made08
Rezzz Rep of Sunshine 😎🌞
Any tips would be appreciated lol I'm reaching my mental capacity for dealing with my mother and I kinda just feel like I need to talk to people or be objective about this in some way
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How to deal with a dysfunctional family
- Thread starter made08
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realise everything is temporary including life ahh so make the most of the positives of ur life outside of ur family, disconnect your issues with the joys of life: keep a happiness journal or jar for times when it seems nothing will get better, as you can't change people but you can change your attitude towards them
stay strong!
stay strong!
i usually just run away from my problems haha, it makes me feel better and it gives me some space for a few days/hours but it might be different for you. i also give my family a time of space and then get them to talk
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UglyMonsterFace
Arize from Azulon
It really depends on what kind of dysfunction you're talking about. I have a very dysfunctional family, and when it comes to my dad, it was really better to limit the amount of times I saw him. In fact, we aren't close at all and I don't really consider him part of my core family anymore.. I have an extremely dysfunctional relationship with my sister as well, but I make do with her because I love my nieces and I couldn't live without them. So the way I deal with her is just by not letting her words hurt me and to just take everything she says with a grain of salt. Also, I try to be accommodating of her extreme sensitivity. My brother and I used to be really messed up, but we've made it work, and I consider him and his wife my true family now. This can only work if BOTH parties are willing to work on the relationship. But let me give you some advice. My mother and I had a very terrible relationship, and at the time, I couldn't forgive her. Then she had a stroke and lost the ability to move, and speak. I regret it so much now. So you have to really think about what you can and cannot work out. If something is truly harmful for your personal growth and happiness, you should consider removing it from your life, but if there is any chance at all to work it out, you really should. You don't always get a second chance.
Is it emotional abuse? I deal with that everyday due to my mother being emotionally abusive to me and everyone else in the family. Honestly, they won't change, nor do they ever admit that they're wrong so the best thing to do is to tolerate them for now and limit contact with them at all costs.
Whenever my mother becomes abusive, I simply say that she's being toxic right now and I begin to leave. She usually spits out denials so I simply walk away. She threatens me but they're all empty threats so I don't care to "upset" her. I DO NOT need to stay and have her yell at me. If only I realized that sooner.
Edit: do you have a friend you could spend days with as breaks? I sleepover at my boyfriend's house over the weekend and it makes me feel loads better, as if I just lost 30lbs of weight but instead of physical it's mental. You aren't using them, if you genuinely enjoy their company but for me, I NEVER have my boyfriend over at my house for sleepovers. He understands though because he has similar problems with his family.
Whenever my mother becomes abusive, I simply say that she's being toxic right now and I begin to leave. She usually spits out denials so I simply walk away. She threatens me but they're all empty threats so I don't care to "upset" her. I DO NOT need to stay and have her yell at me. If only I realized that sooner.
Edit: do you have a friend you could spend days with as breaks? I sleepover at my boyfriend's house over the weekend and it makes me feel loads better, as if I just lost 30lbs of weight but instead of physical it's mental. You aren't using them, if you genuinely enjoy their company but for me, I NEVER have my boyfriend over at my house for sleepovers. He understands though because he has similar problems with his family.
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Allow both parties space. Like Arize said (because she's much wiser than me ;u
, if you can work something out, you really should.
I was neglected as a child. My mother wouldn't feed me, I had to go to other people's houses for food. When those friends moved away, I was well and truly alone. My mum eventually kicked me out and I moved in with my dad. I never had friends as a kid and when I got to high school I actually had friends and I never wanted them to leave. But I was so tormented by the lack of love and support I never got that I got overly attached and lost all of those friends. My entire childhood messed me up bad you can say haha
I don't see my brother, my two sisters, my mother or my grandparents on my mother's side. I wasn't able to see my great grandparents before they passed away because of it. I was close to my great granddad, I miss him pretty much everyday. My mum stopped me from seeing my great grandma, who I was pretty close with until she developed dementia. I wasn't even told that she died until a year after she passed. But I deeply regret not trying to mend things between me and my mum for good sooner, because I could have had a connection with my great grandma before she died, I could rebuild a relationship with my mum, grandparents and siblings, but I left it.
If you can work something out, you should. After arguments, give each other space to breathe, then try to talk it out. Sometimes you might need time away, if you have friends you can maybe stay with overnight or maybe even for a few days it really helps. I have my own spot in an abandoned building that I go to, or I sit up in the attic to give myself time to think. Always work things out where you can.
, if you can work something out, you really should. I was neglected as a child. My mother wouldn't feed me, I had to go to other people's houses for food. When those friends moved away, I was well and truly alone. My mum eventually kicked me out and I moved in with my dad. I never had friends as a kid and when I got to high school I actually had friends and I never wanted them to leave. But I was so tormented by the lack of love and support I never got that I got overly attached and lost all of those friends. My entire childhood messed me up bad you can say haha
I don't see my brother, my two sisters, my mother or my grandparents on my mother's side. I wasn't able to see my great grandparents before they passed away because of it. I was close to my great granddad, I miss him pretty much everyday. My mum stopped me from seeing my great grandma, who I was pretty close with until she developed dementia. I wasn't even told that she died until a year after she passed. But I deeply regret not trying to mend things between me and my mum for good sooner, because I could have had a connection with my great grandma before she died, I could rebuild a relationship with my mum, grandparents and siblings, but I left it.
If you can work something out, you should. After arguments, give each other space to breathe, then try to talk it out. Sometimes you might need time away, if you have friends you can maybe stay with overnight or maybe even for a few days it really helps. I have my own spot in an abandoned building that I go to, or I sit up in the attic to give myself time to think. Always work things out where you can.
And remember that bad times... are just times that are bad.
Weiland
Flick Fanboy 🦎💞
I come from a dysfunctional family so I know what you're going through. Make sure you have a support network with your friends and if you're willing to go the extra mile, see a counsellor.
You can message me anytime if you're wanting to rant or vent.
You can message me anytime if you're wanting to rant or vent.
Eudial
˗ˏˋ ユージア
I don't really like talking about stuff like this, but since we're in a similar situation, I'll say that what worked for me was to immerse myself into whatever was my hobby or interest at the time (writing/video games). I tried to talk it out, but instead of listening, she would make everything focused on herself. She still does at this very moment, so I stopped trying altogether. I felt like life's too short to bring my mind and body into ruin over people who won't even give you the time of day.
But if you can talk to you mother, and if she's the type who's willing to listen, please do.
But if you can talk to you mother, and if she's the type who's willing to listen, please do.
watercolorwish
Happy🎃Halloween!
distract yourself! my parents are getting a divorce within the next few months and im just playing video games and watching my favorite shows and drawing to keep myself occupied and not stress over it. no matter the family situation you can find other things that are more important than family who said family even needs to be important?
who said family even needs to be important?
