daringred_
✧ stupid lesbian ✧
sorry, but i said you appearing to care more about women's perception of men over women's lack of ability to feel safe is part of the problem. which is true given everything you've stated above. several women have explained to you why a number of us hold this view, and you yourself claim to understand it, and yet you continue to push the idea that there's a gender divide (while also generalizing women despite seeming to have a problem with the reverse even though there's valid reason for it) based on instances that aren't particularly common. plenty of "nice ones" can turn on a dime or end up not being very nice at all, and i've experienced that myself in the past. i recently had a male highschool friend get into contact with me, and he's what i would've called a genuinely nice guy, but it turned out he was ultimately only interested in sleeping with me and stopped messaging me as soon as he realized i wasn't interested. (and this was after he repeatedly said a number of uncomfortably sexual things.)
i don't think calling men "stalkers" is a power move. of course there will always be people who overreact and/or misinterpret behavior, but that is not a female-exclusive trait, and acting as though it is adds to the problem too. (similarly, while there are extreme feminists who try to stick it to all men, there are also misogynists who claim women should stay in the kitchen or not be allowed to work etc.) given the statistics i mentioned previously, women have every right to be wary of men -- especially given that men you know are the ones most likely to kill/assault you. we've all seen the 'horror stories' of women who turn men down, say 'no' or give out fake numbers and wind up dead or in hospital. if a woman isn't interested in a man (either platonically or romantically) and that man continues acting overly flirtatious/affection/friendly, especially in spite of a woman's visible discomfort, then, yeah, it does come across as a little stalker-y. for example, i was once DM'ed on instagram by a total male (and much older) stranger. turned out he was clearly looking for something romantic/sexual. i blocked him. a day or two later, he messages me again on a different account. i told him to do one and blocked him again. fortunately, he didn't try a third time, but i would still classify him as "stalker-y". (and he isn't the only older male stranger who's messaged me unsolicited.) there's this dangerous idea among a lot of men that they are entitled to women. (or their bodies. whichever.) you say no, and you could wind up dead, so of course even a slightly above normal level of unwelcome interest can cause discomfort and, ultimately, make the woman feel stalked -- especially if it only continues and especially if that discomfort is obvious/verbalized.
again, like i said, i'm sure there are cases of women who accuse well-meaning men of stalking or throw out the insult of being a stalker, but as someone else said above, that's nothing to do with being a woman, that's to do with being a jerk. i think, instead of acting like this is some sort of deliberate coordinated attack against men, you should focus on why a lot of women might feel like they're being stalked and address that instead. i'm confident that if less women were being murdered/assaulted by men, catcalled on the streets, genuinely stalked, scared of going out at night and/or saying no, you would also have a lot less women who feel uncomfortable around men and/or accusing them of stalking based on unwelcome advances etc.
