Help with impulse spending

[iovis]

Hello! Recently, I've noticed that I have this habit of spending money when I'm sad. Which is often, considering I have depression. Usually, these items would make me happy to receive, but after a few days, I would lose interest. I would really like to spend less money so my wallet is happier (which, in turn, would make me happier), but I don't really know how to do that. Any tips?

 

[xanisha]

I'm so sorry to hear that.
The first thing I would do before you buy something is hold the item in your hand and ask yourself when will you use this. The second thing I would try is to have a break week so one week, you buy something for yourself (maybe a piece of candy or some lemonade) and then the next week you buy nothing even when you are sad, and if you are really sad tell yourself "next week I'm going to buy a cupcake with my lemonade". You can also try keeping a spending limit, so whenever you buy something you write the item and how much it cost down on paper (and I mean paper~ get piece of paper or tiny notebook and your favorite color of pens I find that looking at a nice color on paper helps to brighten my mood) and once you reach your spending limit you can't buy anymore items, then take a look at what you bought and ask yourself were these items worth it. I don't have issues spending but I do find it is nice to treat yourself to the little things every once in awhile to make your week a little brighter.
It also might be better to seek professional help if you are finding that your spending is becoming to much for you.

 

[sazinata]

I find that when I am in a depressive patch I'm likely to impulse buy things online, because I like having things coming in the mail, but it's always just unimportant stuff. I've found that something that really helps me is to make a list of things that I want to buy - some big things, some small things - and their prices/locations, so when I am feeling rubbish, I pick one single thing off that list, and I get both the nice feeling of having bought something, and the happiness of getting something I actually want! My list includes music on itunes, new release books, Lush products, tea, clothing, etc I know this sounds counter-productive, but it honestly helps me save money, as I'm not buying things in between and I'm only ever picking one thing off the list!

Also, if you find you impulse buy more online, then take the money out in cash, or if you spend more in person, then keep money in your bank and don't keep your card in your wallet.

Depression spending sucks, I know, and budgeting is hard even when you aren't struggling. It make take time to find something that will work for you, but you'll find something! I know pinterest has a lot of good money saving ideas as well

 

[iovis]

Thank you two for the advice! I'll definitely implement these tips. Fingers crossed that it works and I don't succumb to temptation.
It's just that when I get stuff in the mail, it's like a present. I know it's going to arrive soon (kind of like you know a holiday like Christmas or your birthday is coming up), but it feels nice to just get something.

 

[sazinata]

I definitely understand that feeling! You could also look into a cheap subscription box? That way it's a regular cost, so you can budget around it, you know you always have something to look forward to in the mail, and you get a lovely surprise when you see what's inside! My favourite boxes are tea subscriptions, but there's a wonderful sticker subscription that is very cheap and apparently full of great stickers (when I have more disposable income I'm going to get it!), there are book subscriptions and music subscriptions and makeup subscriptions and pet toy subscriptions - there's a site called cratejoy which has a bunch of different subscriptions you can search by type and where they're based!

You could also maybe look into penpals? They're a cheap way to get stuff in the mail, and you're making a friend! I personally struggle to write back quickly if I'm not already friends with them on tumblr or elsewhere, but there are sites like send-something where you sign up and just send a one-off thing to someone and people randomly send stuff to you, or sites like swap bot where you do swaps with people! It can take a little more time and energy, but it might help? And if you're just sending letters it works out a lot cheaper than ordering things online!

I don't know if either of those suggestions will be helpful, I'm only talking from personal experience and I know everyone is different, but I hope that you at least got some more ideas! Good luck, and I'm sending loads of supportive vibes!

 

[KaydeeKrunk]

I used to have a big problem with ordering things online, like, it was at a point where I would forget I bought stuff until it arrived because I bought it on a whim, like I'd see something and be like "YES I NEED THIS TO BE HAPPY!" but now I budget myself, I give myself an allowance essentially, so if I want something above the budget I have to save from the previous allowance so like, if I want something big I don't get anything for a while so I can afford it, definitely keep track of what you buy and if it doesn't make you happy when you get it you can usually send it back, don't be afraid to do that, I know I always bond with whatever instantly and have a hard time too, but it's better to get a refund then have a bunch of junk you know you wont want in a week. Right now I really wish I could buy myself stuff, but I just spent my budget money on my anniversary gifts for my boyfriend and I have to start saving for Christmas so I know I wont get to spend any money on me for a bit but it's ok because I know it will be worth it to buy stuff for other people!

 

[littletwinclouds]

i really struggle with binge spending (it's one of my bpd impulses) and i'll often do it when i'm feeling sad - my bf struggles with it too, which is great for our budget ahah

one thing we have found that helps when you have the urge to spend (especially if there's a particular item you want) is to sleep on it. wait until the next day. if you still want it then, you can go ahead and buy it. but if it's sold out, the price has gone up / it's not on sale anymore/etc, it's a sign not to get it. and often times you'll wake up and not want it anyway.

we really struggle with feeling guilty after we make impulse purchases (which leads to a bigger spiral of depression), so doing this can help with the guilt / buyer's remorse too!

good luck xx

 

[chaicow]

I go impulse shopping quite often too. I spend too much money and before I know it, all of my money is gone. I like spending money but it's bad because I also don't like wasting stuff so I try to restrain myself from binge spending. What I'd suggest is making a list of what you want to buy before you go out and buy your stuff and stick to this list. Buy nothing more and nothing less because it will make your mind think that changing the amount of stuff that you want to buy is okay. But it's not. If you don't know what you want to buy, check your closet or your pantry for what you really need and make your list based off of that. In addition to making a list, you should set a budget. If the amount stuff that you want to buy exceeds the budget, think to yourself what do I really need and don't buy the stuff that you don't really need. If you always find yourself overspending with a budget and a list, only bring a certain amount of money with you when you go shopping so that you can't spend more than you should. These things have helped me a lot in fixing my bad spending habits and I wish you good luck.

 

[mayortiffany]

I'm not sure if you shop online or in stores, but I think this tip would help either way. Especially when considering more expensive items, simply walk away for them in store. You could ask the store to put it on hold for you if they do that, but let yourself do a couple circles around the mall or even go home. Since you have to go back to the store to buy the item, you'll have to think about whether or not you really do want it.

Only going to the store with enough cash to buy what you need could be another way to go. Online shopping is definitely more difficult, but as someone said earlier in this thread, buying a cheap subscription box subscription with items that you're interested in could be the way to go. Good luck!

 

[skarmoury]

I used to impulse buy too, then I realized quickly that I'm spending my food money on other things and I'd starve if I exhausted my allowance for the week lol.
Anyway aaaa having depression sucks! But I understand where you're coming from. When I get sad or stressed bc of schoolwork, orgwork, or idk my social life or anxiety, I'd just go window shopping and look at cute items for sale while trying to think to myself how useless they'd be if I actually bought them. Or I'd whisper 'no' whenever I get the impusle and immediately walk away from the item to look at more stuff. If you really want to buy though, I recommend cheap ones that still make you happy. I usually buy stickers when I'm sad, but I once bought a Lego of Capt. America (roughly 2 dollars) after a terrible exam, and my uncle bought me a sewn bunny plush another time (around 4 dollars) when I was super stressed and just came from a breakdown.
Hope this helps, sending happy thoughts and good vibes your way! <3

 

[Tobiume]

What I like to do when I really want to buy something I don't need is distract myself. Doesn't matter what the distraction is - water the plants, read a book, do some schoolwork - anything. You could probably even use a program to block your computer from accessing those sites you scroll through frequently looking for stuff to buy (assuming this is an online habit!)

Good luck!

 

[Munyo]

I'm in a pool of anxiety and I bought a whole bunch of amiibo stuff just so I can spend some time not thinking about what happened.
What I like to do is to make a list beforehand. Plan what you want to buy 6 months before.

I usually plan out what clothes and makeup to buy. I have an entire list of makeup to buy and a whole bunch of clothes that I want. If you can, bookmark them on Chrome or any browser you're using. When you have that feeling to buy, go back to your list or bookmark to buy them or think about it.

 

[Arlo]

I have the same issue, I have BPD and impulse spending is a huge vice of mine.

What I've started doing is putting things in my shopping cart for a week, and buying it if I STILL want it then. I will only immediately buy necessary things or things under ?1.

 

[Nodokana]

Not sure if my tips are helpful but it's worth a shot... Bring only a few dollars with you to prevent you from buying so much stuff. Perhaps buy your favorite snack or something? Also window shopping with friends and family is a great way to have fun and bond with others. If you're into acnl maybe direct you me impulsive buying towards that and thus not losing real life money you know? I hope it helps and good luck.

 

[kayleee]

This is literally me I always spend money when I'm sad to make me happy and usually it doesn't work. Honestly the way I combat this is I still buy the thing that I want, but then I just return it a few days later. So I get the joy of buying something and then the joy of getting money back when I return it haha. So I would say whatever you buy, if you don't wear/use it within the next 3 days or whatever then return it. Hopefully that is helpful

 

[PurpleLutari]

depending on how you get money, can you perhaps put a hold on how you get it? like if it's a work payment or something similar your bank might want to help you!

for example when i get paid for work, it'll go into my savings. i cannot touch my savings when i am out because of the type of card i have - it's designed for reckess teenagers, essentially i need to either transfer it from my bank using my home PC or I need to physically go into my bank - both of those are a deterrent!
PC because I'd have to walk/bus home and the 'omg shiny' will have most likely worn off by then, going in to my bank because anxiety >.>

 

[LinkToTheWorld]

I used to do similar, then I'd end up feeling even worse a few days later when the money was added on to my bank account.
I found it helped me to remove money from my bank and put it in my safe. Just because I don't go out very much so I'm unlikely to go spending in any actual shops. That might not work for you of course. But it might also help to have something to aim for. Is there something you would really like to buy? Or something you need? Maybe get yourself to think that you're saving for whatever item that is. You have something to look forward to and might even get the same satisfaction from seeing how much you can save?
Just an idea of course

 

[Piezahummy]

Having a goal .
Look for something extremely expensive that you want to buy , and start saving . This will keep you from buying other stuff you don't need .
It's temporary though .