Ratting out a cheater?

[UglyMonsterFace]

For me, it depends. If I am close to the cheater but not their partner, I will confront my friend to come clean. I don't know if I would say anything to the other person if I don't know them, but I would let my friend know that our friendship is done if they don't say anything because I can't respect a dishonest person. If I'm not close to the cheater, but I'm close to the partner, then I would definitely say something after *maybe* giving the cheater a chance to come clean themselves. It's always better to hear this from your partner and not an outsider so I would prefer if they told them themselves. If I'm not close to either person, I might go ahead and tell them anyway, without giving the cheater a chance to come clean.

But to be honest, it really depends on the situation. Every case is different so I would just use my best judgment to assess what the best course of action to take would be where less people are hurt.

 

[BlueBear]

My ex was some guy I met at work and we were together for 9 months BEFORE I found out he had a girlfriend of 8 years. Nobody knew, he was living a complete double life. His girlfriend was from the Philippines and had funnily enough gone home to visit family for a few months so when I was always over his house there was no evidence of another girl living there since she took most of the stuff and I guess he hid the rest. During this time we also went on holidays together and everythng, he met my family and even long distance relatives when I took him down to South Wales to watch Rugby lol.
You better believe I told her as soon as I found out.. did a bit of “research” and knew somebody that happened to work with her so I got her number, not just for her but for me as it was the best way for me deal with the situation as I was hurting too, albeit not as much as her.
She blamed me, AFTER telling me he’s done it to her before but you know it was all my fault despite me not knowing.
AAAAND she’s forgave him... so you know was kinda pointless even bothered to tell her .
Needless to say he quit his job and we cut off all contact. It still makes me angry now.

 

[Mr. Cat]

Always. ALWAYS. tell the person. They DO NOT deserve to go on like this.

I always hoped that if I was cheated on that somebody would have the decency to tell me! It may not be your buisiness, but you're doing the person the biggest favor that you could possibly do, even if it breaks their heart. The longer it goes on for, the worse it will be.

 

[Rhapsody]

Absolutely. I don't know why the cheater is cheating, but it doesn't matter; their partner deserves to know. Simply put, cheating is never a solution to resolving problems within your relationship, and it's far better to simply come clean if you're having intimacy issues or if you feel the relationship isn't working out. I'll give them an ultimatum: they can out themselves first, or I will within x time frame. If they do it themselves, it will make it more likely they can work it out and figure out a solution; if I out them myself, it's more likely ties will be cut off completely. I'm giving them a chance in this scenario to own up to their own mistakes. If they don't, I'm not enabling their behavior.

I saw earlier a comment about an abusive situation, and my response to that is cheating is still not a good thing to do in an abusive situation, because then you can worsen the abuse on yourself if you're caught. It's still better then to work out an escape plan from the abusive situation first before you pursue any other relationships.

 

[duckykate]

of course i would, even if it means ruining a friendship or something. cheaters are literal scum of the earth honestly

 

[lunatepic]

if they were family/close friends i suppose i would, but i don't really want to poke my nose around strangers' affairs. it's not really my place to do so and i don't like getting involved in drama.

 

[honeyaura]

My ex was some guy I met at work and we were together for 9 months BEFORE I found out he had a girlfriend of 8 years. Nobody knew, he was living a complete double life. His girlfriend was from the Philippines and had funnily enough gone home to visit family for a few months so when I was always over his house there was no evidence of another girl living there since she took most of the stuff and I guess he hid the rest. During this time we also went on holidays together and everythng, he met my family and even long distance relatives when I took him down to South Wales to watch Rugby lol.
You better believe I told her as soon as I found out.. did a bit of “research” and knew somebody that happened to work with her so I got her number, not just for her but for me as it was the best way for me deal with the situation as I was hurting too, albeit not as much as her.
She blamed me, AFTER telling me he’s done it to her before but you know it was all my fault despite me not knowing.
AAAAND she’s forgave him... so you know was kinda pointless even bothered to tell her .
Needless to say he quit his job and we cut off all contact. It still makes me angry now.

Ugh I'm so sorry. At least you discovered it before it went further than that?

 

[Croconaw]

Cheating is something that is really personal to me. I have been cheated on three times by the same girl. Since then, I have known how much it hurts. The terrible thing was I knew I was being cheated on, and I stayed with her anyway because I liked the thought that someone cared about me. It was dumb, I know. However, yeah, I would love if someone made me aware of the cheating. I wouldn?t get mad af the person. I would just ask questions about who it was, what was going on, etc...

 

[Midoriya]

Yes. If you’re going to do it, do it right the first time.

 

[matt]

I like to grass and snitch cheaters up I can't stand cheaters

 

[MasterM64]

If I found that someone was cheating on their significant other, I of course would rat them out because that is simply unfair when they are supposed to be in a committed relationship. If they really want to switch things up, they need to be responsible and break it off officially before starting another relationship. I do realize people can make mistakes, but that doesn't make cheating right regardless of the circumstance.

 

[cornimer]

Yes if I found out that someone was cheating on their partner I would rat them out. The person being cheated on deserves to know the truth and I would probably feel worse withholding the information. Imagine finding out not only that your SO was cheating on you, but that your friends knew and didn't tell you. My family was destroyed by cheating so I have no tolerance for it.

 

[Lancelot]

I thought this meant monopoly or something

If it was a close friend PROBABLY, but at the right time and not unless I was 100 percent sure because some people will definitely have negative reactions.

If it was a stranger no. None of my business

 

[Midoriya]

Wow, why did I think this meant cheating on like a math test or something all this time LOL. Didn’t realize the OP meant cheating as in relationships. To be fair, the question of this thread and in the OP is very ambiguous and not clearly defined what they’re asking about.

Well, my previous answer still stands anyway.

 

[John Wick]

Infidelity is a line you cross that you can't come back from.

Unforgivable.
They will do it again.

I have outed cheaters to their wives who deserved to know the truth, so they could get out of that toxic cycle, and find their true mate.

One who will remain faithful.

 

[Blood Eclipse]

I wouldn't be able to sleep at night hiding a truth so damaging and letting it advance to worse. Whether that friend decides to believe what I'm telling them or not would be up to them—I can't force them to believe me either (though I wonder if you can truly call it a friendship if there isn't any trust among you) and whether they act upon that truth is a whole other matter. I've known couples that already knew their significant other was cheating on them, but they decide to remain with them, nonetheless, because they're either completely infatuated, have kids together or think they can never find someone else and I still don't know what to say to that.

 

[Romaki]

I don't support cheating and I'll always tell my friends and close acquaintances everything I feel like they need to know, but if my friend is the cheater and I don't know their partner I'm not going to seek them out to tell them. I'd tell my friend to come clean or end the friendship if they see no problem with what they're doing, but the situation could be more complicated than what I know.

In the end, I really think it depends on whether it's your place to say something. If your friend is getting cheated on and you know it, you should definitely say something. Maybe confront the cheater first and make them tell it, but always have your friends' back. Help them live a better life.

 

[Tianna]

Tbh it depends what they're cheating on. Homework? Test? Hell ya. Unless it's my friend or something LOL THEN GO AHEAD, MON AMIE

Cheating in a relationship? Excuse me, who do you think you freaking are? If you're so unhappy in the relationship, LEAVE. Also I am telling your partner that you cheated on them.

Cheating in a game? AHAHA GO AHEAD- XD

 

[demoness]

not that altruistic. i think my friends are capable enough and if they want my input, they'll ask. like my moral hang-ups and platitudes won't help the situation. they never do

 

[LottieandSoul]

I thought this meant on a test so I put no, but I certainly would if it were for a relationship. People have feelings and they matter. IF my friend is cheating on a partner, maybe they aren't a good friend.