How to recognize emotionally abusive behaviour?

[Corrie]

I have read so many articles about the topic of emotional abuse but I still hesitate on whether a certain behaviour is considered abusive or if I'm just being too sensitive.

I just would hate to tolerate abusive behaviour because I think it's normal.

What do you guys personally think is abusive behaviour?

 

[Aniko]

I would think a behavior is abusive if you told the person that you are uncomfortable with their behavior and they are still doing it knowing they are hurting you.

A person may say or do things (that would make you uncomfortable) without meaning any harm. You have to tell them. Usually the person will be more careful the next time, and if they don't, you don't have to stay around them.

I'm not really sensitive apparently so I often say or do things that make very sensitive people uncomfortable, but it's not on purpose, I usually try to be careful with them, but sometimes I'm still hurting them without meaning it (for instance, I already gave a dragonfly pendant as birthday gift but the person was scared of insects and thought I hated her for doing this...although I wouldn't spend so much money for someone I hate..). In some cases I prefer not to be involved with too sensitive people, like they prefer staying away from me, it's just too much stress for both of us.

So I would think, you don't have to tolerate something you think is abusive even if for someone else it would be normal.

 

[vel]

when you feel controlled either by guilt, fear, manipulation, intimidation to put someone down and make them feel worthless.

honestly if you think you're being emotionally abused, maybe try to distance yourself from the abuser? i know nothing of your current situation and i'm just going to give general answers here, but it's good to either distance yourself or learn that they only feed off you and your emotions, so try to not give them any real response. i've been abused emotionally for years until i finally discovered it was a problem and i stopped it by using the above methods.

 

[tumut]

Here's a quick list of no nos

-Blackmail
-Guilt tripping
-Entitlement for whatever reason
-Acting depressed whenever they don't get their way
-Not backing off from things when you tell them to
-Not giving you space when you tell them you need it
-Disrespect
-Insistent behavior

These are all red flags and pretty blatant signs that the person is a piece of ****

 

[Mr. Cat]

Pretty much everybody I've ever been around have shown most of the signs of abusive behavior. I honestly don't know what non-abusive behavior is or if it even exists. The only people who have seemed to be alright are the more shy people. Maybe passive agressive sometimes, but I don't think they try to be.

 

[amanda1983]

What constitutes "emotionally abusive behaviour" is fairly dependant on the situation. There are recognisible patterns of emotional abuse directed towards children by their parent/care-giver, for example, but these are not necessarily the same as in a romantic relationship with one partner emotionally abusing the other.

Speaking generally, the following is a good overview of emotionally abusive behaviours :

Some types of emotional abuse can include:
Verbal - yelling, insulting or swearing at someone
Rejection - pretending not to notice someone’s presence, conversation or value
Put downs - name calling, public embarrassment, calling someone stupid, blaming them for everything
Being afraid - causing someone to feel afraid, intimidated or threatened
Isolation - limiting freedom of movement, stopping someone from contacting other people (like friends or family)
Money - controlling someone’s money, withholding money, preventing someone from working, stealing or taking money
Bullying- purposely and repeatedly saying or doing hurtful things to someone.

http://au.reachout.com/what-is-emotional-abuse

Absolutely anyone can be a victim of serious emotional abuse. This type of abuse can be devastating not just for the targeted victim, but for everyone around them. If not addressed, some extremely negative and outright dysfunctional patterns can be established - and those can, and frequently are, passed on to future generations.

The good news is that we have access to lots of helpful information online, and there are various support services available to help people in different situations.

If you believe you are being emotionally abused, please know that you are not alone, and you *do not* deserve to be treated that way.

 

[visibleghost]

the line between abuse and "just" mean manipulative behavior can be kinda Thin so lol idk im not an expert but i think that if u want to recognize toxic behavior it's good to look out for people who are mean a lot, constantly put you down, make jokes at your expense, are manipulative, act like they are never wrong etc.
if they make you feel bad a lot chances are that u probably should try to avoid them bc theyre not v good for u, whoever it is. (tho parents can be harder to avoid than friends but . yea h.)

 

[Dogemon]

If someone is doing things with the intent of pushing you or your feelings aside because they value their own feelings more with the intent to hurt you would be emotional abuse.

 

[pawpatrolbab]

If you're questioning if someone is abusive or not, most likely they're abusive

 

[Aniko]

Pretty much everybody I've ever been around have shown most of the signs of abusive behavior. I honestly don't know what non-abusive behavior is or if it even exists. The only people who have seemed to be alright are the more shy people. Maybe passive agressive sometimes, but I don't think they try to be.

Right, and often they don't recognize it, even the shy people.

For many of us it start with our own parents. Abuser are not always violent, passive agressive behavior and victimization is also a form of abuse when they are using it to control you.

 

[Ghost Soda]

I can't really add much that hasn't been said, but being afraid of the people you're supposed to trust is a red flag.

 

[Weiland]

If they make you feel guilty for not doing something, if they manipulate or blackmail you into succumbing to their wants and desires, etc.