Losing/putting down a pet for the first time...

[Imbri]

I know what you're going through. A year and a half ago, I had to face that same decision with my cat, Blaze. He was 18 and we had been treating him for chronic renal failure for a year and a half; my vet told me that that's actually common among older cats, because their systems just tire out. I did the special food and fluid injections every day, as well as medication. The last 6 months, we stopped it because he ran when he saw me with the IV, and lost interest in the food. I wasn't going to make his last months that miserable. He did lose weight, going from about 11 pounds to just shy of 9 in that last time, as well as started having seizures.

Letting him go was the hardest thing I've ever done, but it was the right thing to do. He was ready (they'll tell you when it's time), and I was with him right to the end. The last thing he saw, heard, and felt was me, so he passed knowing how much he was loved. I had him cremated, and his ashes sit in a very nice wood box. The vet also had a cast of his paw print made for me, which I love. Both are currently on my mantel.

It does hurt, but as others have said, it gets better and you start to just remember the good times - how much you loved Molly and she loved you. Perhaps you'll adopt another kitten, not to take Molly's place, but to give a good home and lots of love, just like Molly had.

 

[marzipanmermaid]

Thank you everyone for your replies; I know I've been AWOL again, but I've been checking in just to read what you lovely people have to say about this. I've just been too sad to reply; I'm so sorry for everyone's losses... But thank you for taking the time to share them with me and the reassuring comments/messages I've been receiving since posting this. You've all been getting me through one of the worst times ever and I'm so appreciative. I've been trying to keep busy because I'll know I'll end up making myself sick over this. She's been having less accidents; she just relies on me to take her to the catbox when she starts crying and walking around. Which is getting easier because I can kind of tell the difference between hungry meows, attention meows, and the bathroom ones. She's been sleeping more and more with me, which is a nice comfort for both of us. She really likes her renal diet food! Which was a big surprise, but I'm happy that she's happier.

I know what you're going through. A year and a half ago, I had to face that same decision with my cat, Blaze. He was 18 and we had been treating him for chronic renal failure for a year and a half; my vet told me that that's actually common among older cats, because their systems just tire out. I did the special food and fluid injections every day, as well as medication. The last 6 months, we stopped it because he ran when he saw me with the IV, and lost interest in the food. I wasn't going to make his last months that miserable. He did lose weight, going from about 11 pounds to just shy of 9 in that last time, as well as started having seizures.

Letting him go was the hardest thing I've ever done, but it was the right thing to do. He was ready (they'll tell you when it's time), and I was with him right to the end. The last thing he saw, heard, and felt was me, so he passed knowing how much he was loved. I had him cremated, and his ashes sit in a very nice wood box. The vet also had a cast of his paw print made for me, which I love. Both are currently on my mantel.

It does hurt, but as others have said, it gets better and you start to just remember the good times - how much you loved Molly and she loved you. Perhaps you'll adopt another kitten, not to take Molly's place, but to give a good home and lots of love, just like Molly had.

Thank you for this. You have no idea how comforting this was.
I'm so sad for your loss; Blaze was a sweet ol' thing...
I have questions considering our similar situation, but I don't want to bring up any hurt for you.

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And like Binkie I do intend to get a tattoo in Nukkka's honor, I saw a really cute idea where someone got the foot prints and a tail of a rat and I wanted to get it on my shoulder like she was still sitting on my shoulder.

I've been thinking about getting a tattoo for Molly was well, just not sure what yet.
Probably a little cat that looks like her and a sun, since I used to sing "You Are My Sunshine" to her when she first came home from the shelters to help her sleep.

I'm so sorry about Nukkka. :/

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ive lost so many pets to cars its ridiculous

That used to be one of my biggest fears when I lived on the military base.
I'm so sorry to hear that, puppy.
My mum lost a lot to the road too and it's just horrible.
I always get upset seeing any animal on the road.

 

[kenna]

I actually had to put my cat down on the 1st, also from kidney failure. He would have been 9 in June and I love and miss him dearly, but I believe we did the right thing. In the span of a few days he stopped eating and drinking, he was very lethargic, and did nothing but sit and zone out. His meows were different, and he was all around just very uncomfortable and in pain. He had just had his leg amputated at the end of last year and now to try and do more treatment that might not even work wasn't worth it and wouldn't have been fair to him. When we had blood work done, it came back and said his BUN levels were 169 when they should be between 14-36. I've been taking it surprisingly well, mostly because I think it was the right thing to do. Good luck with your cat, and I wish for the best.

 

[marzipanmermaid]

Being a vet nurse I deal with sick animals and euthanasia all the time. You can be there when she is being put to sleep if you wish to do so. The process is pretty quick and the most humane method, rather than having an animal suffer right up until its last moment. 19 years is a very long time, my auntie's cat was around that age when she passed away a few weeks ago.

The vet is right though, it is because of old age. One of our clinic cats Bella was very old and became very skinny in her old age. It got to the point where she was no longer eating so we had to put her to sleep.

I've lost many pets before, through illness, old age and euthanasia. It's never easy, no matter what animal it is, they all hold a very special place in my heart. Remembering that they aren't really gone when they pass away, they are still there with you.

Have you considered cremation? I think it's well worth the money. I also like to keep a lock of hair from each of my animals.

Keep monitoring her and ensuring that she is eating, drinking and still passing urine/faeces.

Thank you, pippy.
I was too upset to really ask the vet when she called; I already felt so bad asking how much it costs.
I've been monitoring her every day since; she hasn't passed any feces? But I've gotten her to finally urinate and in her box.

I think my mum had already had her heart set on cremation; I'm hoping to get one of those memorial pet necklaces that are listed on etsy that sometimes turn your pets ashes into stones or little pieces so you can carry them with you always. But then I started worrying that might mean she doesn't get to move on? I don't want her buried in the backyard... The kids in the neighborhood wouldn't let her get any peace and we have a lot of coyotes.

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I actually had to put my cat down on the 1st, also from kidney failure. He would have been 9 in June and I love and miss him dearly, but I believe we did the right thing. In the span of a few days he stopped eating and drinking, he was very lethargic, and did nothing but sit and zone out. His meows were different, and he was all around just very uncomfortable and in pain. He had just had his leg amputated at the end of last year and now to try and do more treatment that might not even work wasn't worth it and wouldn't have been fair to him. When we had blood work done, it came back and said his BUN levels were 169 when they should be between 14-36. I've been taking it surprisingly well, mostly because I think it was the right thing to do. Good luck with your cat, and I wish for the best.

I'm so sorry for your loss.
Poor little thing... I'm so glad he's not suffering anymore and that he had your love.
Thank you for your kind words; my heart goes out to you.

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Thank you everyone. <3
Again, I keep going back to reading everything and my heart is heavy/at ease all at the same time.

 

[kazyrock]

I had a cat named daisy. I had her for almost 9 years and got her when she was a kitten. I remember me wishing on dandelions to get a little kitten for Christmas and I remember how amazing it felt to see her crawl out from under the tree that year. She was pure black and tiny. She wasn't cuddly, which was why I loved her so much. She had this crazy personality where she didn't like to be touched unless it was the top of her head and would scratch you if you dared to touch her anywhere else! Sometimes, she would bring "gifts" which would vary between mice, birds, squirrels and sometimes even rabbits. She would place them under the swings in our backyard for us to discover. Every night, she would jump onto my bed and fall asleep, purring away. But if you moved your feet she would attack them. Which I guess was a good way to get me to fall asleep, lie as still as you can and pray the cat won't attack your feet.
Anyways, she had two litters of kittens which were mostly black. I kept one named Panther, who I still have. She is all black and is a lot more vocal and cuddly than her mom.
Exactly one year ago though, daisy went missing. We didn't think much of it, as they are both outdoor cats. But as days passed, I became very worried. We put up missing cat signs all throughout the neighbourhoods, hoping someone had seen her. But it was no use. We started asking around, and someone across the street said that a few weeks ago his two cats had gona missing too. We didn't know what to do, because really what can you do? The city wouldn't give us any leads when we brought up the idea of someone renting cat traps. And none of the cats were returning. We started keeping Panther, her daughter inside in fears of losing her too. She took this very badly, and would sit at the front door for hours. Just meowing and meowing.
When my friends would come over, we would skateboard down the streets calling her name and setting food out hoping it would help her come home.
A little while later, my dad was walking down the street. On the side of the road by a gutter, he saw very subtly placed cans of fish such as clams and tuna. Just sitting there, opened. He thought that maybe the cats were poisoned, since Daisy loved fish and would definitely eat them.
we never saw daisy again, but I just hope that if she died, it was on her own terms and not those of a horrible person.

A year later, every time I see a black cat walk by I take a second glance to see if it is daisy.

 

[Imbri]

Thank you for this. You have no idea how comforting this was.
I'm so sad for your loss; Blaze was a sweet ol' thing...
I have questions considering our similar situation, but I don't want to bring up any hurt for you.

I've had some time go by, so I am able to talk about him without falling to pieces. If I can help you, feel free to ask away.

 

[marzipanmermaid]

I've had some time go by, so I am able to talk about him without falling to pieces. If I can help you, feel free to ask away.

You are so lovely; I'll PM you now. <3

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I had a cat named daisy. I had her for almost 9 years and got her when she was a kitten. I remember me wishing on dandelions to get a little kitten for Christmas and I remember how amazing it felt to see her crawl out from under the tree that year. She was pure black and tiny. She wasn't cuddly, which was why I loved her so much. She had this crazy personality where she didn't like to be touched unless it was the top of her head and would scratch you if you dared to touch her anywhere else! Sometimes, she would bring "gifts" which would vary between mice, birds, squirrels and sometimes even rabbits. She would place them under the swings in our backyard for us to discover. Every night, she would jump onto my bed and fall asleep, purring away. But if you moved your feet she would attack them. Which I guess was a good way to get me to fall asleep, lie as still as you can and pray the cat won't attack your feet.
Anyways, she had two litters of kittens which were mostly black. I kept one named Panther, who I still have. She is all black and is a lot more vocal and cuddly than her mom.
Exactly one year ago though, daisy went missing. We didn't think much of it, as they are both outdoor cats. But as days passed, I became very worried. We put up missing cat signs all throughout the neighbourhoods, hoping someone had seen her. But it was no use. We started asking around, and someone across the street said that a few weeks ago his two cats had gona missing too. We didn't know what to do, because really what can you do? The city wouldn't give us any leads when we brought up the idea of someone renting cat traps. And none of the cats were returning. We started keeping Panther, her daughter inside in fears of losing her too. She took this very badly, and would sit at the front door for hours. Just meowing and meowing.
When my friends would come over, we would skateboard down the streets calling her name and setting food out hoping it would help her come home.
A little while later, my dad was walking down the street. On the side of the road by a gutter, he saw very subtly placed cans of fish such as clams and tuna. Just sitting there, opened. He thought that maybe the cats were poisoned, since Daisy loved fish and would definitely eat them.
we never saw daisy again, but I just hope that if she died, it was on her own terms and not those of a horrible person.

A year later, every time I see a black cat walk by I take a second glance to see if it is daisy.

Aw... That's so sad... The unknowing part of it makes it worse. :/
I'm sorry about Daisy; I'm glad you still have Panther though. You'll always have that part of Daisy in your life.
I hate that people poison strays and pets like that; it happened here with a neighbor's dog and some hotdogs soaked in Anti-freeze.

 

[kazyrock]

You are so lovely; I'll PM you now. <3

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Aw... That's so sad... The unknowing part of it makes it worse. :/
I'm sorry about Daisy; I'm glad you still have Panther though. You'll always have that part of Daisy in your life.
I hate that people poison strays and pets like that; it happened here with a neighbor's dog and some hotdogs soaked in Anti-freeze.

Thats terrible about the hotdogs! I don't understand the logic. These pets mean a lot to someone and to just kill them for one's satisfaction?! I don't understand.