how do you deal with a bad breakup ?

[arikins]

well, i just broke up with my boyfriend today. just wanna know how i can get through it as it was my first relationship. looking forward to hearing all of your stories !

 

[Stikki]

I suppose the only thing I can tell you is that one day you won't feel the same as you do now. People rarely stay with the person from their very first relationship for life, especially if they're very young. You change as a person so much over the years, that it's highly unlikely to go the distance. Even marriages that last many many years aren't always happy, so breaking up doesn't always have to be a negative thing, just that your paths have changed, so you're taking a new route now. Just take this as an experience and look forward to new chapters. It'll all be ok.

 

[arikins]

I suppose the only thing I can tell you is that one day you won't feel the same as you do now. People rarely stay with the person from their very first relationship for life, especially if they're very young. You change as a person so much over the years, that it's highly unlikely to go the distance. Even marriages that last many many years aren't always happy, so breaking up doesn't always have to be a negative thing, just that your paths have changed, so you're taking a new route now. Just take this as an experience and look forward to new chapters. It'll all be ok.

yes, i suppose thats true. and the reason for the breakup were very legitimate. even tho im tempted to say some things are okay just so i can be with him, i know i wont feel any better. i think this is the best choice even though it hurts

 

[Neb]

I completely know how you feel. I dealt with a bad breakup several months ago and had to learn a lot of coping skills. Like Stikky said, you will eventually feel better. Here are some tips that helped me:

1. Don’t look at their social media or any of their profiles. Seeing how they’re doing can be very distressing, especially if they got over the relationship quickly. When the urge to check up comes go and do something else.

2. Reach out to your friends. Even if you weren’t isolated from your friends like I was it’s still important to stay in touch. Having their company can help tremendously. If you can try to set up hang outs with them. In situations like this, texting by itself isn’t enough.

3. Do the things that make you happy. Pursue your hobbies and try to make the most of them. If you have a creative hobby like writing or drawing, try to use them as an outlet for any strong emotions.

4. Take as much time as you need to recover. Bad breakups can make you feel closed off. Don’t feel guilty if you need to spend a few days or weeks by yourself.

I hope at least one of these tips help. Just remember you will get through this!

 

[arikins]

I completely know how you feel. I dealt with a bad breakup several months ago and had to learn a lot of coping skills. Like Stikky said, you will eventually feel better. Here are some tips that helped me:

1. Don’t look at their social media or any of their profiles. Seeing how they’re doing can be very distressing, especially if they got over the relationship quickly. When the urge to check up comes go and do something else.

2. Reach out to your friends. Even if you weren’t isolated from your friends like I was it’s still important to stay in touch. Having their company can help tremendously. If you can try to set up hang outs with them. In situations like this, texting by itself isn’t enough.

3. Do the things that make you happy. Pursue your hobbies and try to make the most of them. If you have a creative hobby like writing or drawing, try to use them as an outlet for any strong emotions.

4. Take as much time as you need to recover. Bad breakups can make you feel closed off. Don’t feel guilty if you need to spend a few days or weeks by yourself.

I hope at least one of these tips help. Just remember you will get through this!

thank you. my situation at home is really complicated, so reaching out to friends isnt an option for me. i do have tons of creative hobbies, but in times like these i have no motivation to pursue them.

we may figure something out, but im not sure. i just want to get out of this as quick as i can. i feel so sick

im also glad you were to get out of yours. it sounds like the relationship isolated you ? while i cant say the same for myself, i went through tons of /bad/ stuff with my person. i hope i can get out of it the same way you did

 

[jiny]

i dont have any advice sadly, im going through a breakup too atm. we broke up in june and i still havent gotten over it, but i wish you the best and im sorry you're going through this. just know the pain will pass soon, if you ever need to talk to someone about it im here if any

 

[arikins]

i dont have any advice sadly, im going through a breakup too atm. we broke up in june and i still havent gotten over it, but i wish you the best and im sorry you're going through this. just know the pain will pass soon, if you ever need to talk to someone about it im here if any

dont worry, i dont have much advice for you either lol. im still young and know jack about relationships. theyre hard, especially if theyre serious, is all i can say.

i hope we can both get past this soon <3

 

[Croconaw]

I’m sorry you’re going through this. Breakups are hard in the moment, but time heals. The way you feel now will not be how you feel a week from now. The way you feel a week from now won’t be how you feel a month from now.

I don’t have any advice other than you’ll feel better with time. In time you will learn how to live without the person. Whenever you lose something or someone, there will always be a part of you that is missing. You’ll feel empty and you won’t have something to fill that void, but you learn to be happy even with that void.

Your first relationship is always the hardest because it’s new to you. You come into the relationship not knowing what to expect. Breakups are something we all go through but we have to go through them to become stronger as a person. We experience these things not because we are weak, but because we are strong enough to deal with them.

Never change yourself to get someone to like you. You’ll never be happy this way. You’ll attract the wrong types of people. If you just be yourself, you will attract people who share your energy. You will attract people who genuinely like your authentic self.

 

[arikins]

I’m sorry you’re going through this. Breakups are hard in the moment, but time heals. The way you feel now will not be how you feel a week from now. The way you feel a week from now won’t be how you feel a month from now.

I don’t have any advice other than you’ll feel better with time. In time you will learn how to live without the person. Whenever you lose something or someone, there will always be a part of you that is missing. You’ll feel empty and you won’t have something to fill that void, but you learn to be happy even with that void.

Your first relationship is always the hardest because it’s new to you. You come into the relationship not knowing what to expect. Breakups are something we all go through but we have to go through them to become stronger as a person. We experience these things not because we are weak, but because we are strong enough to deal with them.

Never change yourself to get someone to like you. You’ll never be happy this way. You’ll attract the wrong types of people. If you just be yourself, you will attract people who share your energy. You will attract people who genuinely like your authentic self.

thank you, these are definitely good things to take into my future relationships. symptoms of BPD are a problem of mine (i cannot be officially diagnosed due to being a minor) and getting my identity lost in someone has always been a struggle. just have to keep working on strong boundaries and a foundation within myself.

thank you for taking the time to reply. it makes my heart warm. thank you <3