How do you deal with adult babies?

[boujee]

You usually expect elders to be much wiser you or to look to them for guidance.

But sometimes that doesn't apply to all. How do you deal with a adult that behaves like they're still 14 and is still in their petty phase? This can be a friend, mom, dad, etc

 

[Meligion]

I ****ing ***** them out in my head and come up with **** but then I keep my mouth shut and I'm like all weird both my mom and dad are like this and it's soooo annoying

 

[Sugilite]

I know who this is towards

Take note so you don't grow up like them. People need to make examples for others lol

 

[amanda1983]

I work with children and I understand how they think and process information perfectly well. Nothing fazes me. Children are learning about themselves, others, and the world around them, which is all a lot to take in and understand. But they're working on it, from day one.

A chronological adult who never mastered the basics, on the other hand, baffles me. They aren't trying to understand anything, learn, grow, mature.. they somehow assume that everyone else should adapt to, and for, them. That kind of egocentric mentality makes sense in a child or even very early 20s, but it's ****ing weird to find in an adult. As good as I am with actual children, or interacting with people who have different issues in general.. the petty, selfish adult is beyond my skills or inclination to put up with.

I deal with those petty adults in a variety of ways, depending on how much I need to interact with them. Above all else though, I try to minimise my contact, as I've learned through bitter experience that l do not cope well with these people. You can't help someone who doesn't want help, they won't change unless they decide to change - and actually put in the hard work required to do so. Growing up is hard.

If someone made it to being a nominal adult without learning all those things one needs to know to be a functioning adult who can take care of themselves.. then they'll either have to do the hard work later, or (more likely, I'm afraid) spend their life relying on others to carry them. Not support. Carry. Every single time the hit the limit of their mental and/or emotional maturity, other people will be expected to step up and work things out. No matter how obvious it may be to everyone, this person will ignore all advice, all offers of help, and just drift along til the next crisis.

And they *love* drama. Things are dreadful or they are wonderful. You are their close, trusted friend or an enemy. Where this makes complete sense in a child, as the brain forms deeper understanding of complex human behaviours... in an adult, it's a clear sign they need help ASAP. And to be far, far away from me in the interim. This includes family members.

 

[boujee]

Bump

 

[Nicole.]

It's easy to ignore

 

[boujee]

What if the adult baby did something they should be accounted for but instead but out all their frustration and blame on you? And when you tried to reason with them they refuse clarification?

 

[Liamslash]

Just ignore them and forget

 

[namiieco]

tbh ive never really come across someone like that

 

[oath2order]

This was not the direction I thought this thread would take

 

[Soda Fox]

To answer the first post - as soon as I identify a person like that I keep them out of my life as much as possible. Even if they're a family member. I'm lucky enough to no longer live at home, and is part of the reason I left home as soon as I could.

I only deal with people like this as much as I have to, although depending on the situation, like if they're a client of mine, I'll coddle them. Sometimes that's not even enough and if that's the case, I meet with my fellow associates and we decide whether the person in question is worth the headache and act accordingly.

What if the adult baby did something they should be accounted for but instead but out all their frustration and blame on you? And when you tried to reason with them they refuse clarification?

Depending on the situation, I would fix what I felt needed to be fixed to keep my own live and reputation in tact, but aside from that, I don't really care what happens. If the adult baby gets themselves kicked out of their house, or blows all their paycheck on something stupid, I'm not going to bother helping them even if they think it's my fault. If the baby starts spreading a rumor about me, I'll try to set that rumor to right and continue not talking to the adult baby.

 

[Buttonsy]

In general I'm pretty grossed out by the term "adult baby" or "man child" because of the fact that many people literally use that kind of language to describe Autistic adults which is gross as heck but ignoring that

I just try to avoid as much contact as possible with immature/annoying adults, don't talk to them, don't engage, don't listen.

 

[Rabirin]

TBH, being the person iam i'll probably just be really passive about it. Most likely i'll ignore their behaviour and take no note of it. I'm not really one for confrontation. Even so, i've never really come across an adult who's like this. Most of the adults i'm surronded by are quite mature and aren't petty.

 

[Gregriii]

With a pack of diapers

 

[Miii]

Avoid them like the plague because if they're that far into adulthood and haven't grown up, they're not going to.

 

[Corrie]

My mom is one of these adults. She has a job and a house and can function in society to make a living, however she fails socially and it hits really hard in my family.

She has no friends and has **** to say about everyone she meets. She only likes you if you do what she says and if you don't, there is apparently something wrong with you. When I was 14, she tried to send me to therapy because I refused to straighten my hair like she wanted. She only likes my sister because she does what my mom tells her too. I refuse to so she can't stand me.

After fighting with her over basically anything, I have decided to give up because she won't change her mind or try to fix our broken relationship. So I minimalize contact. Only talk to her when needed. She'll forever be judging and unhappy and I refuse to be there for it.

It makes me feel bad cause she needs help but refuses it. It is all our fault in her eyes. She has extreme low self esteem and acts as if she is in grade 9, trying to impress everyone, meanwhile nobody gives a damn. She cares so much about what other people think that she paid 2k to get our front steps done because the old ones "looked bad to other people." Oh yeah, she claims we are poor btw, cause of me and my siblings. Lel

 

[FleuraBelle]

My grandma is kinda like this.
Sometimes I talk back to her because she can say some mean things and deny she said it. She accusses a lot but the best thing to do is to just walk away and keep the peace. You can't change someone who doesn't wanna change

 

[Red Cat]

This can be a friend, mom, dad, etc

Or possibly the president of your country.

 

[Bwazey]

Ignoring them is for the best. Since they're still 14 mentally, they crave attention. Taking that away from them might help them mature.

hopefully

 

[Tao]

I feel I was mislead by the thread title.