I'm Not Afraid

[Zachary]

Lie in your bed
Snuggled and warm.
A little too warm.
Bam!
WHAT WAS THAT SOUND?!
Snip!
WHAT WAS THAT SOUND?!

Peek out the door
look in the dark corner
of that room
watch for things
that may want to get you.

Wake up.
The sun greets you with
a shine to your face.

"Did you sleep well?"
the mother asks her
zombie child.

 

[Robin]

It's OK.

 

[Phil]

its ok
not perfect but is alright

 

[4861]

It's OK.

 

[Sinep1]

I don't really like it >_<

 

[Niall]

Good work!

 

[melly]

its alright, but you need to change some words, use a theasurous and try to make the rythem flow better
but the story is good

 

[Zachary]

its alright, but you need to change some words, use a theasurous and try to make the rythem flow better
but the story is good

Thank you for actually telling me something I need to do!

 

[coffeebean!]

Uh....you need to balance it out.

 

[Sean15]

I read coffee's there amazing try aim her way :veryhappy:

 

[bittermeat]

The words and prhases you used weren't so great or orginal. Use a thesaurus like Melly said.
If the poem's suppose to be creepy and scary, I want to let you know I'm not sweating or getting goosebumps.

 

[The Sign Painter]

Um... WTF?

 

[Zachary]

Um... WTF?

That's not helpful. That's just spamming my topic.

GTFO!

 

[airhead]

pretty good