How do you deal with confrontation?

[Croconaw]

I’m just wondering how you personally deal with confrontation? It could be at work, school, or even in general. I personally tend to avoid confrontation in real life. I think dealing with it online is much easier because there isn’t any physical aspect that could result from it, like an actual fight.

I try to avoid confrontation because I’m honestly an extremely sensitive person and I’ll take offense for the smallest things. I sometimes wish I had thicker skin, but I don’t.

Do you deal well with confrontation, or do you typically tend to avoid it?

 

[Shawna]

I am the same why. The slightest nag (if it's even called that) will send me spiraling into a bad mood for a while. If someone yells at me, I cry.

Sadly, there is really no way to avoid confrontation. You can do your part to not be the one to start it, but people will always have their reasons.

 

[Chris]

I'm a big believer in picking your battles strategically. If a situation necessitates something being said, or someone comes to me first and their concern appears worthy of a response, then I'll tackle it head on as calmly and politely as possible - even if the other person is insulting me or swearing at me. If I know that whatever I say is not going to change this person's mind and they're just looking for an excuse to fight or shout me down then I won't entertain them.

 

[Midoriya]

I have a variety of different ways to deal with it. I’m a really kind person who is thoughtful of others, so most of the time no one will ever confront me like that. If someone does, however, I either ignore it if it’s not serious enough, say something back if the situation warrants it, or if I have to fight I will. I’ve been doing martial arts for fourteen years now and I’ve been in a fight before, so I’m not afraid to defend myself or someone else if I have to. My main hope is that it never has to come to that though. A lot of things can be resolved just through talking them out.

 

[Stella-Io]

Ahahaha I don't. I avoid confrontation unless necessary. If it's somethin 'simple' that requires me to be the bigger person or somethin that can be easily dropped, I do that. But if it's constant and persistent, then I say somethin, and sometimes I got alot to say. If that STILL doesn't work then I tell a higher up. I don't want to do this cause, for me, it's such a 'kid' thing to do, being unable to handle the situation yourself, but sometimes it's needed. Especially if the other person keeps being ignorant or acts immature and can't settle/have a conversation like an adult.

 

[cornimer]

I usually freeze up and cry because that's one of the things my anxiety makes me unable to handle. It's happened at work multiple times but thankfully my boss is very understanding.

 

[Autumn247]

I avoid confrontation at all costs. I’m extremely sensitive and get upset easily, cry. I have an anxiety disorder

 

[justina]

I try to avoid it as much as I can. At work if a customer gets out of hand, I almost always get a manager because I’m afraid to confront them myself. I could never be a manager of anything because I’d never be able to confront some of those people..

 

[Nicole.]

Much like you, I avoid it best as possible. I can't stand to face the sheer awkwardness and I'm not one to really voice my opinion anyway.

 

[SkyKnight03]

I'm not confrontational at all. 99% of things I ignore. There have been a couple instances though where I've felt like I was going to be harmed physically and fighting back came out instinctively.

For example a senior at my highschool was showing off his to his friends and was picking on me in the cafeteria. Something registered "he's doing this to harm me, not tease me" and without thinking I went into a fighting stance. a teacher stopped it anyways.

 

[Pyoopi]

I try to refrain doing it until I absolutely must. It's a mixture of discomfort and that I'm a really blunt person where I'm scared I'll come off pretty abrasive.

It takes a lot of prep for me to refine the moment because I want to be aware of the other person's feelings regardless if I like them or not.

In person I'm a lot better with confrontations although my voice still shakes but I've done it enough times especially in my line of work. Online, is strangely harder because you lose the tone of voice and therefore I sound more harsh (which I don't want).

 

[Dunquixote]

I am not confrontational at all usually. If it is an online issue and a bunch of other people are having the same issue as me, I will speak up and try to to make points across in a constructive way. I am willing to work it out however if it happens two more times, I will leave one final message and if that is disregarded again, I have to stop there because at that point I am beyond stressed and need to worry about my health which is deteriorating at that point. Tears and apologies only get so far with me now. I don’t like being cornered when I have a panic attack and I don’t like being accused of abandoning when I am trying to take care of my health or the whole victim act when there was no name calling or anything. Just things like, hey could you not do that or that hurt my feelings.

I don’t know how many times that I have told my friends that I have anxiety or when my aunt had been murdered and when the funeral was coming up how I needed space and whatnot, yet when I snapped at the guy who is no longer my friend, his cousin who is also a friend of mine would not stick up for me yet he kept telling me how confused he was when i hung out with him. I have told the guy enough times about my problems and let him get away with not listening to my i need space, so I should not need to get a dictionary and spell out what anxiety is or grieving means. These are personal friends I’m talking about and I really think further confrontation just brings more unnecessary stress. :/ been over three years for this one.

Even before these happened, I usually just take it in and keep it to myself or tell someone, though telling mutual friends did not good.

internalizing things definitely hasn’t helped since the latter I’ve been upset about for over three years.

 

[-Blue-]

I tell people how it is. Sometimes I can be super blunt if people are doing things that are uncalled for. Other times I will try to sugarcoat it if someone means well, isn't aware, or usually isn't problematic.

I didn't use to be that way, but I got and still have a job that requires that kind of attitude. It really shouldn't require that, but people can suck. It really threw me out of my shell. I'm usually pretty laid back and get along with most people pretty well, but I won't idly sit by if something is happening that isn't acceptable.

I'm totally not looking for a fight, but I get a lot of people with terrible attitudes that I work with at the warehouse. Truck drivers are really miserable people. There have been times where I had to tell them to go outside and blow steam off before they came back in.

 

[nintendofan85]

Being confronted, regardless if it's in-person or online, can be very hard for me. Very hard.

If I'm the one doing the confronting, it's a different story. I actually really don't mind doing it, seemingly, but if the other doesn't react well, it does bother. Hence, that's why I generally try to avoid it either way. I have some horror stories about how that's gone in the past...

 

[fairysyndrome]

i try to pick and choose my battles in-person because my family is all very hair-trigger tempery and saying Anything can set somebody off, so i tend to try to avoid confrontation unless it’s something that i really need to speak up about. online, though, unless it’s a friend i’m talking to i can and will say things with ease without sugarcoating it. as demonstrated on this forum lol

 

[LadyDestani]

I try to avoid confrontation whenever possible. I get nervous at work if I just have to tell somebody they did something wrong and I will find all sorts of ways to word it so that it doesn't sound like I'm blaming them. I tiptoe around the more volatile members of my family, too, and try not to say anything that would set them off. Although, lately I've been losing my patience with some of them and it has led to arguments that are still unresolved. But it really comes down to the issue and I do pick and choose my battles carefully.

 

[Xara]

i avoid confrontation at all costs, even if it’s about something that’s really bugging me, which is kind of ironic considering i have anger issues . i’m not too sure why i’m so afraid of confrontation - maybe it’s because i grew up in an angry household, one where ‘conflict resolution’ was giving the silent treatment and then pretending that the problem never happened until the next one arises. maybe it’s because i suck at communication. i’m not sure but it’s definitely inconvenient lol. i’m trying to be better about it, though. i've realized that i have a easier time dealing with confrontation online - i still tremble like mad but if it’s being done through text, email, etc, i’m able to take my time in thinking about what i want to say and how i want to say it, whereas with in-person confrontations, i feel as if i have to respond as soon as the other person stops talking, which results in me not being able to communicate/listen effectively or respond appropriately.

 

[thatawkwardkid]

I used to avoid it at all costs, but now I try to force myself to be confrontational, especially if I feel like it's the right thing I should do. I feel like it's a necessary evil. I used to get really anxious when confronting people, but now I'm used to it. As for dealing with it, I usually just think of it as a learning experience and try not to take it personally, it can be hard sometimes though

 

[nightglow]

I'm ok with it. Usually it means whatever it is will be discussed or taken care of pretty quickly if there is an issue. Confrontation doesn't always mean negativity. Sometimes someone is just sharing or just trying to talk about something to let you know about something, or you just perceived them wrong because your sensitive or sore about certain things.
It happening in the workplace is probably the only time I get nervous about it happening because people can get pretty butt hurt over the smallest things and then it becomes a big dragged out thing that is talked about for weeks even if you have nothing to do with the event. I hate drama.

 

[Violet Witch]

I don't and I hate confrontation. I tend to bottle up my emotions and pretend like everything is okay because I'm not good at being at the forefront of something that deals heavily with my emotions. Usually certain feelings fade over time but on the odd occasion I'll just explode and my inner truths just spill out.

Apparently I take after my dad in that department.