Living Situations and Age Topic

[-Blue-]

@Tao It's also the reason the workforce in the US can't find anyone to work for them anymore. They've been able to hold most of the working class in their gripe for years, until the pandemic happened and many who would never had been able to get unemployment were able. And you can get so much more and an actual living wage on unemployment that you can't get in probably something like 50/60% of jobs these days.

Things are going to need to change and corporate america is going to have to realize it can't stay status-quo. The workforce drops even more each day yet they're staying dug in like a tick in hopes they can brainwash the populace again. It very well should be the way it was for the Baby Boomer + generation. I forget where I read it, but it was envisioned that we're in state that people should not have to work their lives away like we have reverted back to. It's only happening because we're letting these multi-millionaire companies get away with it. It's not going to kill their company to give people livable wages where they don't have to worry about if they can afford to eat, sleep, or live.

This is like one of the biggest reasons why people have came back to living in larger families. I won't shame people for that. In fact I will gladly shame our government for allowing it to get this out of hand.

 

[rip]

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[sleepydreepy]

I went to college in New England while my parents live in Texas and was on my own there for 4 years. I would still come home for breaks and during the summer but I spent most of my time away. I actually liked being on my own, but was kind of forced to live with my parents for two years after I graduated due to my mom's health condition, my own mental health, and then covid. Now im back living on my own but I don't think its wrong to choose to live with your family as an adult! If I had parents who shared similar view points as me I would definitely stay with them, but I just don't get along with my parents and I had to get out.

 

[justina]

Right now I am still living at home despite working 2 jobs (one full time and one part time). I do pay rent to my parents, my own car insurance, health insurance and pretty much all of my expenses. I don’t believe that anyone that works shouldn’t be able to afford to live on their own. The average rent for a one bedroom here is 2,200 a month and that would obvs not include other expenses like car insurance,gas,internet.health insurance etc. I would love to move out but I’m not sure that would happen unless I got married or something. My dad was able to move out at 17 and my mom lived at home till she got married. I think the cost of living has gone up too much that makes it impossible for young people to make it. A lot of older people like to say that my generation is lazy etc. I don’t think that it’s true because everyone I know that still lives at home either works full time or multiple jobs.

 

[kayleee]

This is a really interesting topic, and I think it’s no longer the norm to be moving out of your parents’ house at 18-21. First of all, it’s simply not affordable for many people. I would not have been able to live on my own with the job I had when I was 18 (if I’m being honest, I would probably just barely make ends meet if I lived by myself with the job I have currently). It’s just not realistic anymore, and I think many people in early adulthood understand this. I personally don’t think anything negative when I hear that people still live with their parents. I lived with my parents until I was 25, and if I was single would likely still be living there.

However now that I’m married, I could not live with my parents or in-laws with my husband. I think I would go insane. I understand and totally support that it works for some people, and I think that’s awesome. I just know I personally could not do it

Basically I don’t think there is anything wrong with living with your parents at any age, unless you are able to work but you choose not to and your parents fund 100% of everything in your life and you’re like 40 lol

 

[Envy]

I'm in my low 30s and live with my parents. I lived on my own for a couple of years in my late 20s, but I moved back after graduating from college because my chronic health issues were beginning and it would have been hard for me to deal with alone.

I know I have medical reasons, but I do want to say that it's also a very efficient way to live. I could be paying a bunch of bills for my own apartment, instead I have far less financial responsibilities, which has been essential during the period where my health issues prevented me from being able to have a stable income and then the pandemic. Living on my own could not work for me anymore.

I loved living on my own. I loved having my own apartment. I was heartbroken to leave it, and have had frequent dreams in the years since where I still live there. but as I said, it wasn't feasible.

People who don't know the whole story probably judge me for still living with my parents. Oh well.

 

[xSuperMario64x]

I'm 22, will be 23 in June, and I still live with my parents because being autistic keeps me from being able to work a full-time job meaning I can't afford my own housing. I still don't have an income either, I just graduated college in May and like I said before, jobs have to meet certain criteria for me to be able to work without making my physical/mental health worse (part-time availability, not a crowded environment, not constantly fast paced, etc). my internship is going great but I'm not getting paid for it. therefore I'm still living at home, and as much as I hate living here (doesn't help that my dad has that "I pay all the bills and pay for food and you still disobey me" attitude), I absolutely can't afford to move out.

I've only found one job in the area that I could comfortably work at, but they don't have enough hours for me to work right now. really wish the library would open up some part-time positions, I loved my old library job.

the idea that people need to move out when they're young is a relic of the economic boom of the 1950s and early 1960s when it was super easy to get a good paying job right out of high school and comfortably support a whole family on one income. nowadays that's nearly impossible to do unless you get lucky and find a great paying job or go to college and get a degree in a field that pays well.

If you're gonna have kids you need to accept the lifelong responsibility.

this 100 percent!!!!! my dad can't wrap his head around this and it honestly baffles me, like if you didn't want to deal with supporting your kids financially well into their 20s then you shouldn't have had kids lmao, I didn't ask to be born

 

[Corrie]

@Tao It's also the reason the workforce in the US can't find anyone to work for them anymore. They've been able to hold most of the working class in their gripe for years, until the pandemic happened and many who would never had been able to get unemployment were able. And you can get so much more and an actual living wage on unemployment that you can't get in probably something like 50/60% of jobs these days.

Things are going to need to change and corporate america is going to have to realize it can't stay status-quo. The workforce drops even more each day yet they're staying dug in like a tick in hopes they can brainwash the populace again. It very well should be the way it was for the Baby Boomer + generation. I forget where I read it, but it was envisioned that we're in state that people should not have to work their lives away like we have reverted back to. It's only happening because we're letting these multi-millionaire companies get away with it. It's not going to kill their company to give people livable wages where they don't have to worry about if they can afford to eat, sleep, or live.

This is like one of the biggest reasons why people have came back to living in larger families. I won't shame people for that. In fact I will gladly shame our government for allowing it to get this out of hand.

This 100%. I'm glad people are sitting on unemployment instead of getting paid the bare minimum. It's excellent. I love watching minimum wage paying companies begging for people and blaming the public for 'not wanting to work.' It's just so funny watching them do everything but increase their pay. It's a simple solution and they refuse still. I really hope things change due to this.

Edit: In the field I went to school for, companies dare to offer $17/hr where minimum wage is $15. Really? In a place where rent is easily $1,800+ per month? It's a joke and they wonder why people aren't applying. If I put the effort to go to school and pay thousands, I should be getting far more than just above minimum wage. That's messed up. My field isn't the only one that suffers from this too.

 

[-Blue-]

This 100%. I'm glad people are sitting on unemployment instead of getting paid the bare minimum. It's excellent. I love watching minimum wage paying companies begging for people and blaming the public for 'not wanting to work.' It's just so funny watching them do everything but increase their pay. It's a simple solution and they refuse still. I really hope things change due to this.

Edit: In the field I went to school for, companies dare to offer $17/hr where minimum wage is $15. Really? In a place where rent is easily $1,800+ per month? It's a joke and they wonder why people aren't applying. If I put the effort to go to school and pay thousands, I should be getting far more than just above minimum wage. That's messed up. My field isn't the only one that suffers from this too.

Even jobs that don't require school education, say like construction jobs, pay like dirt. Can you imagine wearing your body down for $10? I used to do that back when I was still in highschool because most places just didn't want some part-timer kid from school. None of the jobs I applied to online/in-person ever amounted to anything. Not even a email telling me to 'scram' So during Summer I would take up construction jobs to be able to afford things and help out my family.

I now work for a warehouse company that deals with all sorts of product from food to medicine/equipment. You'd think they would pay people handling materials like that during a pandemic well, but no. Most didn't. And I wouldn't be able to get unemployment because my job was 'essential worker'

Yeah I could leave, but I wouldn't have any income and I have a family to support. Our government might be a POS, but I have too many people that rely on me and right now there aren't a lot of openings of any sort. But I do enjoy watching all these corporate goons suffer when the solution is so easy yet they're too stupid and greedy for their own good.

 

[cornimer]

23 and still living at home, no plans on moving out any time soon because even apartments are borderline unaffordable here. My mom doesn't want me to move out either because then she'd be alone, so all good.

 

[ali.di.magix]

I'm 24 and I moved out last year when I was 23. Hands down the best thing I could've done for myself. My parents have an incredibly toxic relationship that seeps through to everyone else in the household, and my dad's health issues are hard to deal with. However, I only moved out because I scored a decent-paying job that's in another city that covers all my expenses. If I had scored a job in my hometown, I'd most likely be at my parents house trying to save for my own house (which seems like a pipe dream right now).

I don't judge anyone for living with their parents though. Especially if you're trying to save for your own place, it saves sinking money into renting and seems like the most logical option. Anyone who is in a crappy living situation with their parents though, I can guarantee that when you move out you'd wish you'd done it sooner lol

 

[Kitsuragi]

Personally with the people I've talked to, the negative stigma of not moving out until your late 20s or early 30s is starting to fade away. At least in my area. Most people I know my age don't have their own place and all of the older folks I've talked to don't judge.

I'm 22 and my partner is 24, he's disabled and we live with my dad. Once I graduate college and get a good paying career I'll probs have a place for me and my partner but for now it's not feasible. I don't even drive

 

[Elov]

I moved out at 18 right after I graduated high school, but I had very special circumstances that allowed me to do so. My dad died during my senior year of high school, and I received an inheritance. In a lot of ways I see it as both a blessing and a curse and I think it really stunted my personal growth, because suddenly I had all of this stuff fresh out of high school and I didn't have to worry about being independent for myself. I moved in with a boyfriend (now ex) at the time who I met online when I was 16 and was long distance with for almost 2 years. He was born and grew up in my hometown, and his parents never sold their house and left it practically abandoned for some reason so we decided to move in there to save some money. After about 1.5 years we broke up, and I moved back in with my mom.

Later on I dated someone in the military and pretty much ran off and got married. I was really young, just barely turned 21, and he was only 20. I kind of attribute a lot of my current situation to being very young and reckless in my early adulthood. I also have bpd so I feel like maybe that plays a role in my decision making. Regardless I don't really regret anything. I have a kid, another on the way, and have been married for 4 years at the age of 25. I know my situation is literally as far as possible from what is considered the norm nowadays. And I definitely wouldn't recommend doing the things that I did as young as I did them, for anyone else either.

 

[Xara]

i actually watched a documentary of sorts on this in school last year! i don’t remember which class it was in or what the point of the video was, but the main thing that stood out to me was the different families included. one family had 2 sons, both of whom were to be kicked out as soon as they turned 25, something that was happening 6 months ahead of when filming took place. another family only had one son, and in their heritage, it was customary that the son didn’t move out until he wed. at the time of filming, he had a fiancé (who grew up in a family similar to his and who also still lived at home) that he was set to marry in less than a year’s time. the last family was a woman, her daughter and her grandchild. her daughter and the father of the child had broken up, so she and her grandchild moved in with her. the video also talked about how older generations felt that letting your kid/s remain comfortable and live with you for as long as they want softens them and makes them weaker, and whether or not that’s actually opinion or fact. i thought it was pretty interesting.

my mother and father are really the only two family members i’ve got. i have a grandfather that i occasionally talk to, but staying or moving in with him would never be an option. i don’t know when my father moved out, but he returned to his father in his 30’s-40’s when my mother and him separated, and then again around 10 years later when they separated again, only that time he went to his mom’s and was only there for about a week. however, my mother lived with her mother for pretty much her entire life, up until she (my grandmother) passed away back in september 2021. the last time they lived apart was prior to 2016, and my mother missed her terribly during that time. my mother doesn’t anticipate me moving out until i’m at least 25 (something that i don’t disagree with, but god do i hope it’s sooner), and she doesn’t seem to mind this. in fact, based on a comment she made sometime last year, i don’t think she’d really mind if i lived with her forever.

anyways, my opinion on this is the same as it was when i watched that video — as long as everyone involved doesn’t mind living together, what’s the big deal? so what if parents letting their kids live with them well into their adulthood weakens them? if it’s not your kid, it’s not your problem. as long as it’s not bothering nobody, let people do what they do.

 

[Neb]

I’m 20 and I still live with one of my moms. I moved to an expensive city to attend college, so I didn’t have any other option. My ability to develop independence has been slow as well. While I help out around the apartment a lot, I’m not the best at remembering my tasks (my mom has to remind me as a result). Once I’m out of college I’ll probably stay with her for a while. People with my disability have a hard time finding and maintaining jobs, so I’ll need the financial assistance. Unless I can find a roommate, it’ll probably be a long time until I can find my own place.

 

[skarmoury]

Moving out and starting a new life that early would be considered a luxury where I live. Some Asian cultures (like mine) have close-knit familial traditions and it’s actually pretty normal to have 2-4 generations under the same roof. Me and majority of my friends are in our 20s and we still live with our parents and even grandparents. Granted, we rent apartments and stuff, but it’s mainly because where we study/work is far from home, and not because of the traditional pressure of having to live on your own by 18. We always go home for the holidays at the very least. I‘m an only child and I personally wouldn’t want to be separated from my parents even when I’m old; I love them too much to ever leave them, and I worry about who will take care of them as they get older. I don’t ever see living with your parents as shameful or lazy, especially when people have a good reason for staying with their family (e.g. bonds, costs, etc.), so I’m surprised there’s such a stigma somewhere else in the world.

 

[Mikaiah]

my parents keep saying i can live in the basement if i find a job near home (said job would pay very well, im not considering offers under 75k+ usd right now) but i don't want to so i keep looking for jobs far from home lol (already have an offer locked down, so i can afford to be picky about offers)

edit: but i think that everyone should do what they want, i personally dont want to live with my family and our relationship has improved a ton since i went off to uni, i think that living under the same roof eroded our relationship a lot so it's just not something that i want

 

[-Blue-]

Situations such at this wouldn't be such an issue if it weren't for how corporate America has its greedy fingers over the pulse of society. They literally caused most of these situations that they are trying to shame, by paying people willing to work and put the time out less than what unemployment offers.

Now, I'm not saying there aren't other reasons for said topic, but I feel like this is the glaringly obvious one. And the sooner the older generations realize this (since they're the ones to usually open their mouth about it/which they probably won't and we will have to wait for them to die off) things won't be getting any better.

The government/older generations tell people to pull themselves up by the bootstraps, but then steal their boots and straps. Like health care is not cheap and it's free in so many other places. Living on your own and then getting a illness that you need to cover on your own, with 60% of some jobs these days is not possible. You're screwed.

My sister's health insurance barely covered anything for a serious illness she had. I had to help her out 'by pulling myself up by my bootstraps' by taking on a side job. I don't want to get into the specifics, but what I was doing was not illegal at all, but the county came down on me after a few years of trying to cover expenses from that and keeping our heads above the water and shut it down.

But like I'm supposed to respect my government, when they shame people for having to live in full houses so they don't wind up homeless, have allowed things to get as out of hand as they have, pay workers a pittance when they were holding the states together when they pooping their beds amidst the pandemic, and when they can't make affordable health care to the point I had to work those years away just to barely get my sister by?

Nah, we all know who needs to be shamed.

 

[dizzy bone]

I'm 30 and I still live with my parents, but where I'm from (Korea/Cambodia but also most of Asia too?) it's the norm to live with your parents until you are married. Even after marriage families will often live together in one house - that's the definition of success and comfort here. I've never been pressured to move out (or get married quickly and move out) and my parents prefer that our family lives together. I live with my dad now, but he isn't strict or controlling so it doesn't really matter to me. I also want to take care of my dad who is really old. I don't actually have the greatest relationship with him, but we both have our own spaces and respect each others privacy. If I were to move back to Korea, I'd have to stay with my mom as well because the rent is really high unless I want to sacrifice comfort and space. I do prefer living alone or with room mates but my family has a lot of financial issues right now so it just makes sense that we're just all in one house. I saw the pressure my friends experienced to move out and get their life together at a certain age when I was living in the US and it got to me a little too, but my parents never pressured me in that sense, so I felt a lot more comfortable moving back in with them. I'm lucky though, that my house gives each of us a lot of privacy (my bro lives on the 3rd floor and my dad and I live on the 2nd floor). Sometimes it feels like I'm living in a studio apartment lol.

 

[squidney]

I went away for college @ 17 but I was close by so I came home on the weekends to work. Fast forward 4/5 years and now I have my own apartment! It usually helps relationships with parents if you move out, but of course every family is different. I got a corporate job and now I have the freedom to move where ever I want. I realized last year that I am FREE! I can go where ever I like and explore the world!

Post automatically merged: Mar 18, 2022

i turned 21 a few months ago and live with my mom and siblings.
it’s really only because i live in southern california (disgustingly overpriced) and don’t have the funds saved to move out yet.
sadly even though i’ve considered moving to another state, i don’t think i could stomach it because i love where i grew up too much and can’t imagine living permanently anywhere else.
i would love to be living on my own and fantasize about it every day pretty much haha.
it’s okay for now though because i do love my family, but i yearn for the day that i can have a space to decorate as i please and call my own. hoping to have enough to move out in the next year or so though, which would be a dream.
i don’t judge anyone who still lives with their parent/parents at all. it’s hard out here to make a living, let alone making enough to independently support yourself. hats off to anyone who’s able to through sheer hard work alone, it’s a serious feat. but of course i will never look down on those who have it harder.

Holy crap I was in the same situation. I got super sick when I was 19 so I had to stay with my mom in southern cali for another year or 2. I moved up north where the rent is wayyy more manageable. a 1 bedroom apartment in my city was prob 2200? And where I am at it is 1100!