Hi there! That really, really sucks. Winter is a hard time for me too, having less hours of sun, and stress of school, can make people with depression have a v hard time. I've been ?really low? a few times in my past with hurting myself and trying to.. end it. People helped me get to a hospitilization program, and it helped! Yeah, I get times when it gets bad and low, and makes me wonder if I'm still doing the right thing by living on, but, as cliche as it sounds, it will get better! Tomorrow? Unlikely, but who knows. But in a year, or a few? I thought I was gonna be stuck living with my abusive parents forever, but one day I got to move in with my best friend across the country.
As other suggest, Melatonin! It helps! The docs at the hospital explained it helpes regulate sleep for people woth depression. Since we never quite feel 'energetic' nor feel 'really tired'. Something called Trazadon (spelling?) helped me STAY asleep too, Melatonin alone didn't help me.
A couple other tips I learned:
Get like, a paper, or slightly sturdy paper, or a paper folder, where people can write on. Take it to any friends, family, teacher, etc. Anyone who you truly believes cares about you. Maybe even get a few lesser known people if you think they will do it. Ask them to write nice things. Things they like about you. And they can leave it anonomous if they like! I look back at the one I have still, and seeing the Positive things, helps!
Another, if you ever feel bad at yourself for spending time gaming, reading, listening to music, etc, when you could do 'other things' like being active, social, working, etc... Dont. The docs say you shouldn't be upset at yourself for coping! Sure, others will say you shouldn't soend all day coping, and yes, you should be able to eventually move on, and other other things, but, when it's all you really CAN do, then do it. I see some deltarune stuff there! Listen to some music, maybe watch a letsplay, or look at clips of your favorite parts? Look at cool fanart of Ralsei? If they make you feel good, then it IS a good thing!
Now, this is gonna be a hard one. Set an alarm for every hour you are home. Everytime it goes off, pause. And think POSITIVE things. Even at first if you don't believe them, just do it, for about a minute. Don't know what things to say? It's okay, I didn't either. I thought of what I WANT others to think of me as! "I'm kind, I'm good, I'm gonna be okay, I'm funny, I'm smart, I'm beautiful." You may not believe those words yet, but it's been shown that postivie thinking helps people! Start avoiding saying stuff "I hate myself, My life sucks, I wanna die" EVEN if it's semi jokingly!!! If all you think is negative out in the day, it'll be the only thoughts to occupy your mind at night... This one helped me, AND my sister. And she was sucidial herself when she was 8.
Now, for awhile, it'll still be hard to want to do things instead of stay in bed. Maybe use things as a motivator? Like, if I just get through the day, I'll be a day closer to whenever Toby finishes Deltarune
Or when a comic, show, movie updates/comes out?
Lastly, don't live for others, do it for yourself. Even if you aren't at the point of ending it, I more so mean, just, doing what YOU want in life. I learned that sometimes you really won't have anyone. That can be hard, and very painful. But it'll be okay. One day, even if its far away, you WILL meet better people! The best friend I moved in with? We don't get along anymore. Instead? I became good friends with her brother, and he helped me through some times when I was so hurt when she would just watch me fall apart. And I had to move across the US at 18 to find a decent friend.
Oh, one more thing. A looot of people do this. Don't ever think, I shouldn't be complaining, people have had it worse.
Please, don't ever, EVER, think that! Hurt is still hurt, even if it's different or less. We shouldn't ignore our hurts, or dismiss them as petty. Being hurt, no matter how little it is, is awful. For anyone.
Hope you have a good day out there buddy!
