How Have You Made Friends on TBT/Other Websites?

[nightglow]

I've made friends through Facebook before. I'd say common interest and frequent interaction is it. However they do disappear as fast as they form. Maybe the friendship happened out of boredom or loneliness? That's when people tend to hop on social media accounts.
As for this site, I'm not sure I could say I've made friends. I have made acquaintances (people who follow each other) esp after events, but this site operates slower than social media accounts and I'm good with that. Sometimes the world is too much like a race track.

 

[Aerith]

I relate to the tumblr thing! I remember back in those days, I used to angst over seemingly everyone but me having mutuals they loved and were their bffs. I've chased after a lot of friendships over my lifetime that amounted to nothing, and I guess that's why I'm now very passive and wait for people to come to me. I also have anxiety, which makes approaching people (even online) difficult.

As a result, I only have like, one friend on here ahahaha (although there are a lot of people I think fondly of). I'd love to make more, but it will require me taking more of the initiative to talk to people.

 

[~Kilza~]

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[Khaoticnoize187]

nah honestly rather keep to myself, people online can be pretty sketchy af so forget it

 

[Pate and Ketchup]

I don't have friends here yet.
I play a lot of forum rpg, it's writing exercices. You create your character, you give them a appearance, a name, a job, a life and interract with other characters. Sometimes you have a good contact with a player and continue to talk to them but it's rare, at least for me.
On video games, it depends: online games like MOBA, there are discords where you can join parties, so it's easier to make friends as you talk to them in vocal. On Final Fantasy XIV, your character can join a guild created by another player and you can meet people there, sometimes in vocal, sometimes not.
I met my boyfriend on Smite one year and a half ago. We don't even live in the same country but see each other during holiday. We still play together and join vocal chat everyday.

 

[Bluelady]

This sounds sad but I don't. I'm ok with it though. I get to meet plenty of friendly people every day. Still, I know that one day people in here will lose interest and leave. That's the nature of online platforms, so it's best for me to not get attached. The only other social platform that I use is Reddit and good luck trying to make friends there. It's like calling into the void.

 

[DaisyFan]

nah honestly rather keep to myself, people online can be pretty sketchy af so forget it

Yes, me too.

For me, I only post about discussions, games, and interests.

 

[Snowesque]

There's friends I've made on dress-up sites that I still know to this day. Some as early as 2013.

 

[Bruscoe]

I've never met any friends in real life that I first met on the internet. As I have social anxiety, it makes me uncomfortable to talk to others on the internet one-on-one. It's easy to do when posting on threads, as everyone can see what you've typed. I even become uncomfortable when I look at users' real life photos of themselves, which is why I tend to use a game avatar for every site that isn't a big social media service. I get it - I can't make friends if I don't push myself, but I find it hard to engage conversations. It's also a big reason why I've never been in a real relationship.

As dating apps can be considered websites, I've had next to no luck on those services either, and have wasted a ton of time and money trying to find someone whose attention I can grab. From around late 2017 to mid 2023, I've been on and off with such apps, and have quit them hopefully for good as I now realize that they don't work at all no matter the service. As I've now entered 2024 with all my remaining friends from high school abandoning me, I pretty much have no one left to rely on to make new friends and find that special someone.

As almost all my coworkers past my Little Caesars years are much older than me, I'm finding it extremely difficult to even find anyone to personally talk to these days that's around my age. Even then, most are wanting to do things that I have little to no interest in. Maybe I'm just a diamond in the rough...

 

[Croconaw]

I've been active here for the past three or so years, and I haven't done anything beyond occasionally posting on someone's wall. That sometimes results in a few back and forth messages, but nothing ongoing and it's just small talk at that point. The first big event I participated in was TBTWC followed by the first Camp TBT. I joined hoping to become in integral part of the forum and hopefully make some friends. I wasn't at a point in my life where I even knew who I was and frankly I had low self-esteem at that time, so I began taking on traits of people around me. That led me to becoming someone I wasn't proud of and I only have myself to blame for that.

I've only recently learned to control my BPD urges. My biggest struggle with it has been my self-image and disassociation, but I have to accept it as it's part of me. I obviously can't change what's already happened, but I sometimes have lingering thoughts about the past.

During last year's Space Camp in particular, I felt like I was truly part of the team. We ultimately placed last, but I wouldn't have wanted to be part of another team. I kept the Galaxolotls Star Fragment to commemorate my time with the team. It may not be a Galaxy Swirl but it's something better, in my eyes at least. I even participated in some of the gaming challenges, which is something I couldn't do previously due to lack of WiFi. I'm still a bit iffy about the team aspect of events, but is that just because I haven't yet found myself part of some clique? Probably.

I won't mention anyone in particular, but I've had the pleasure of communicating with some of the sweetest members and even becoming friends with some of them. Truthfully, I'm happy that my presence makes a difference on these forums. I'd often wonder if places would be the same if I just disappear. That doesn't seem to be the case here, and that's somewhat relieving.

-snip-

Yeah, most of my coworkers are ten years younger than me. I try not to associate with minors beyond being cordial at work. I find it difficult to relate to them anyway because most of them bring up school drama, and I cannot relate to it. Some of the problems the kids experience at school are extremely petty anyway, so I try to tune it out. The maturity gap is just too big for there to be any meaningful connection. I will talk to them, but I'll refuse to bring it outside of work because it's all but a slippery slope.

 

[Gabby]

I think all of my online friends are at least TBT adjacent. I did it by being annoying and inserting myself into a group. Sometimes it works (if you have no shame).

 

[Goldi Locks]

I brought some of my irl and twitter/X friends with me to this place, if that counts? They're good guys.

As for making friends here, I quite like some people and their content. Some have also followed me on twitter/X that I've talked to a bit privately who seem cool.

On the other hand, I went on the Discord here, but was told most people talk on a secret server there now. I was not given any further info on it, so just assumed I was probably unwelcome? lmaoooo
I'm joking of course, though apparently there's a few who keep reporting me on here or whatever, so I'm probably not gonna be friends with those guys loolol but who cares? I don't know them and haters gonna hate!

Beware of making friends online anyway. Not everyone is who they say they are and not everyone's intentions are good.
And remember; anyone who makes you anxious to express yourself isn't actually your friend. You're a person, not someone's puppet.

 

[rosetti]

TBT is the only site where I have made online friends, however it's always been offsite on LINE, skype or discord where our bond grows! I have met so many amazing lovely people, some who have been my best friends since 2015 and we still talk to each other most days

I brought some of my irl and twitter/X friends with me to this place, if that counts? They're good guys.

As for making friends here, I quite like some people and their content. Some have also followed me on twitter/X that I've talked to a bit privately who seem cool.

On the other hand, I went on the Discord here, but was told most people talk on a secret server there now. I was not given any further info on it, so just assumed I was probably unwelcome? lmaoooo
I'm joking of course, though apparently there's a few who keep reporting me on here or whatever, so I'm probably not gonna be friends with those guys loolol but who cares? I don't know them and haters gonna hate!

Beware of making friends online anyway. Not everyone is who they say they are and not everyone's intentions are good.
And remember; anyone who makes you anxious to express yourself isn't actually your friend. You're a person, not someone's puppet.

in case you missed, anyone is welcome and it's not a secret - we're just not allowed to share links in the tbt discord server or share/'promote' it on the forum - I'll dm u an invite tho ! and for anyone else seeing this just lmk and I'll invite u too !!! all for inclusivity

i believe the server was made in the first place because we wanted to talk about collectibles without clogging up the general chat, we weren't allowed a channel at the time so TBT Collectibles Hub was born LOL

 

[daringred_]

i've never made friends here, haha. i mean, there's one or two people i would consider my friends, but i don't know that the feeling is mutual. ironically, all the friends i had online when i was younger, i made on a forum not too dissimilar to this one, though it was roleplay oriented. (and also attached to a flash game.) currently, the majority of my online friends are on tumblr. i create most of the "content" for a pretty small ship, so sometimes when another person starts shipping it, they reach out and we get talking. (or i suggest they reach out because, hey, i love talking about a shared interest!) then i just have one or two friends on twitter that i talk with occasionally, and one who i speak with exclusively over gmail. (long story.) i'm not very good at small talk, and i probably seem a little unapproachable on here in particular because i can have a... stiff? way of talking. or maybe i'm just too opinionated, who knows lol.

 

[slzzpz]

I never really sought out friends on here, just happened naturally. Made a good friend on here (who doesn't visit the forums anymore) back in like 2012, so I've known her for a long time now. If I happen to vibe with people who visit my town/island, I usually become friends with them.

 

[Mick]

I've made fairly long lasting friendships both here on TBT and on other websites! I've even made a few friends through online gaming and after a while, met up with them in real life. When you've been talking for years and know way too much about each other, and then finally see each other in person... I've always found it really exciting when that happens.

 

[Mistreil]

i've made a lot of friends on various forums, including TBT - some of my longest/closest friendships were formed this way (namely from tinierme and MMO forums... a few from tumblr, too, though all in a smaller community there)! a lot of communications ended up moving off-site pretty naturally, of course. i've seen a few of them IRL too, including being on a vacation (and making future vacation plans) with some friends i've made!
(disclaimer: be careful with who you meet, information you share, etc. i'm fairly careful and naturally a bit reserved, and the people i do meet are ones i've known for like... 5-15 years at this point.)

with that said, though: i'm actually very quiet and don't initiate conversations with people very often! my longest friendships always ended up being ones that formed when i stepped out of my comfort zone for a moment to comment (e.g. asking if someone's avatar was related to a series that i also liked, sending a stranger doodles because i loved their art/characters, etc.) and which ended up reciprocated. i definitely don't mind if people talk to me and i generally view people positively, but i think there are certain types of people that are easier for me to be long-term friends with (people who initiate conversations since i don't, for instance.)
im sorry to everyone who has befriended/tried to be friends with me and gets disappointed at my lack of initiating. i do like you im just not a social person most of the time. i can count the number of people in my life who i'm comfortable initiating stuff at random with on one hand.

i definitely hit send too early-

anyways, i do think that making friends on forums is very dependent on 1) the type of person you are, 2) the effort you put into interacting with someone, 3) the type of people you get along best with. sometimes it's pretty hard to find people that you click with properly! timing and whatnot all ends up affecting it too. some forums i've just made no friends whatsoever, but that's sometimes just a me-problem.

 

[Dunny County]

I brought some of my irl and twitter/X friends with me to this place, if that counts? They're good guys.

As for making friends here, I quite like some people and their content. Some have also followed me on twitter/X that I've talked to a bit privately who seem cool.

On the other hand, I went on the Discord here, but was told most people talk on a secret server there now. I was not given any further info on it, so just assumed I was probably unwelcome? lmaoooo
I'm joking of course, though apparently there's a few who keep reporting me on here or whatever, so I'm probably not gonna be friends with those guys loolol but who cares? I don't know them and haters gonna hate!

Beware of making friends online anyway. Not everyone is who they say they are and not everyone's intentions are good.
And remember; anyone who makes you anxious to express yourself isn't actually your friend. You're a person, not someone's puppet

I'm an "irl friend" - and proud to be so!

Don't anyone invite me to any discord place though, that's not my kettle of fish one bit. I did look at it once and couldn't even work out what it was.

 

[Goldi Locks]

I'm an "irl friend" - and proud to be so!

Don't anyone invite me to any discord place though, that's not my kettle of fish one bit. I did look at it once and couldn't even work out what it was.

Aww I'm gonna make you a really nice Proud Friend of Goldi badge that you can wear everywhere.

 

[Xara]

I’ve always been more outgoing online compared to how I am in real life. I’m really insecure about the way I look and my voice, amongst other things, and I can hide those things online. I get to choose the way people see me online, and it makes me feel more comfortable to be myself. Everything that I share online about myself is truthful of course, but I get to choose my truths that I share. Nobody needs to know what I look like or what my voice sounds like unless I want them to. I don’t need to talk about myself unless I want to. I get to kind of choose the way I’m perceived and what people get to know about me and my life, and I can sorta mask the things I’m insecure about with my personality, my interests and who I am. My insecurities are big parts of me, and they make me feel like there’s too much wrong with me to talk to people irl, try to make irl friends, or put myself in any situation where I’d have to interact with others, so I just… don’t. Most of my friends are online ones as a result.

Before returning to TBT after my hiatus, I made most of my friends through social media. I’m not sure if they’re still a thing, but back in 2016-2020, there were accounts on Instagram dedicated to helping people find online friends. You’d dm info about yourself (your interests, your age, what country you live in etc) and an optional picture of yourself, and the account would post what you sent them so that people could hit you up and try to befriend you if they were interested. I didn’t get past the first conversation or occasional small talk with most of the people I connected with via those accounts, but I still talk to 3 of the people I met, one of whom is my best friend.

We’ve been friends for almost 7 years. I never would have imagined finding my best friend through Instagram of all places, but I’m so grateful that I did. I often think about what my life would look like if I hadn’t answered their dm, and I honestly can’t imagine my life without them. They’ve seen me through so much, have seen me go from a 15-year-old struggling with school to an almost 22-year-old who has finally graduated. They were there when I lost my grandmother, when I lost 3 cats, and for all of the other bad things that have happened in the last 6 years. We’ve grown up with each other in a way, and while we don’t get to talk every day (or even every week) due to us both being busy and having awful mental health, they’re truly the platonic love of my life. So grateful for them

I met the rest of my current online friends through TBT, some of whom I’ve been friends with for around 3 or 4 years now! I’d say I’m at least on friendly terms with most people here, though. I can’t really pinpoint exact moments when my friends became my friends or how it happened, but I’d say it was a series of interactions over time. Posting on each other’s profiles, making art for each other, wishing each other a Happy Birthday, checking in on each other from time to time, offering support when either of us isn’t doing well, being on the same team during team-based events and interacting during others, etc. I’m really active on here, and some of my friends are also really active on here, and I think that also played a part in that initial beginning of friendship as well. Though of course our friendships became more than that and isn’t tied to activity now; I think it’s just easier to befriend familiar faces sometimes, especially in a community like TBT. But eventually, activity and those series of interactions bloomed into genuine friendship, and I’m so, so blessed to have the friends on here that I do.

There’s been talk lately about how TBT can be cliquey at times, especially during events, and I agree to a certain extent. I don’t consider myself to be a part of any “clique”, though. I can be friends with pretty much anybody, and as I said earlier, I’d like to think that I’m on friendly terms with almost everyone here, if not outright friends. You know that kind of student who hangs out with a different group of friends every day and is friends and can talk to pretty much anyone? I sometimes like to think of myself as that, though I’m obviously not as outgoing or good at talking, LOL

I think I could count on two hands how many friends I have that I’m really close with, but I’m equally grateful for all of my friends, no matter how close we are or how often we talk. I’ve learned so much from them, and as they are all unique, they have all nourished my life in their own unique ways in turn. From my friends who I talk with weekly to my friends who I relate to so deeply to my friends who I don’t have much in common with beyond Animal Crossing and TBT, they are all some of the greatest treasures in my life and I owe them a lot. I feel guilty a lot for not reaching out as often as I’d like; it’s not because I don’t want to or I don’t think to or that I don’t care, I usually just don’t have the energy to, or I don’t want to bother anyone. I’ve always been more of the initiated than the initiator, and while my friends have always been kind, gracious and understanding with me, I always worry that I’m accidentally hurting or annoying them by not reaching out more.

I don’t really have any advice or insight on how to make reaching out or finding friends less intimidating, but I wanted to say that it’s okay to hit up someone with, “Hey, I think you’re cool. Wanna be friends?”, or “Hey, we have these interests in common, wanna talk about them?”, or something else along those lines. Reaching out isn’t weird, and you aren’t weird or being a bother by trying to connect. Anyone who says or makes you feel otherwise doesn’t deserve your friendship.

It’s okay if a friendship starts with small talk... or lots of it. It’s okay if it never gets past small talk. It doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with you or that it was a failed attempt. Everyone will find their people eventually. It’s also okay to skip small talk entirely; that’s definitely my preference, haha.

I think it’s important to also note that most friendships won’t happen after one conversation or in one day. It might take weeks, months or years for you to become close friends with someone. That’s okay! Friendships take a lot of work on both sides, in terms of building the friendship and maintaining it. It might take some awkward small talk or a series of interactions over time, but everyone is worthy of friends, and everyone will find their people. It just takes work, and some trial and error.

I was not planning on writing this much I’m sorry LMAO