One time.. Dad stories

[Pyoopi]

If you don't have a dad, then share about your uncle, grandpa, step-dad, whatever, you name it!

Spoiler: The story about lizard armpits

One time during a family vacation, my dad gave me advice to 9 year old self how to catch the geckos on the island of Maui. He told me that I should grab them by the armpits because they'll never see it coming! I thought that was great advice, and I ran outside to grab some gecko armpits. I found this big ol' lizard sunbathing, snuck up and grabbed it under its little arms.

I felt very proud until the lizard, stopped, stared in my direction then whipped its head around about to bite my thumb knuckle. I screamed and dropped it, then ran instead very upset at my dad. I remember my he went, "Did you catch any?!" and I said, "NO IT TRIED TO BITE ME".

"Well you must've grabbed the wrong one."

Thanks Dad.

What about you? Share your funny Dad stories.

 

[carp]

my dad (before we bought a car) walked 10 miles in the pouring rain to buy a blanket my mum said she liked in a shop about a month before, and came back after about 5/6 hours with the blanket all nicely wrapped up in wrapping paper he had also bought and my mum was so pleased and we put it under the christmas tree.

christmas day rolls round, and my mum opens up said gift. the blanket was bright pink. we found out that day that my dad is pink/yellow colour blind, and so had bought a bright magenta blanket instead of a beautifully peachy yellow one. we still use the blanket despite it's agonizingly bright colours, and my dad is no longer relied upon for picking colours.

 

[Pyoopi]

my dad (before we bought a car) walked 10 miles in the pouring rain to buy a blanket my mum said she liked in a shop about a month before, and came back after about 5/6 hours with the blanket all nicely wrapped up in wrapping paper he had also bought and my mum was so pleased and we put it under the christmas tree.

christmas day rolls round, and my mum opens up said gift. the blanket was bright pink. we found out that day that my dad is pink/yellow colour blind, and so had bought a bright magenta blanket instead of a beautifully peachy yellow one. we still use the blanket despite it's agonizingly bright colours, and my dad is no longer relied upon for picking colours.

Aww! That's such a sweet and funny story. He's quite a trooper for walking 10 miles in the rain. That's pretty intense thing to do. Well, it's the thought that counts and any blanket is a good blanket. He tried.

 

[boujee]

Well me and my dad started a game of hide and seek 17 years ago. Still haven't found him yet.

 

[helenkeller]

My dad is a musician. He makes CDs of all of the songs he plays, which is a million different songs. He makes them all the time, so I didn't see this coming at all.

He made a CD of all the songs him and his friends were learning together, and after half way through the classic rock music "IM THE TYPE OF GIRL YA WANNA CHEW ALL UP MY BUBBLEGUM, IM THE TYPE A GIRL YA WANNA TAKE TO YA MAMA HOUSE, T-T-T-TAKE TO YOUR MAMMA HOUSE"

Once we were taking my parrot to the vet. She is in the basement in my brothers room now, they're one people animals, and he connects with her the best. She hates me and my dad, but likes my mom and brother... But my brother was at work, so it was just us LMAO. I hear "OW IM ALWAYS NICE TO YOU, YOU RAT!" and my bird just said back to him.. "I'm going out".

My dad watches a lot of south park. One day he learned the magical word "queef"... He woke me up for school by loudly opening my door and yelling "LETS GET UP AND GET READY IM WAKING YOU UP BECAUSE YOUR MOM IS QUEEFING TOO MUCH" then my brothers room.. "QUEEF TIME TO GET UP" then I get up, and I'm getting dressed, and he's like "Damn stop queefing so loud" she woke up this time and she was like "god dammit Michael!" (she hiddem with the full name and not just "mike" HAHA)

Another copying south park story: He told my mom she was muff cabbage (she hates south park she usually leaves the room if he watches it, so she doesn't know he's south park referencing her until we say it lmao)
She was like "Stop calling me that dammit I don't even know what that is!" he was just like "Its a jersey thing" LMFAO

I am the youngest of five kids. Three are from his previous marriage. One isn't blood related, he's on her birth certificate and raised her like his own (just for her to ignore him now for her blood dad.. freaking hate her). The other two are half siblings, one we don't talk to because of something that happened, the other one has kids my age and lives out of state.
So it's just me and my brother who are only 2 yrs apart.
I was watching tv and he came up to me and said "I love ya girl. I wish your sisters were more like you. They might be way older but I wish they turned out like you.... you're PERFECT" He hugged me, kissed me, then gave me a coke and twenty dollars... <3

Omg, sorry if this was too much but my dad is the epitome of perfect. I love him. He is so funny.

 

[tumut]

Too long didn't read


My dad left the country when I was born so he didn't have to pay child support. It's cool though.

 

[ok.sean]

hes a meteorologist for the nightly news where i live and he put me on the news when i was 5 it was a good time