Depressed... any advice?

[raeyoung]

Hi, I'm Regan. I am going through depression and I have been having suicidal thoughts lately. I am in need of advice and help.

What Happened
Let's call this kid Leo. So, Leo used to be a good friend of mine. He then writes this letter thinking I'm someone I'm not. He made up this evil alter ego of me, it seems. He then threatens to write a rant about me, which will obviously be sent to a good deal of people, especially the people I know. I've cried several tears because of Leo. I honestly don't know what's going on in his mind. UPDATE: Leo is not in anyway a romance connection to me. We used to think of each other as siblings when we were friends and he is dating my friend (let's call her Allison) atm.

Another thing that has happened was, there is this boy that I like and he liked me back. Let's call him Aidan. Aidan asked me out over the weekend via text message when we found out we liked each other. I had to turn him down because I am not allowed to date yet. Fast-forward a couple days, Aidan was dared by his friend to ask a girl out. This girl was a girl he liked in 6th grade. The girl surprisingly said yes, and Aidan snapchatted me apologizing that he was being a selfish fool. They broke up the day afterwards. He then snapchats me after school and we talk things out. He says that ever since I had said no to his asking me out, he's been desperate to have a girlfriend, and was more focused on that than me. I told him that was okay but you know girls, they're actually heartbroken and dead inside which was me. This didn't help my depression at all. UPDATE: Aidan is not a player. The reason why he did the the dare was because he thought the girl would say no, but when the girl said yes he became selfish and apologized. We decided to just be best friends and pretend nothing happened between us, and if it happens again we'll pretend like it's brand new.

A final thing is that I feel socially unaccepted. I also feel like a loser. I feel like I'll never have the happy life most other girls around me have. I don't feel pretty or cool at all. I feel like a human dumpster, which I practically am.
In conclusion, my life is a soggy waffle.



What should I do?

 

[himeki]

see a doctor?

 

[moonford]

Speak to family members who you trust, maybe a councillor, therapy.

It ultimately depends you never know, you can be having mood swings or forgive me for sounding rude "over reacting " to non existent problems, you say you feel like an outcast but has anybody aside from the people at hand treated you badly and if so how?

 

[tae]

as someone who just got out of an in-patient psych hospital for almost 2 weeks, if you're suicidal or have thoughts of harming yourself the only advice i have for you is seek medical help immediately.

 

[CatsAreSuperCool]

I like to watch Youtube videos when I feel upset. It won't cure it, but it'll keep your mind off it, at least from my experience. I hope you'll feel better. I know depression is very tough to deal with, but we're all here for you.

 

[N e s s]

Honestly from what i'm hearing you're just going through something known as school.

The truth is, you're still young. Your life has barely started. Just because you feel like you're not pretty or cool, that doesn't mean you need to have inflicting thoughts about yourself because it isn't healthy at all. You don't have to be pretty and cool to have a happy life, because life moves on in different phases. You will meet people out there who care about you, and even though I don't know you i'm sure there is someone you know who cares about you.

I would highly recommend that you speak with your family or a councilor at your school about this. If you need any more advice or want to vent to someone i'll always be open.

 

[Cailey]

first off, you have a lovely name.

second, I'm sorry you're feeling depressed and are having suicidal thoughts, regan. I've been there too many times and one of those times almost costed me my life. I can't say I know exactly what you are going through as everyone's situations are unique and different in their own ways, but I can say I've been in the dark.... pit you're in now.

alright, well, leo sounds like a jerk. what made him turn on you if you two were friends? sounds like he's seeking revenge or something otherwise I can't think of why he would do something like that.

as far as aidan, I wouldn't even give him the time of day if he stooped down to a low enough level to take his friend on a dare to ask another girl out when you clearly liked him and he felt the same way. what a fool he is. like okay, he apologized, but that doesn't make it better in my eyes. you're still heartbroken and no boy is worth a woman's tears, let me tell ya! because there's a wonderful man out there waiting for you and that'll be who you date and maybe even marry someday. petty boys like aidan who think playing a girl like he did you aren't worth anyone's time. I apologize if I'm being insensitive - but he hurt you and that is not okay. you're already in a low point right now and him doing this was unnecessary. do not tell him something is okay when it isn't. don't give him that power and make him think this is okay because he will take your word and just do this to someone else or worse, he will do it to you again.

feeling like you are socially unaccepted honestly is a feeling I feel most kids have growing up. it's a phase. some people can learn to grow out of it and some stay stuck in it and that's unfortunate. I don't know your age but for this particular snippet, it'd be helpful to know that. since I don't know, I can't get totally personal like I'd like to but I'll just say - you will have a happy life. you deserve one, at least. you need to focus on yourself though, and your mental health and well being. not leo, not aidan, but you. regan. I'm sure you're stunning. you're beautiful, you're worth it. you're cool, you're awesome, in fact, regan, you are unique and you have so much potential! you are strong and you are witty. you are brave and you are thoughtful. you put others before yourself, and you are precious. your life is precious.

there are plenty of options to turn to from here.....
have you tried counseling? can you talk to your family? do you have a couple close buddies?
if not, use us! use the forums. use video games, find a good tv show. go outside for walks each day as the weather is becoming nicer. watch funny youtube videos, focus on school and do some homework, paint your nails, play a sport, listen to some music! scream in a pillow, light some candles. do you have animals? walk them or pet them or talk to them. go for a swim. go for a jog. curl up under blankets! find a nice book. call a hotline. go shopping. go out to eat! go buy some candy! bake a cake....

you can always talk to me if you need someone. I'm online a lot although I'm on invisible.
I know what it's like to be in the dark area you are and I know what it's like to be in a place with no one to turn to.

good luck to you, beautiful soul. no one should ever have to feel this way.

 

[cornimer]

I'm so sorry that you're feeling this way. You should definitely talk to a family member or someone that you trust about how you feel, and perhaps look into getting some counselling.

I know that life can seem like a lot sometimes but please know that it does get better. Even if it does't seem like it will, it will, somehow. You won't feel the way you do now for the rest of your life. There will be ups and downs but things will always go on. I guarantee you have a bright future ahead of you.

 

[Dawnpiplup]

First of all, I think you're an awesome person who has a lot of potential! You're a sweet, charming, and fun gal, and I'm sure you're just as beautiful on the outside as you are on the inside. Don't let such poopy things get to you.

Now, the thing that pops into my mind about why Leo would do such a thing is perhaps he was jealous of you liking Aidan and or vice versa? Or maybe he's going through some sort of weird stage in his life? Revenge? Well, whatever the reason, he made a poor decision to turn on you like that...and Aidan also made a stupid decision by taking that dare, and sure was right in saying that he was a fool.

...Regan, I have been in your shoes before. Not your actual shoes of course, but I mean that I've felt like a loser before. Heck, I still do think I'm a loser sometimes, especially whenever I do something stupid....but hey, there's no need to get all down because of it. Regan, you're a wonderful person...don't be this way. Try listening to some music, hang out with your friends, eat ice cream/your favorite foods, watch your favorite movies/episodes/tv channels, get counselling, etc. Feel free to talk to me whenever you're down. I'm here for you, and I'm sure many are. Feel better Regan

 

[vel]

if you're having these thoughts, please go see a doctor or get medical help. it will help you. speak to a counselor as well.

 

[That Zephyr Guy]

+1 to seeing a doctor or your counselor. It's the easiest way to get through this.

 

[piichinu]

You're in middle school right? I kinda remember u from a while ago so ignore this if I'm wrong. (Or this could apply to freshmen in high school as well I guess.)
Middle school is awful. Ur surrounded by all this petty drama which probably doesn't seem petty to you, but it rly is.
First there's this Leo kid. He sounds ****in crazy I don't think anyone will take him seriously LOL. If he were to """publish""" something like that I'm sure he'd be the one looked down on and not you. It seems v edgy and stupid and obsessive and I think ur friends or classmates might agree with me on this. U want to know what's going on in his mind? That ***** is crazy there's nothing 2 understand. If he happens to be jealous of you because he likes you, that doesn't matter. We've established that he is an ******* and if that is how he works out his jealousy, I don't see why you would want to be around him (that is if you do want to be around him). Sounds like a future abusive partner to me unless he corrects his **** lol. TL;DR Ignore him he's irrelevant and probably mentally unstable.

As for this Aidan kid... not to be rude but you seem to be worrying over something totally unimportant at this stage in your life. Ik it's easy to just say "don't worry about it" but that's difficult for some people to accomplish and I'm seeing that ur one of those people. So let me explain WHY u shouldn't worry about it.
1. Since you're younger and your parents don't want you to date, respect that. It's perfectly reasonable.
2. The fact that you both like each other is good but...there will be other better opportunities later in your life when you surround yourself with mature people. AND your parents will approve.
3. The fact that he approved a dare to ask a girl out is..pretty mean? Like lmfao doesn't seem like he's taking this too seriously himself, unlike you who actually seems to be concerned.
4. HE BROKE UP WITH A GIRL HE FAKE-ASKED OUT AFTER ONE DAY. Just shows how insignificant these middle school relationships are LOL.
5. This kids a ****boy. Simple as that. He's clearly trying to guilt you into something even when he knows your parents don't approve (at least I think he does). Do you see the problem with that?
TL;DR Aidan doesn't take relationships seriously just like every kid in middle school even though they really think they are. Don't bother lol.

And finally, ur last paragraph.
U feel socially unaccepted? Go talk with the other kids who feel the same way. : ) because there are lots. Middle schoolers are so concerned with looking ""cool"" so technically you could say not even the "popular" (they'll be totally irrelevant in high school jsyk) girls could be considered the same way as someone who feels they're an outcast. What is being socially accepted anyway? Not like ur a serial killer or something. There's really so much out there that to say you're not socially acceptable is just wrong IMO. Unless u like...have extreme circumstances (which you don't).
Also don't worry about the happy life girls around you have. They also have the same problems as you, dw. Like you they have self-esteem issues and problems with boys. They just don't talk about it because they're afraid to show weakness (a symptom of low self-esteem, by the way). If u feel like a human dumpster just empty out that trash in ur life (Leo & co.) and repurpose yourself for something else. It's w/e

PS sorry I can't sympathize with the boyfriend stuff much I'm asexual so I never had those problems. But trust me you'll be fine later.

I know it sucks to hear someone say your problems are insignificant because clearly to you it seems like your entire life revolves around those problems. If these things are making you unhappy, why keep them in ur life? Even if you see them at school every day it's still pretty easy (and fun) to act like they don't exist. I'm not saying to run away from every problem but the two you listed specifically are just yikes and I'd just totally be like BYE if I were u. Make internet friends if you can't have real life friends they r just as cool.

Me typing out this paragraph will probably only help you with about 1% of your issues, the rest is up to you. Because if you don't realize and understand these things yourself it just means nothing. I had a bad time in middle school too. I was ugly and a prick about being smart LOL. I also had no social interacation practice due to my #life so I was probably unintentionally rude to people too. If u want more info I can give it to u, bcuz after I got depressed in middle school I started to observe people's actions a lot and i still do. TBH after the bad time I had I really like myself now. I made myself pretty and learned to filter what I say and now I avoid petty people. Freshman year it was spread around that I was a genius even tho i never bragged about my grades. People also thought my jokes/pranks were funny and in middle school that same stuff would have murdered me socially twice. I developed a good reputation so I can just screw around now. Kids in my grade school got jealous and tried talking **** bout me but people who liked me would tell me what they were saying and ask why there were so obsessed w me (LIKE LEO). My advice for u now is the stuff I said up there + to develop ur interests and hobbies and focus on yourself nd not other people. Develop who u want to be but still know how to act in certain situations. Some people will be naturally drawn to you this way. It's way too much effort to become "socially acceptable," effort which idk about u but I'd rather put that into becoming good at art or getting better grades. Okay I'm done sorry if something doesn't make sense i always tend to assume other people can imply what I haven't said. amen Jesus �������� I'm totally going 2 cringe at this later but like I said I don't care about that anymore. Good luck (-:

 

[Soda Fox]

Hey, pleasure meeting you. Boy howdy do I feel you in a lot of ways.

Growing up I was sort of the outcast. Each year in school, until high school anyway, I had maybe one friend, and each year that "friend" would start talking behind my back and I would be back to square one, be alone for awhile until I found a new friend. It was pretty rough and I didn't trust people for awhile. Growing up I felt like I shouldn't exist since I didn't fit in. Not suicidal when I was younger, just like I shouldn't even exist at all. At 26 I still have some suicidal thoughts but they're few and far between these days.

I know the heartbreak you're going through with Aiden and Leo. I was a bit of a tomboy and my "friends" were usually boys who used me as a bit of a stepping stone in my eyes. Once they got comfortable hanging out with me they would start talking to other, more "popular", girls and backstab me. My trust in guys was little to none after years of that experience, and I didn't have my first attempt at a serious relationship until I was 17. And even then, the guy played with my feelings, leading me along only to date a girl from across the country and attempt to cheat on her with me (since they lived so far away and I was right down the street). Please don't ever let someone use you like that, or if they do, try to be strong and take care of yourself first. Do what is right for you.

I think it's wonderful that you came to us with your feelings. Forums really helped me get through my rough times... hence why they're still my favorite form of social media even to this day! Even if you feel out of place in your real life, you can know there are people who haven't even met you but still care about you. I would also recommend talking to a trusted adult, not necessarily a parent, and if you have any siblings or cousins that you're close to. I know from experience that it's hard to open up to a counselor or a parent, but that's my experience and not yours. Do what feels right to you.

A lot of people have already said this, but it goes for me as well. I'm always around to lend an ear if you feel like messaging me. Good luck!

 

[LinkToTheWorld]

I'm not going to dismiss it as just being related to school, as clearly having suicidal thoughts is not a normal part of childhood.
I had a difficult time at school. Went through bullying, wasn't terribly popular to begin with and struggled to make friends. But I never contemplated killing myself, so this is not just a part of growing up for you. I have now suffered with depression and anxiety for many years. Recently I've started on a different course of tablets,I've changed them several times, and these seem to be helping.

Depression can come from different things and yours seems to be coming from your situation. You would benefit from seeing a doctor and talking this through with somebody. You don't necessarily have to be on medication, the doctor will assess you to see what your mood is like and decide where to go from there. Please go and speak to somebody. Not sure how old you are, but if you can speak to your parents about needing to see the doctor, even if you don't tell them the actual reason (if that's possible).
It can get easier, you have to stick with it and try whatever options you have available to get yourself in a better mental state.
I have attempted suicide in the past, and in a twist of fate I now have a condition which means my life will be dramatically shortened.
Trust me when I say it is no solution at all. It's no easy way out. I know me saying that isn't going to suddenly cure you, just want you to see you can get past it. It takes time and you won't be able to do it alone

Feel free to message me anytime you like

 

[littletwinclouds]

I think it's totally unfair for people to say that it's "just school". Your feelings may be coming from that, but having suicidal thoughts is a serious warning sign. If your health or safety is at risk it's really important to put yourself first.

You should definitely talk to someone - a therapist/ school counselor /GP, or a trusted family member or adult. It's important to get to the root of what is causing you to feel this way, and to equip you with coping strategies to help you manage these situations. Even if you aren't diagnosed with clinical depression, being able to talk out the situations with friends and school like the ones you mentioned above are really helpful, and a counselor can definitely give you great advice.

These feelings are really scary, and you've already taking the brave first step of acknowledging that things aren't right - you should be really proud of yourself!
Just know that there will always be people here that care about you and want to listen and help

Sending you lots of love, I know that you can absolutely get through what you're feeling right now!! xx

 

[LinkToTheWorld]

I think it's totally unfair for people to say that it's "just school". Your feelings may be coming from that, but having suicidal thoughts is a serious warning sign. If your health or safety is at risk it's really important to put yourself first.

You should definitely talk to someone - a therapist/ school counselor /GP, or a trusted family member or adult. It's important to get to the root of what is causing you to feel this way, and to equip you with coping strategies to help you manage these situations. Even if you aren't diagnosed with clinical depression, being able to talk out the situations with friends and school like the ones you mentioned above are really helpful, and a counselor can definitely give you great advice.

These feelings are really scary, and you've already taking the brave first step of acknowledging that things aren't right - you should be really proud of yourself!
Just know that there will always be people here that care about you and want to listen and help

Sending you lots of love, I know that you can absolutely get through what you're feeling right now!! xx

I agree with you. Many many kids have problems in school. They don't all end up with suicidal thoughts. Sometimes these threads can be a great help but other times I wonder if they won't just make a situation worse by having things being played down. I would hate for somebody feeling like this to read a comment which prevents them from seeking help.
Your problems are certainly not insignificant by the way. When you're suffering depression absolutely everything looks darker. Everything is more difficult to deal with. You mustn't feel like your problems aren't serious and allow them to be dismissed as what everybody else is going through. It isn't.

Wish you much luck and I hope you will update us with better news soon xx

 

[Samansu]

I agree with you. Many many kids have problems in school. They don't all end up with suicidal thoughts. Sometimes these threads can be a great help but other times I wonder if they won't just make a situation worse by having things being played down. I would hate for somebody feeling like this to read a comment which prevents them from seeking help.
Your problems are certainly not insignificant by the way. When you're suffering depression absolutely everything looks darker. Everything is more difficult to deal with. You mustn't feel like your problems aren't serious and allow them to be dismissed as what everybody else is going through. It isn't.

Wish you much luck and I hope you will update us with better news soon xx

I agree. Please don't listen to those who are dismissing it as 'just school.' These things are significant to you, so they DO matter! I agree that you should try not to worry about Aiden or Leo, and probably cut them off if you can. It seems as though they are not worth your time, and don't really care about you. I understand that may be hard, but please try to remember that you deserve people who make you happy not people who upset you.

I never really felt accepted in school either, at least not by my classmates. I got along very well with the teachers and would often talk to them. If you feel as though you don't have any friends try looking on this site! It seems there are many people who would like to talk to you and be your friend!

Lastly, if you are having suicidal thoughts please talk to your parents, a counselor, a doctor, or another trusted adult about it. If you would like to talk to someone anonymously, you can go here The Trevor Project. There are multiple different ways to get in touch with someone you can talk to.

I have depression as well, so please don't feel alone. It gets better, and life is worth living my dear!

~Good luck and feel free to contact me if you ever want to talk! ^-^

 

[raeyoung]

Hello everyone! Thank you so much for your nice comments and support. I have updated the OP, for those still looking to help. I will definitely speak to you guys more if it gets worse or if I need to get more of it off my chest. Again, thank you so much, it means a lot. :')

 

[batter.butter.bitter]

LIFE is SHORT.
LOVE your LIFE.
LOVE yourself.

BE more POSITIVE.
FOCUS on your studies and always be around with your loved ones.

Its sounds generic but I hope it would help you.

 

[Samansu]

Hello everyone! Thank you so much for your nice comments and support. I have updated the OP, for those still looking to help. I will definitely speak to you guys more if it gets worse or if I need to get more of it off my chest. Again, thank you so much, it means a lot. :')

I'm glad you are feeling a bit better! I hope things keep looking up, but we are here for you if you need us! ^-^