How do you deal with adult babies?

[boujee]

I feel I was mislead by the thread title.

Good

 

[vel]

i was going to suggest buying diapers but that isn't the case. i have never dealt with adult babies, but they seem annoying. i don't really have a good way to deal with them if i do encounter them, i'd just try not to.

 

[strawberrigod]

I don't enable them or give them a chance to take advantage of me. I keep myself very distanced and guarded because I'm well aware of their intentions. If they've wronged you honestly it sucks and feels bad, but at least you know their nature and can avoid them doing it again. I have a family member that acts like an adult baby and in some ways it helps motivate me to never become that type of person.

 

[guardgirl]

my mom is like this. shes over the age of 40 and still lives in her mothers garage. everything everyone else does is wrong, she is the godsend, the end all be all, and such a special snowflake. the only thing she owns is her cell phone and her car. she doesnt help with the house payments or help out around the house. she doesnt cook or do her own laundry and barely ever buys groceries. my grandma went with me to register for classes for my first year of college because it was bigger and just sort of scary because i have really bad social anxiety due to always tending to her needs instead of being able to go out and do my own thing, and she yelled at my grandma for "holding my hand." i registered for myself and did everything myself, all my grandma did was sit with me at the table. my mom threw the fit literally a month after /I/ filed her taxes for her because she doesnt know how. she failed out of college and has an entry level job. she works alongside my 17 year old friends. i wont keep in contact with her much after i move into a university.

these people are very stressful, and usually super condescending. its really sad because more often than not, its someone you truly care about. in my case, its my mom. i love her very much because shes my mother, but she is very toxic to me, and it will be best for the both of us when i leave. its really hard, but you need to separate yourself from these people. they only want to bring you down with them.

 

[amanda1983]

I don't enable them or give them a chance to take advantage of me. I keep myself very distanced and guarded because I'm well aware of their intentions. If they've wronged you honestly it sucks and feels bad, but at least you know their nature and can avoid them doing it again. I have a family member that acts like an adult baby and in some ways it helps motivate me to never become that type of person.

An excellent point! If they offer nothing else, at least they provide ample incentive to be a better person yourself. I've had more than a few toxic adults in my life, some I couldn't get get away from until I was an adult myself. They have always motivated me to do lern better, do better, be better. Because I never wanted to be so helpless and maladjusted to life as an adult, after seeing examples of what happens next.

It's not much consolation in the midst of stressful times dealing with a toxic adult. But it does get better, because you will learn better coping strategies to get you through the bad stuff, *and* be seeing first hand why improving yourself is so important.. so you don't become an eternal toddler.

- no wait, that's not fair. Toddlers make sense. And grow up. Maybe... so you don't be thought of as an eternal toddler. That works better I guess; I'm really not fond of referring to babies and toddlers in a negative way as those are just normal stages of development everyone (hopefully) passes through. Pedantic, me? Yes. Just a tad.

 

[Sanaki]

i just stay away from tumblr

 

[maplecheek]

It is especially hard when it's a relative, or an in-law, or a co-parent that you have to work with and cannot simply ignore. My advice is to not take their behavior or anything they do or say personally or to heart, and to understand that you cannot change them. Change always comes from the individual themselves, from within. Do the best you can to take care of your own health and mental wellness. If you have to interact with them, teach yourself to become immune to their drama. It may seem impossible, but you can change yourself so you don't react with pain. It just takes a TON of effort. At a certain point, you may realize you just have to leave. But if not, time does improve those who improve themselves.

 

[Xara]

My father is an adult baby.
He's been a bit better the last couple of days, but I'm not getting my hopes up.
Whenever he acts like a child, I honestly get really upset and I'll yell at him which results in a full blown argument.

 

[Watchingthetreetops]

The only time it's difficult to deal with something like this, is when you work with said 'adult babies'. In that scenario, the best thing to do is ignore the situation. Just don't talk much to the person beyond 'hello' 'the weather's good/bad, (depending on the weather that day), and 'good bye'. People who don't want to learn, don't want OTHERS to learn, either, in most cases.

- - - Post Merge - - -

i just stay away from tumblr

Best advice in the world, honestly

 

[ams]

I know the type and treating them like children is pretty effective. Phrases like "use your words" come in handy.

 

[Tensu]

use this site as practice xD


But seriously just treat them like babies if that's really how they're acting.

 

[PrincessApple]

I think the way (If I ever met an adult baby) I would go along with adult babies is too just listen to them but not pay attention to a word theyre saying and then ignore them. I'm easily distracted anyway so maybe it won't be hard for me to not remember what they were babying about

 

[treetops]

I just ignore them. I know those sort of people can get annoying, but you're not doing much better by stooping down to their level.

I don't ever have people who seek me for guidance though, but that's because I don't have many close friends... does that make me an adult baby? :/

 

[riummi]

My mom acts like this a lot but uh i can't say anything because that's "talking back" and usually ends with me getting slapped lol
I just cringe whenever my mom acts like a kid towards my dad

 

[maplecheek]

What if the adult baby did something they should be accounted for but instead but out all their frustration and blame on you? And when you tried to reason with them they refuse clarification?

So this is probably repetitive but I didn't see this question before I answered already. I agree with and reiterate what amanda1983 said on the first page.

I have known people like the "adult baby", and normal adults can sometimes act a little bit like that to some degree. There is no point in trying to reason with them. They are not receptive of it and project their stuff onto others. They probably have narcissistic personality problems. It is not the same as reasoning/teaching a child, because they are not, like the person above said, learning or developing, but they are stuck inside a personality disorder. You cannot win by trying to get them to see the truth or your position because it is not possible. Just make sure you are taking care of yourself, and don't hold on to anger or resentment, because it will only make you sick and unhappy. Don't concern yourself with what the problematic adult thinks.

I once lived with someone who blamed everything and everyone but themselves for their misery, and consciously and unconsciously tried to drag the lives of those around them down into similar destitution. She was a sweet person sometimes, but very toxic, and had incredibly fraught relationships with her children, many of whom suffered terribly, made their own mistakes, and inherited similar mental illness. She created difficulties and dramas and she was the innocent hero of all these stories. It wasn't conscious. It was as if she were a force, and you can't reason with a force. Helping them is sometimes just enabling them to continue their cycle of unhealthiness.

Expecting someone like that to do the right thing, realize their mistakes, do right by you, or give you what you think they should give you will make things worse. Don't bother standing up to them. Stand up for yourself in your own life. If you can't do much yet, work towards your independence, protect your self-worth. I am learning how to do this myself. It's a tough job. Don't give up.

 

[LinkToTheWorld]

Oh I deal with people similar to that all the time. I work with children and sadly some of the other peop who work with them never actually progressed much further themselves. You find a lot of people like that throughout life. Just try and keep the peace as best you can, avoid them if and where possible. Isn't any need to get worked up about it, like I said, you will be meeting people like it your whole life in different areas of work and what not. I even meet some of them on the roads. Grown adults having major tantrums over something minor....

 

[LunarMako]

I had an adult baby in my life. They got in a fight with me over something stupid, it wasn't my fight, it should have been his fight and my other roommates fight. Hes no longer in my life. So how I deal with adult babies? Get rid of them!