Homewreckers and Cheaters

[Corrie]

Cheating should NEVER be forgiven. EVER. I can't imagine why someone would continue to want to be with a person who cheated on them.

As for remaining friends, I probably would but I wouldn't be happy with them and probably wouldn't talk to them as friendly as usual. I'd definitely try to get proof of them cheating to show their partner. Cheaters never win.

 

[-Katze-]

They are both over 30 years old (around 35), and they had their child maybe 5 years ago. It's not a matter of having married too early, but rather that the cheating person no longer loves her husband but refuses to end the relationship because he supports her. They even make fun of the cheating guy's wife, and call her fat, so it's a case of simple being *ss****s. And keep in mind that the husband is also one of my sister's best friends. And from the stories my sister has told me about this girl, she isn't a good friend to begin with.

When you say they, do you mean your sister's also making fun of her? Your sister's either bad at judging someone's character, or she enjoy's that person's company so much that she's willing to disregard her actions. They both sound like poisonous people. At best, I would tolerate someone like that.

 

[UglyMonsterFace]

But the thing I think my sister is doing wrong, was not telling her other friend (the husband) what was going on, when she knew for a while that this was happening. If anything, her loyalty should be to the guy, and not the girl. I don't understand why she was protecting her.. But that's my opinion.. I try not to be judgmental about it, but that's hard not to do about that particular thing.

- - - Post Merge - - -

When you say they, do you mean your sister's also making fun of her? Your sister's either bad at judging someone's character, or she enjoy's that person's company so much that she's willing to disregard her actions. They both sound like poisonous people. At best, I would tolerate someone like that.

Sorry, I should have clarified. It is the cheating couple that makes fun of the other guy's wife. So the cheating husband, and the cheating wife. Not my sister. My sister knows this person is wrong, but doesn't feel like it is bad enough to merit either A) losing her friendship or B) divorce. Like I stated in the second half, she thinks that cheating must be forgiven.

 

[Hopeless Opus]

lmaoo only if it was one of my best friends i would stay friends with them, but even then i wouldn't be able to look at them in the same respectable light. if you cheat you are scum. the only exception to a homewrecker is if the homewrecker genuinely didn't know there was a home he/she was wrecking (didn't know that their partner already had a partner previously)

 

[Corrie]

But the thing I think my sister is doing wrong, was not telling her other friend (the husband) what was going on, when she knew for a while that this was happening. If anything, her loyalty should be to the guy, and not the girl. I don't understand why she was protecting her.. But that's my opinion.. I try not to be judgmental about it, but that's hard not to do about that particular thing

Yeah, that's awful. Doesn't matter who is cheating. For example, I love my brother, but if I found out he was cheating on his partner, I'd without a doubt tell his partner and do my best to prove it. No one deserves to get cheated on.

 

[UglyMonsterFace]

Yeah, that's awful. Doesn't matter who is cheating. For example, I love my brother, but if I found out he was cheating on his partner, I'd without a doubt tell his partner and do my best to prove it. No one deserves to get cheated on.

Yeah. I would first implore my friend to tell their partner and come clean. If they refuse, then I will be obligated to tell them myself. I would expect the same if it were happening to me.

- - - Post Merge - - -

lmaoo only if it was one of my best friends i would stay friends with them, but even then i wouldn't be able to look at them in the same respectable light. if you cheat you are scum. the only exception to a homewrecker is if the homewrecker genuinely didn't know there was a home he/she was wrecking (didn't know that their partner already had a partner previously)

Exactly. Although I wouldn't call someone who was ignorant of their partner being in a relationship a home wrecker. They are just as much a victim in that scenario.

 

[Corrie]

Yeah. I would first implore my friend to tell their partner and come clean. If they refuse, then I will be obligated to tell them myself. I would expect the same if it were happening to me.

And if they try to guilt you with the ever so lame "it's none of your business!" then tell them to not be such a douchebag and you wouldn't have to get in their business.

 

[Hopeless Opus]

Exactly. Although I wouldn't call someone who was ignorant of their partner being in a relationship a home wrecker. They are just as much a victim in that scenario.

yeah but they're still kinda technically homewrecking even if they're the victim

 

[moonford]

No, if a person has cheated on their significant other once they will probably do it again, once a cheater, always a cheater and that isn't the type of person I would like to associate myself with. Trust, loyalty and honesty are really important to me so if someone has disgraced any of these things I would disown or reject them, even if they were my best friend because if they are willing to do such a thing to someone they "love" then why should I still be friends with them/ befriend them when they could do something just as horrible to me?

Cheating on someone makes you a horrible person, no matter the situation and I would make the person tell their significant other if they cheated but if they didn't tell their significant other I would happily tell them, because it makes me a good person and an honest person unlike that human filth.

Cheaters hurt a lot of people when they commit their adultery and can devastate the person they were/are with and harm others in the process, e.g the person they tell, the person they do it with (they could be unaware and fail really guilty) and so on.

Flat out human scum!

 

[-Katze-]

But the thing I think my sister is doing wrong, was not telling her other friend (the husband) what was going on, when she knew for a while that this was happening. If anything, her loyalty should be to the guy, and not the girl. I don't understand why she was protecting her.. But that's my opinion.. I try not to be judgmental about it, but that's hard not to do about that particular thing.

Eh, she just doesn't want to get in the middle of it. I could understand staying out of relationship drama if they were just acquaintances, but they're close friends. I know she's your sister, but I would be wary of her if I were you. I definitely wouldn't put my sister in any kind of situation where she could screw me over.

Sorry, I should have clarified. It is the cheating couple that makes fun of the other guy's wife. So the cheating husband, and the cheating wife. Not my sister. My sister knows this person is wrong, but doesn't feel like it is bad enough to merit either A) losing her friendship or B) divorce. Like I stated in the second half, she thinks that cheating must be forgiven.

I feel really bad for the guy getting screwed over. The woman can just take take the kids and half the guy's stuff to get back at him, but the guy's probably going to lose everything that matters to him. If it was me, I'd tell him to contact a lawyer and look into ways he can protect his assets.

 

[UglyMonsterFace]

I feel really bad for the guy getting screwed over. The woman can just take take the kids and half the guy's stuff to get back at him, but the guy's probably going to lose everything that matters to him. If it was me, I'd tell him to contact a lawyer and look into ways he can protect his assets.

I believe the guy already knows about this, but is trying to work things out for the sake of their kid. (I don't know them that well, so I don't know the situation right now - this was told to me during Christmas/New Years, so maybe something has changed). He also doesn't want to do anything to embarrass his wife and ruin her reputation. Ugh, such a caring guy, it makes me even more mad.

 

[moonford]

I believe the guy already knows about this, but is trying to work things out for the sake of their kid. (I don't know them that well, so I don't know the situation right now - this was told to me during Christmas/New Years, so maybe something has changed). He also doesn't want to do anything to embarrass his wife and ruin her reputation. Ugh, such a caring guy, it makes me even more mad.

That's another thing that bothers me, the person they are cheating on could be the nicest, caring, gentle soul and they just go ahead and take that for granted, it makes me really sad.

I feel so much sorrow for that guy and the kid too, this whole situation is disgusting and tearful. She's vile.

 

[UglyMonsterFace]

That's another thing that bothers me, the person they are cheating on could be the nicest, caring, gentle soul and they just go ahead and take that for granted, it makes me really sad.

I feel so much sorrow for that guy and the kid too, this whole situation is disgusting and tearful. She's vile.

I agree with you She also would put my sister down in small ways, so I never actually liked her in the first place, but this is just disgusting to me. The poor kid, especially. I've taken care of her before and she is such a sweet child.. This will really hurt her.

 

[moonford]

I agree with you She also would put my sister down in small ways, so I never actually liked her in the first place, but this is just disgusting to me. The poor kid, especially. I've taken care of her before and she is such a sweet child.. This will really hurt her.

Wait a second...so to top it all off she puts your sister down too? Wtf, she really is a terrible person! Rahr.

 

[UglyMonsterFace]

Wait a second...so to top it all off she puts your sister down too? Wtf, she really is a terrible person! Rahr.

Yes! Exactly why I don't see this person as redeemable or worthy of my sister's friendship (or her own family's love)

 

[moonford]

I really don't know what to say, I would hire Lady Gaga to swing that cretin around by the legs like the way she swings that microphone.

 

[Pretty Dead Boy]

The moment you cheat on your partner is the moment you lose relational/martial credibility. Being married and having children while you cheat on someone else's partner affects other people. It'll be difficult for the spouse and children to expect their cheating husband/father to care about them or support them if their sleazing around behind their back. Trust's a mirror: once it shatters, it'll never be the same and all those little broken pieces will reflect back at you.

 

[UglyMonsterFace]

I really don't know what to say, I would hire Lady Gaga to swing that cretin around by the legs like the way she swings that microphone.

Lol! Please do I'll chip in some money just to make this happen.

 

[Aniko]

No, if a person has cheated on their significant other once they will probably do it again, once a cheater, always a cheater and that isn't the type of person I would like to associate myself with. Trust, loyalty and honesty are really important to me so if someone has disgraced any of these things I would disown or reject them, even if they were my best friend because if they are willing to do such a thing to someone they "love" then why should I still be friends with them/ befriend them when they could do something just as horrible to me?

Cheating on someone makes you a horrible person, no matter the situation and I would make the person tell their significant other if they cheated but if they didn't tell their significant other I would happily tell them, because it makes me a good person and an honest person unlike that human filth.

Cheaters hurt a lot of people when they commit their adultery and can devastate the person they were/are with and harm others in the process, e.g the person they tell, the person they do it with (they could be unaware and fail really guilty) and so on.

Flat out human scum!

But you know, even if you think you are a good person for telling the person cheated, the truth, they might not think the same of you. You may be caught in some drama and accused by the cheated person of wanting to destroy their marriage, of lying, of being jealous of them and you might be the one rejected by everybody in the end for being a meddler. In life nothing is white or black and your own morality may not be shared by everybody, just keep that in mind.

I know a person who was like you, with very low tolerance about cheating and she ended up being the cheater and the homewrecker lol. Of course she hated herself to death for that, but everything ended up well in the end, the cheated wife/BF found other partners with whom they are happier now and the cheaters are happily married together now for years and have kids and don't cheat anymore (well they didn't cheat long anyway).

 

[moonford]

But you know, even if you think you are a good person for telling the person cheated, the truth, they might not think the same of you. You may be caught in some drama and accused by the cheated person of wanting to destroy their marriage, of lying, of being jealous of them and you might be the one rejected by everybody in the end for being a meddler. In life nothing is white or black and your own morality may not be shared by everybody, just keep that in mind.

I know a person who was like you, with very low tolerance about cheating and she ended up being the cheater and the homewrecker lol. Of course she hated herself to death for that, but everything ended up well in the end, the cheated wife/BF found other partners with whom they are happier now and the cheaters are happily married together now for years and have kids and don't cheat anymore (well they didn't cheat long anyway).

I would ensure them that they can trust me before I spew the truth, I always think about what I do and telling their significant other would be the last resort for me so it shouldn't come to that and I would definitely have evidence before I tell something like that so I wouldn't be seen as liar or a meddler, my friends know who I am and what I'm like so they know they can trust me. I'm asexual and aromantic so accusations of jealously shouldn't be an issue and my friends would know my sexual orientation and feelings about relationships. If it came to me being rejected for telling the truth and being what I would consider to be a good friend, I would realise that I'm better of without them and they weren't worth my time in the first place.

I have very low tolerance for cheaters, liars and disloyal people, I'm also not keen on people who think I'm a liar or a meddler so I wouldn't be friends with them because they don't truly know my morals and like I said before they weren't worth befriending in the first place.