need advice

[seularin]

asking her since i don't feel like going on reddit or talking w/ someone irl rn

tw // mentions of self harm, su*cide

i'm apart of stan twitter, which is already a big yikes; every time i go on there i go to sleep crying bc i know i can't escape it; and i know it ridiculous but it's like my drug. i know it's not good for my mental health but i'm just too up in my pride there to suddenly leave. all the drama, toxicity, it's just messing with me and i slowly wanna die sometimes. i don't know why i'm like this, i can't bring myself to leave bc i know i'll get tweeted about and clowned by all the people who know me there.

the gc i'm in is just filled with problematic people and i hate that i'm one of them, i legit can't breathe when i go on there. it hurts 'cause i know i'll get clowned by them if i talk abt my feelings; i literally can't escape it no matter how many times i try or tell myself 'you're ok, pick yourself up coward'. and if i try to talk abt my feelings i'm always labeled dramatic or attention seeker and i'm just so ****ing done with everything that i just don't wanna exist anymore. i've even tried to end it all at one point after all these cuts. someone take my phone away from me, please

i don't want pity, just advice

 

[Mariah]

I have no idea who Stan is but please see a therapist.

 

[seularin]

I have no idea who Stan is but please see a therapist.

stan's another word for fan, tried seeing one but i hate talking abt these things irl

 

[Mariah]

stan's another word for fan, tried seeing one but i hate talking abt these things irl

See an online therapist. There are so many options these days. Video chats, emails, chat rooms. I don’t know how old you are, but I’m assuming a teenager. There are groups for teens that meet in person or online too.

 

[Xeleron]

I don't use Reddit much, so I'm a bit confused. All I know OP is that people tend to be very different behind a keyboard than irl, and maybe that's how they are deep down but a lot of the things they say hiding behind pixels are things they would never say to your face. I would just ignore them tbh, I know it's hard, but you should take their comments with a grain of salt especially if they're making you consider that ending your life would put a stop to their words. Why do these people that have a negative impact on your life have access to your Twitter?

I agree with Mariah, there are also many hotlines you could call and online resources, it's not that we don't want to help, at least not in my case, but I'm not a professional and I don't want to say someone something that will negatively influence you.

Also, I don't think you're a coward, why would you say that? Being upset is in out nature, it's part of what makes us human, we just need to learn to overcome our hurdles in order to succeed on move on.

 

[BalloonFight]

I'd definitely recommend seeing an online therapist, or calling one of the hotlines that specialize in this aspect. It's definitely common to not want to talk about these sort of things IRL as they are taboo and people judge about it, but it's *absolutely* for the best. You don't want to go your entire life having such negative thoughts 24/7.

If the people in that community are going to make fun of you for leaving, why would you want to be there in the first place? It sounds like it's just a cycle of negativity and such. I don't know really anything about it, but I'm guessing if they would tweet about it or whatever, you could just block them on twitter. If you're afraid of what they'd do (talking about it on social media etc.) they aren't your friends.

It does sound like you're young. Just know that standing up for yourself (in this case, leaving a "community" that is only toxic), is NOT a coward thing to do. It's the most respectable thing one can do. Mental health is extremely important, and if you're in a cycle of depression, take steps to stop that. Life is long, and when you put this behind you, you will be extremely happy that you stood up for yourself, and took the right steps.

 

[ting1984]

Hi OP. Very sorry to hear of your experiences, which are all too common on social media in this day and age.

In addition to doing therapy, as some have mentioned here, I'd highly suggest leaving those online communities. I've recently left all social media, except for forums of hobbies I do (video games and sports cards), because it's just too easy for things to go wrong online. I couldn't even find solace in a Discord chat for the denomination of church I was attending; it was a disaster. I didn't get along with the 'pastor' who ran it, or any of the regulars who posted the most on there. It also ended up causing some conflicts with the local church I went to. I'm now moving onto another church denomination, the one where I was baptized long ago. They don't have a large Internet presence, so that helps a lot.

In short, social media is mostly terrible. I find myself in a much better place, mentally, by not engaging like I used to. I'm one of the older ones here who grew up in an era where social media wasn't a major thing yet (though there were online chats and forums), and mental health was better in those days. Not saying we didn't have problems, but social media has definitely amplified everything in recent years. I'm not surprised at all that the under-30 crowd has seen a dramatic spike in mental health concerns. I'm older, and even I can't handle much social media! :|

 

[Corrie]

If you leave Twitter then who cares if they make fun of you? You won't be there to see their comments! I think you need to take a break from there. Log off for a day or two to get your mind clearer.

 

[Chris]

Cut these people out of your life. Don't announce that you're leaving - just do it. You don't owe them an explanation.

 

[Lightspring]

This. My friend is going through the exact same thing. You don’t owe toxic people an explanation on leaving, just do it.

 

[Uffe]

You're obsessed. You need to suck up your pride and move on. They clearly think less of you, thinking you're dramatic or an attention seeker. Why would you want or need validation from them in the first place? Those aren't friends. Friends don't belittle one another. If anything, they'd have your back and be concerned. Forget the drama, too. Nothing good ever comes from that. It's so easy to be negative and to seek negativity. If you know these people in person, then it may be more difficult to cut them out of your life, but if they're just people you don't know, then they're not worth your time. And don't call yourself a coward. Don't call yourself anything negative. That mindset doesn't help you. You've already got people who belittle you, you don't need to shoot yourself in the foot.

It's already been suggested, and I agree. You should try to get yourself a therapist. Don't let your pride get in that way of that. You deserve better, and you deserve to be happy. This may especially help you if you're too afraid to express your feelings to friends or family, because a therapist has to keep your information confidential. You can get away from Twitter, and you can get away from those *******s. The only person keeping you there is you, and it is for you to make the right choice. Taking your life would hurt the people who love you, so don't even consider self-harm or su*cide. Be strong and get some help.

 

[OtakuTrash]

It's going to be ok! You don't have to deal with these people. If you leave, you don't need to tell them. The people who were mean probably just want to get you down to satysfy themselves. You should talk to a theripist.

 

[SpaceTokki77]

Yeah, people tend to say things to people behind a screen that they wouldn't say to you in real life. I would say to get a therapist or talk to a sibling/parent/close friend that would be able to really help you. You should also probably take a break from twitter. If it's making you this upset, just leave. If you leave, you won't be able to see what they say. The people who are mean on there are probably doing it to make them feel better about themselves by making someone else feel worse.

 

[Bowie]

I was on stan Twitter for a while. I quit around half a year ago and it’s been super beneficial for me (but also kind of bad because it’s making me go back to my old anxiety habit of not being able to do anything at all online without getting the impulse to delete it after a few hours). Didn’t help much that my stan account of 6 years got suspended for no reason.

I hope you feel better soon. I know what it’s like to suffer with suicidal feelings and even self-harm, and it’s hard to push through but you will get there in the end!

 

[Damniel]

there are suicide/mental health crisis hotlines that you can always call anonymously, if you don’t want to talk about things in person

im not on twitter but i recently deleted instagram and its felt great not needing to worry about people i frankly don’t care about and don’t care about me

the people you seem to be talking to on twitter sound insignificant and pathetic. if you’re going to make fun of you for leaving, then they’re always going to make fun of you because they’re petty and that’s what they do for entertainment. you don’t need to try to please them because they’re not worth trying to please. i would honestly just leave the group and no say anything, why care about them

quitting social media cold turkey can be very difficult. if you don’t think you can do that, try to at least delete your current account and maybe just create a new one and avoid that group. there’s different ways you can transition out of it though so do what works for you

you could also try looking for non-twitter forums/sites for your interests but whatever you do id suggest dumping those thrash people

 

[Dawnpiplup]

Hey. <3 Just wanna say that I know what it's like to have those thoughts. I've been there before. You're gonna get through this, love.

Secondly, those people who belittle you just because you want to vent or open up about your feelings aren't worth a lick of your time. They have no right to be cruel and unsympathetic like that. Do yourself a favor and leave them behind. No need for a farewell message. Just leave. You've got us to count on, alright? We've got your back love. You can do better without the likes of them.

 

[SinnerTheCat]

First of all, you're so brave for reaching out about this, honestly, I'm super proud of you that you have already realized what is the problem.

Yknow, anything toxic can be very addictive. The unpredictability of it, the fact that you can be a part of a closed group which is somehow up in the made-up hierarchy is a big adrenaline and pride source. But it's not worth it in the long run, these people are not your friends, no matter how much they pretend they do. Friends wouldn't bash on you for your feelings.
I think leaving these people would be the best option, but I know that quitting twitter may sound like the hardest thing for you rn and that's super valid!! You're in a situation that makes it feel like that, but please remember that you can break the cycle. You're absolutely not a coward for these feelings. Moving on is hard, but you can do this, I believe in you!

Sending you much love