Do you have any bad "friends"?

[Buttonsy]

You would be surprised how many people actually keep toxic people in their life. I do it a lot. It feels good to have someone pay attention to you, even if the attention is negative. At least when you are being hurt, people are paying attention to you. When you are being ignored, you are all alone.

I'd like to say that, as someone who has gone from having toxic people in my life, to cutting those people out and being very lonely, it sucks at first, but in my experience, being lonely isn't as bad as being degraded by forcing yourself to hang out with bad company, IMO. While it's healthier to just have good friends, out of the two options, being alone definitely has more benefits than being in the company of people who don't respect you.

Not telling anyone who doesn't know if they are able to handle it to cut out toxic people when they aren't ready, but as someone who has made that leap from having toxic relationships, to having just a few relationships because only a few people in my life weren't toxic, being lonely but safe, and strong, and respected, feels nicer than being hurt.

 

[cornimer]

For two years I was "best friends" with a girl who was pretty toxic. Basically I would do anything and everything for her (editing all her assignments literally 10 times each, printing stuff for her with my own money, buying food for her, helping her with all her problems) but she would always make me feel like I wasn't good enough. And if there was ever anything I couldn't do, all of a sudden I was a bad friend. For example, she wanted me to walk her to all of her exams so she didn't get nervous, and I walked her to all of them except one because I wasn't in town on the day of the last one, and because I couldn't walk with her to that one exam all of a sudden I was letting her down, and she thought she could depend on me but now she can't.

She also took all of her negative feelings out on me (if she was feeling anxious, she would yell at me when I was just trying to help) and she knew that she did this but she said that she "needs an outlet for her anger and she knows that I'll forgive her for it"

Oh I would also purposely get stuff wrong on tests and stuff because I knew that if I got a higher grade than her she would be mad at me for stealing her achievements.

Anyways I don't really talk to her anymore but ugh I wish I could get those two years of my life back

 

[lunatepic]

Thankfully not really. I had some kind of clingy friends in the past but we drifted apart. All the people I'm friends with now are super chill and low maintenance, we talk a couple times a week via text and meet up only occasionally, it's nice

 

[LambdaDelta]

You would be surprised how many people actually keep toxic people in their life. I do it a lot. It feels good to have someone pay attention to you, even if the attention is negative. At least when you are being hurt, people are paying attention to you. When you are being ignored, you are all alone.

I'd rather have people pay less attention to me at most all times tbh, so this entire post is foreign to me

and "being emotionally abused feels great" even moreso. I mean unless you're some sort of masochist

 

[leahhhhaaaaa]

I don?t have any friends. Hahahahahah oh.

 

[Mr. Cat]

I have 3 good friends and a bad "friend".

 

[SoraDeathEater]

Oh man, yeah and luckily now we never associate ourselves with them. The only person I really consider my friend is my husband. Military wives are seriously super sketchy... I thought she was my friend but all she wanted was somebody to blame and what not. She was hoping I would be willing to cheat on my husband for hers so that she could have an excuse to leave him. Sad thing was, her children were my son's friends, but then again it was a good thing since her kids were major bullies to my son. So I'm glad that friendship is over.

I have another "friend" but even she cant really be trusted. Shes the type that likes to please other people. So if she can get dirt on me to spread around she would. Like come on :/I just want some fun, non-dramatic friends who I could trust around my family. Cuase man, I dont mean to toot my horn or make my husband seem like hes the most handsome person in the world (he is to me) but these two women (my ex-friend and my current "fake friend") are hoping to one day take him from me. Funny enough, he doesnt care for other women. But still, it's very upsetting... I just want someone to like hang out with our kids and just enjoy each others company. No drama. Nothing. Maybe even play ACNL together xD

 

[Romaki]

No, I cut toxic people out of my life and I really can't pretend to be nice to someone I dislike.

 

[~Unicorn~]

.

 

[Loubelle]

I used to. I had a friend who was a compulsive liar and would lie about things that didn't matter. Along with that, she also would tell other people things I told her to keep secret, so I never felt like I could trust her. I had another friend who was super clingy and hated basically all of my friends and would get jealous if I spent time with someone else (and didn't invite her too). She would always get mad at me for things I felt were no big deal, and then blame the whole fight on me. :/ I've stopped talking to both of these people and my friends now are amazing

 

[Bcat]

I?ve always been kind of a loner and never had too many friends irl. I?ve had my fair hate of trash friends in the day, but the most recent one I stopped trying with about a year ago.

She was flaky and wouldn?t connect or respond to me. We?d be texting and having a conversation and she?s just get off right in the middle of it without an explanation and never respond to what I asked her until I texted her again about something different. (And even then she would often leave me on read)
I was always the one who had to reach out to her. In all the time I knew her she was NEVER the first one to reach out.

I kept trying to reach out to her even though she obviously wasn?t interested in this friendship. I was just lonely and wanted someone to talk to and she was the only person available at the time. Its been a year since I gave up on her and she hasn?t made any attempt to contact me again.

My advise to anyone else in a similar situation is to let them go. You shouldnt have to beg people for their attention. Friendship is a two way street and the other person needs to put in effort, not just you.

 

[Midoriya]

The sad thing is I don’t want friends now, because I know at some point or another, they are going to lie to me. I cannot have anyone near me anymore that lies to me, or I’ll go crazy. I prefer honest people I can talk to about objective things. Which is why I’ll never have any other friends than my best friend IRL, and don’t need them either.

 

[Rasha]

I "did" have such "friends" back in the day when I was basically a walking door mat, let's say those days are thankfully in the past now. I would NEVER stick the word "friend" to someone who doesn't deserve it.

 

[riummi]

not really, I don't like people who are dishonest or deceitful and who could impact me in negative ways. I mean once I see someone do something that I'm against, I start second guessing the kind of person they are (serious things like driving recklessly, shoplifting, putting others down and talking behind their backs in a negative way, etc).

 

[Croconaw]

I?ve always been kind of a loner and never had too many friends irl. I?ve had my fair hate of trash friends in the day, but the most recent one I stopped trying with about a year ago.

She was flaky and wouldn?t connect or respond to me. We?d be texting and having a conversation and she?s just get off right in the middle of it without an explanation and never respond to what I asked her until I texted her again about something different. (And even then she would often leave me on read)
I was always the one who had to reach out to her. In all the time I knew her she was NEVER the first one to reach out.

I kept trying to reach out to her even though she obviously wasn?t interested in this friendship. I was just lonely and wanted someone to talk to and she was the only person available at the time. Its been a year since I gave up on her and she hasn?t made any attempt to contact me again.

My advise to anyone else in a similar situation is to let them go. You shouldnt have to beg people for their attention. Friendship is a two way street and the other person needs to put in effort, not just you.

i can really relate to this, and I 100% agree. It is easier said than done, but sometimes you have to let people go.

 

[Chipl95]

5/6, 11:55am
Chip Lobay
I don't have the time to join Wave.
Ashley LaRochelle
5/6, 11:55am
Ashley LaRochelle
And I'm not crazy
Chip Lobay
5/6, 11:55am
Chip Lobay
If it works for you, that's fine.
Ashley LaRochelle
5/6, 11:56am
Ashley LaRochelle
U d9 have the time
Chip Lobay
5/6, 11:56am
Chip Lobay
You can join it all you want.
Ashley LaRochelle
5/6, 11:56am
Ashley LaRochelle
U just don't want to
I'm going two times a week that it
Chip Lobay
5/6, 11:56am
Chip Lobay
Just because it's working for you doesn't mean I have to join.

Ashley LaRochelle
5/6, 11:56am
Ashley LaRochelle
I have other stuff
Going on like my friend
AT THE MOMENT
It new for me never said u have to
Just asked geeze
I have other stuff
Ashley LaRochelle
5/6, 12:10pm
Ashley LaRochelle
And no I'm not bipolar
If u thinking that friend has it not me
I have bpd
It different
Bipolar worse
I always go on hardly any sleep next day when I'm there she my girl



That is one of my many examples of toxic friends. Those are old chat logs and I have since blocked her. She was my mom's old coworker and got fired. She has Autism and used it as an excuse constantly. She harassed my mom and spammed her with messages complaining about things not going her way. My mom asked her politely not to spam her with 20 messages in a one minute spam and she said "Then get rid of Facebook if you won't use it to talk!"

Ashley added me after my mom blocked her and told me she didn't mean to send a lot of messages. Then she started doing all of that to me.

For example, she would harass and badger me to join this day program she was in so she would be with me all the time. I told her I didn't want to, which should have been good enough. She didn't accept it, and then I told her I didn't have time. She said I DID have time and I just didn't want to. Then I said I was in college, and she said "How are you paying for it, mommy?" At the time, my mom was on disability and not working, so she could barely afford to keep herself afloat. Ashley knew this.

 

[Chris]

No. Where possible I cut people out of my life who I feel are toxic.

 

[Lemonsky]

Well I did have a friend who turned out to actually dislike me instead of seeing me as a friend. She acted kind towards me though so I didn't think she was bad at all before I got to hear that she had bashed me for various things behind my back, including my appearance. My other friends also mentioned that she was pretty controlling and wanted everything to go her way instead of also listening to others, but I didn't really see her like that. I was sad to see her go since she also suddenly moved into another city after a failed birthday party.

 

[buniichu]

Not really.

 

[visibleghost]

currently have a friend who's bad at respecting boundaries and is thirsty to the point that it's creepy. he's not a bad bad friend but he's kind of bad in some aspects.