know how you feel. He just sounds a bit clingy and that's perfectly okay.

For the love of god, like 90% of problems in Brewster's this can be solved if you just talk to him and be honest. Tell him you're a bit overwhelmed since it's your first relationship and you want to take things slower to make sure it goes smoothly. You're not a bad person for that. You're also not a bad person for not constantly checking up on him.

 

[boujee]

awkward adolescents in love

I mean like, this is your first relationship and you're getting the gisp of it. Pace yourself and relax. You're overthinking it[hence why I said awkward], if you worry you're going to stress your own self out and become uninterested.

 

[okaimii]

I honestly think you're overthinking it. It's your first relationship so it's going to be a little weird at first. Just talk to him and be honest about your feelings.

 

[Flare]

So I recently started dating my best guy friend.


he does so much for me even though we have different lunches and different classes he always cares that I have food, I have money for lunch or anything and if i don't he will give me money, food and things. but I don't do that in return like I care for what he does but I'm not asking if he needs money and things.

then friends from my classes are like eww why are you dating him he is such a f**kboy and stuff like that and I ask him questions and stuff like that and it seems that he isn't. also whenever I want to see him or something people are like oh your going to see your boyfriend and stuff, I also get paranoid that when were together people will see us or a camera is nearby. (we have cameras in halls and stuff in my school)

he is always saying I love you to me and saying he misses me and he wants to hold me and stuff like that over text and I usually say me too and stuff because I don't know what to say. and when we fight its me getting upset at him and its him defending himself.

he also always wants to see me because he wants hugs and wants me and stuff, this is my first relationship and I asked to take it slow, and I don't even know if I like him anymore?? I don't want him to get upset because his friends say he is so happy ever since we got together and stuff like that and he has a rough time at home, I can tell he really cares for me but I don't show to the same respect like I care and stuff but I don't be so nice to him like he is for me, I don't want to break up with him, but it was so much easier to hug him and meet him when we weren't dating but I want to keep dating him I don't know what to do??? what should I do??

This reminds me of a friend of mine...
Does he have a worry of losing you? I know my friend said her boyfriend would do similar things as well...
If he says he loves you and such, then you should accept it as maybe he really does.
Curse those people to hell who say stuff he might not be... just relax and everything will be okay as this is indeed all part of a relationship.

 

[Chicha]

Like others said, just talk to him about how you're feeling. Being in a relationship requires communication from both sides so if one of you is feeling uncomfortable but doesn't say it, how will the other know? Just tell him you'd like to take it slow and have less PDA until you're more comfortable with it.

I'll be honest, when I was starting out in my relationship, my boyfriend was very affectionate--sometimes a bit too much. It can get a little embarrassing when you're trying to have a conversation with someone with your SO all over you. He understood when I told him and that was that. Relationships take time to adjust to so of course it's going to feel funny at first.

And it's normal for others to talk about your relationship. You're teenagers so you're both going to be the hot topic among your groups of friends. Sometimes people will be blunt so try not to take it heart (unless your SO is showing signs of abuse to you but that's not the case it seems).

Anyway, just talk to him and hear each other out. Good luck!

 

[EpicGamer12]

I personally feel like you might not be ready for a dedicated relationship. I am in no place to make that decision for you though, so in the meantime, try to know that communication is always going to be the most important thing in relationships. Don't say things to him that you don't necessarily believe. That is bad.

 

[Jade_Amell]

Communication is very important in relationships. Just sit down and talk to him. Now...uhm...uncomfortable question comment type thing. You mention that he says 'he wants me' if he's pressuring you to have sex and it is something you're not ready for. You should probably let him know. Also, consider talking to either your parents or a trusted adult about safe sex or find a Planned Parenthood and talk to them about birth control.

As for your friends saying he's a 'f-boy' maybe ask them what they mean by that? Granted, they might just be jealous because you have a boyfriend or they might know something you don't know. Regardless, talking to him about this would be good.

 

[abbydoll]

I was kind of in a relationship like that 3 years ago. My friends hated him and actually stopped talking to me when I got with him. I honestly wished I would've listened to them when they told me he was no good for me.

At first he was clingy, then he started being controlling, until he was flat-out abusive. Your boyfriend might not turn out that way, but I'd still be careful. The moment he first tries to control something you do, leave. Don't stick around hoping he'll change, or thinking its just a one time thing. You're probably still young anyways, so just be careful. ◠‿◠

(And yes I agree with everyone here that you just need to talk to him. A lot of problems can be solved when you talk to each other and not about each other!)

 

[Flare]

With all these girls getting into these problems with their boyfriends...
I'm not sure how I would turn for this girl. If I ever talked to her more than what I would...
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