Do you have an easier time making friends online or irl?
- Thread starter Oldcatlady
- Start date
I definitely have an easier time online. I think that we can find people with similar interests much more easily online. I can make friends in real life, but the ones online are usually the ones that I have stronger connections with. People online tend to be way less judgmental.
I have an easier time online by far. I'm shy both online and in person but I'm a lot more shy in person and I feel like I come across a lot more reserved/closed off which makes it harder to make friends. Online while I am still shy I feel like I have more control over what I say (typing out vs actually speaking the words gives me more time to think about my response and how I want to word it) and I can always remove/edit my posts at a later date if I no longer feel comfortable with what I've written. Online people also don't have the same pre-determined thoughts and ideas about me/my family that other people may have who've known me since high school or have known my family - online I'm completely separate from them unless I choose to disclose that information.
Dunquixote
Semi-Hiatus
I have an easier time making friends online, though I didn’t realize this until fairly recently since I am still very shy both online and IRL. I suck at articulating my thoughts as well as coming up with things to say but I am way better talking online than verbally since I have time to think and I can edit or delete my posts while verbally I can’t. I have trouble gathering my thoughts on the spot and starting or participating in conversations. I think I was fine in elementary and maybe okay even middle school; but I probably didn’t have as strong symptoms of asperger’s back then and I also didn’t have as much insecurity (I think middle school was when I sfarted developing anxiety).
VanitasFan26
I'm just a ghost.
I am just done with making friends. I refuse to let this pain get any worse if I try to befriend anyone who tries to take advantage of me or at least tries to be my friend for a while and then suddenly forget about me. Its nothing against you or anyone else, but for me I am just fed up of being treated like this and just not really in the mood to make anymore friends at this point. At this point the advice of "making more friends" is dead to me. I will no longer put up with it.
I have to learn for myself whats best for me and not let anyone try to change me for who I am. Sometimes not having friends can make you feel good which in my case after not having anymore friends after what just happened suddenly made me feel better, now I don't feel the need to "force" myself to make friends because I realize it was making me feel worse about myself.
I am sorry to hear about your experience and that must suck and I understand because it was the same thing I was going through with past friends. Its so hard these days to find that one "true friend" you want but next thing you know they turned out to be bad as the years go by, but what can you do? Its part of life and I just have to deal with the reality of it.
Also I've used to have friends who I thought were really kind to me but they turned out to be fake. They were only my friend just to take advantage of me. It seems like everything when they talk to me they want something from me or they just feel the need to tell me to do something for them that they cannot do themselves. Me being stubborn that I was I just took the bait and did everything for them. When I noticed that they stopped talking to me they were telling me how they don't need me anymore because they got what they want.
Don't misunderstand its not like I am saying that "everyone" is bad but throughout my life this is the type of crap I had to deal with. You may not understand it too well but there are many people out there who try to be your friend just to get things out of you and then next thing you know they will not want to be around you anymore.
This is why I say I am not making more friends and truth be told I am just better off having friends. You may disagree with me thats fine I understand you're trying to give me realization but in my personal opinion I am just better off without them. I have to take time to care for myself and not let people tell me things to bring me down or feel a certain way that benefits them and not me.
I have to learn for myself whats best for me and not let anyone try to change me for who I am. Sometimes not having friends can make you feel good which in my case after not having anymore friends after what just happened suddenly made me feel better, now I don't feel the need to "force" myself to make friends because I realize it was making me feel worse about myself.
I am sorry to hear about your experience and that must suck and I understand because it was the same thing I was going through with past friends. Its so hard these days to find that one "true friend" you want but next thing you know they turned out to be bad as the years go by, but what can you do? Its part of life and I just have to deal with the reality of it.
Also I've used to have friends who I thought were really kind to me but they turned out to be fake. They were only my friend just to take advantage of me. It seems like everything when they talk to me they want something from me or they just feel the need to tell me to do something for them that they cannot do themselves. Me being stubborn that I was I just took the bait and did everything for them. When I noticed that they stopped talking to me they were telling me how they don't need me anymore because they got what they want.
Don't misunderstand its not like I am saying that "everyone" is bad but throughout my life this is the type of crap I had to deal with. You may not understand it too well but there are many people out there who try to be your friend just to get things out of you and then next thing you know they will not want to be around you anymore.
This is why I say I am not making more friends and truth be told I am just better off having friends. You may disagree with me thats fine I understand you're trying to give me realization but in my personal opinion I am just better off without them. I have to take time to care for myself and not let people tell me things to bring me down or feel a certain way that benefits them and not me.
JellyBeans
only half awake
i think there's kind of a split for me between the two, in some situations it's better online but in some it's better in person. i'd say potentially it's easier for me to *start* friendships online because there's less pressure to keep a conversation flowing without awkward gaps and you have more time to think about what you're saying/doing, but then once you get beyond the basic small talk it can be easier to convey tone and make deeper friends with people in person since you're just that bit closer. that's just me though! i know so many people have closer connections with online friends than irl friends and part of me wishes i had that same connection with people online but i often fear i'm annoying people when i reach out to them online lol
Neither are easier than the other for me. I still get the sense that I'm not making sense or saying the wrong thing. I'm not very good at conversations overall, texting and verbal wise.
For what it’s worth every time we’ve chatted (and anytime I’ve seen you around the forum) you’ve always been really well-spoken! You’re always really sweet, friendly, and you make perfect sense to me.
For what it’s worth every time we’ve chatted (and anytime I’ve seen you around the forum) you’ve always been really well-spoken! You’re always really sweet, friendly, and you make perfect sense to me.
Thank you for saying that, I'm really happy to hear that it seems I've been doing well so far!
I've never been so active before in any other public online space, so I end up doubting myself in this regard haha. ^^
Tbh I struggle with making friends online- I'm just not active enough, and a major lurker as I never know what to say, especially in groups hahah.
I do still struggle to make new friends irl as I'm not the best at talking to people. Also, tbf, normally if I judge that a I won't be able to form a long-term, deeper relationship with a person, I just don't bother investing time and emotional effort into it.
I don't, however, seem to have as much trouble keeping friends luckily.
I do still struggle to make new friends irl as I'm not the best at talking to people. Also, tbf, normally if I judge that a I won't be able to form a long-term, deeper relationship with a person, I just don't bother investing time and emotional effort into it.
I don't, however, seem to have as much trouble keeping friends luckily.
I guess IRL. Online I tend to be a lurker, and don't really strike up conversations with people. But offline, even though I'm shy, I'm a very smiley person so I think that makes me seem approachable. Having said that, I wouldn't say I'm "good" at making friends. I treasure the people I do connect with.
Millysaurusrexjr
hello everynyan
I have an easier time making friends online, via text. Via audio/video it gets significantly harder. In person? Forget about it
nyx~
~killutora~
I struggle with both irl and online but it's easier online cause they can't physically see my awkwardness if that makes sense lol. I'm way more "talkative" online then irl. I even struggle with just talking through a voice chat so texting is usually my go to.
Dunquixote
Semi-Hiatus
Neither are easier than the other for me. I still get the sense that I'm not making sense or saying the wrong thing. I'm not very good at conversations overall, texting and verbal wise.
@-Lumi- is right! You are very well spoken and you are super kind to everyone. You also have a great sense of humor and extremely creative and talented in AC and with your artwork.
I understand how you feel very much; I still experience that feeling but I’m trying really hard to feel more comfortable and I have been to a degree. I hope in time you’re start feeling more comfortable too 
.
I think it's easier for me in person. I'm usually comfortable once I start talking with someone but I'm pretty bad about approaching people, and I've made most of my in person friends without really having to do that. Reaching out to people online always makes me more nervous because idk I worry I'm being too invasive or something.
Disneyfangirl23
🦁 Lion King fangirl 🦁
It’s easier to make friends online I think
I suck at making friends being it online or IRL. The recent friends I made online are people I decided to look for pen palling but even sometimes it just never clicks and so we stop talking. However those who clicked seems to be good real friendships.
Most of the time I'm just in groups and servers and talk to a few people regularly but they'd probably never notice if I leave the group.
Really, I'd love to suggest for anyone comfortable trying to send snail mail and make pen pals. Get a P. O box first though!
Most of the time I'm just in groups and servers and talk to a few people regularly but they'd probably never notice if I leave the group.
Really, I'd love to suggest for anyone comfortable trying to send snail mail and make pen pals. Get a P. O box first though!
