Sexual Orientation & Gender Identity Support Thread

[Brookie]

Bro, if you're bi and liking the same sex would disappoint everyone you know, just stick with the opposite sex and call yourself straight. If you can't do without the same sex, then you're gay and you should just come out. I stg it seems like most people in the lbtqwrtys community just want to rebel against what they were raised with. It's gotten so overcomplicated

If you cannot refrain from being insensitive, then please don't post in this thread. If you want to help, just accept and let the discussion thrive mainly from them even if you may not fully understand. You don't know what it feels like as a cishet/straight person. This thread is called support for a reason. Invalidating is not part of that. I don't know if you knew you sounded that way, so sorry if you didn't.

I know this may be your opinion, but that's no excuse to come in here and invalidate the community. Let's keep it supportive in here, shall we?

 

[brutalitea]

Thank you for making a new thread Tina. I'm in a really uncomfortable position as it is questioning if I'm bi or ace or maybe straight or what with literally no support considering my family is 100% homophobic transphobic lgbtphobic etc so I have no clue where to begin or even what to do, and all the discussion threads on here seemed really hateful (especially considering I'm probably bi/ace, which made it even more uncomfortable), so I appreciate setting some guidelines and rules down. I'm still super uncomfortable with myself and really scared about even thinking about coming out so I probably won't really "join" the community for a while but I definitely appreciate knowing it's not a toxic area of on this site anymore.

You can join the community without outing yourself IRL thanks to the internet. You can join the community without knowing what label fits you best. There hundreds of resources online you can peruse. Asexuality.org for example. Autostraddle for getting involved with the community (or just keeping tabs) though it's more for non-hetero woman than non-hetero men. There's good people on twitter and tumblr amidst the sea of mediocrity and bigotry.

Remember, there's no deadline where you have to figure who you are by. Don't put unnecessary pressure on yourself.

Oh, good. I'm glad I decided to wait until I joined in on these discussions. I'm not sure what happened in the last thread.

I'm nonbinary and I'm in a realtionship with a cis straight male. I basically don't pay any mind to gender at all and I also don't understand sexual attraction. I am the opposite of my partner, pretty much. I considered myself asexual for a very long time because I wasn't attracted to anybody and I was celibate (but I still always wanted a romantic relationship). Anyway, I still don't understand sexual attraction. I don't feel it at all for anybody. What confuses me though is that I still have the urge to have s** (not sure if I'm allowed to talk about that here, so I censored it, lol) just because it relieves stress and I get to bond with my partner. He always says I seem like I'm not into it and I have no desire to initiate it myself, which is actually all true. But I still enjoy it for some reason. It makes me happy knowing he likes it and I get to have his full attention for a bit. It's nice. Does that mean I'm not asexual or what...?

If you do not feel sexual attraction, you're ace. There are asexuals who enjoy sex, there are asexuals who tolerate sex, and there are asexuals who hate sex. I believe sex-positive, sex-neutral, and sex-repulsed are the terms, respectively.

 

[piichinu]

what why
that has nothing to do w sexuality or gender identity, their community has never been close to the lgbtq community, they already have a community thats uh 'working' lol. i dont even think the mogai community (aka the community that would argue that a rock is lgbtq bc it doesnt experience sexual attraction) has tried to include kin in lgbtq....
just bc something is a part of ur identity doesnt mean it is lgbtq. also factkin :||||| No Thx

ok, this is your opinion, and that is mine .

 

[Bowie]

Let's not have this thread go like the other one, please!

 

[Chris]

... s** (not sure if I'm allowed to talk about that here, so I censored it, lol) ...

You can say "sex".

lol, sometime i am sitting here thinking like, why arent otherkin , factkin, fiction kin, etc included in lgbt? i think they should, idk i dnt think otherkin are the same as a furry, so thats not an argument against what im saying...

I see it simply as a case of that otherkin has no relation to sexual orientation or gender identity, whereas that is what the LGBT+ community is about. Of course these people can identify as LGBT+ in addition to otherkin, but they are different things that don't necessarily have to have any crossover. That's just my take on it though. I can't say I've done much research on it.

Bro, if you're bi and liking the same sex would disappoint everyone you know, just stick with the opposite sex and call yourself straight. If you can't do without the same sex, then you're gay and you should just come out. I stg it seems like most people in the lbtqwrtys community just want to rebel against what they were raised with. It's gotten so overcomplicated

Sexuality isn't that black and white for a lot of people. I'm currently in a heteronormative relationship but I'd be lying if I claimed to be straight. Nor when I'm attracted to those who aren't the opposite sex do I think I'm dating someone of the wrong sex! Coming out isn't necessarily easy either, especially with a homophobic home environment like the one Lucanosa described. And if you're still exploring your sexuality, rather than knowing for certain, that makes it even harder.

There are people who claim to be LGBT+ for attention, that's certainly true, but they are the minority. So let's not make allegations like that in this thread please.

 

[skarmoury]

Ahh interesting thread! <3 Thank you having this, Tina!
Personally, I'd like to separate my orientation for sex and romance. I'm a heteroromantic, but I'm still exploring my sexual orientation (right now I'm thinking bisexual). I'm honestly uncomfortable thinking "sex" when I'm in a romantic relationship with someone, so it's just a preference to separate the two. c: To each his/her own!

I'm thankful for my parents who 100% support me no matter my orientation (like, when I was a kid I asked my parents "what if I like a girl", and they were like, "sure go on ahead kiddo, whatever makes you happy. we're happy with whatever choice as long as you pick someone worth your time"). I'm really sorry so many are struggling with homophobic or unsupportive household members and are unable to come out, but remember that it's never wrong to like anyone as long as you pick someone who you're comfortable sticking around with! <3 I can't understand why so many don't want to give basic support in terms of love. It's saddening.

 

[pawpatrolbab]

lol, sometime i am sitting here thinking like, why arent otherkin , factkin, fiction kin, etc included in lgbt? i think they should, idk i dnt think otherkin are the same as a furry, so thats not an argument against what im saying...

As someone who's otherkin, it shouldn't be included. Spiritual belief has nothing to do with sexuality/gender identity

 

[Soda Fox]

Sorry to see the other thread ended in a train wreck. I hope this one doesn't go the same route.

Anyway, I'm in a straight relationship, but once again I'm here to show my support.

 

[visibleghost]

There are people who claim to be LGBT+ for attention, that's certainly true, but they are the minority. So let's not make allegations like that in this thread please.

+ people might not be faking it, like, questioning and exploring ur identity is normal (especially in your teens) and people might identify in lots of different ways before settling for something. it can be hard to tell the difference between types of attraction (is it a Romantic Crush or a platonic "yo this person is cool" thing?) so that might cause more confusion as well.
i know i identified as bi, pan and questioning (/giving up on figuring it out lel) before coming to terms w my sexuality, and w my gender identity uh that was Wild too.

there might be some people who are faking it but honestly i don't think they're very common at all, most "fakers" are probably people who explored their sexuality/gender (maybe because it was Trendy or bc their friends did it) and identified as something that they later realized didnt fit them. idk

 

[Mr. Cat]

If you do not feel sexual attraction, you're ace. There are asexuals who enjoy sex, there are asexuals who tolerate sex, and there are asexuals who hate sex. I believe sex-positive, sex-neutral, and sex-repulsed are the terms, respectively.

Thank you! I didn't know there were different terms. This makes me feel like I'm definitely ace. I'm sex-positive and often times sex-neutral. But a lot of times I just see asexual people completely uniterested sex at all... makes me feel like I don't really belong there.

 

[visibleghost]

Thank you! I didn't know there were different terms. This makes me feel like I'm definitely ace. I'm sex-positive and often times sex-neutral. But a lot of times I just see asexual people completely uniterested sex at all... makes me feel like I don't really belong there.

there are a lot of different ppl in the ace community, some are sex repulsed, some just dont care, and some are cool w it but dont experience sexual attraction. from what i've seen the most common is to be negative or uninterested in sex so i guess it can seem like you dont "belong" there (especially because of True Aces aka the gross type of people who shame everyone for having sex and are pretty much the me an intellectual meme) but, like, u do ..

i feel kinda weird in ace spaces too because i can't relate to what most other people there experience (like romantic attraction and whatever) but uhh h idk i geuss what im trying to say is that just bc youre not like the Stereotypical ace person doesnt mean you cant be ace or talk about being ace

 

[Brookie]

Hey, guys! This is really random, but if you are a fan of Disney, you will love these news.

Elsa's voice actress, Idina Menzel, is in support of Elsa getting a girlfriend in Frozen 2: the sequel.

 

[nostalgibra]

Hey, guys! This is really random, but if you are a fan of Disney, you will love these news.

Elsa's voice actress, Idina Menzel, is in support of Elsa getting a girlfriend in Frozen 2: the sequel.

I saw a headcanon on tumblr where Elsa meets a princess from a faraway country during her royal duties who has fire powers, and falls in love with her. That would be so PERFECT! Fire and ice <3

 

[Jake]

This is a Sexual Orientation & Gender Identity Support Thread, please remember to stay on topic and try not to stray too far from the conversation. Additionally, please remember we do not allow public advertising and all advertising should remain within your signature. Thanks.

 

[Wolfie]

This thread definitely came at the right time. I been struggling with my sexuality for most of my life. I have always supported LGBTQ rights and believe everyone should love who they love, and be allowed to identify as what they feel they are. So I am gladly here to support.
I also have a dilemma of my own. I know for a fact I like guy, as I am in a relationship with a man currently and we are happy together. I have no interest in being with anyone else at all. The only issue with me really is that I have struggled with whether or not I am bisexual. I have never dated or had sex with a girl, but I have had full blown crushes on girls in the past and been sexually attracted to girls. Now I am a firm believer that you can be bisexual and still date the opposite sex, it doesn't take away from the fact that both genders attract you, just like you can date a cisgender person and still be pansexual. I just struggle with my own self that fear that if I came out as bisexual, since I have only ever been with guys, people will think I am saying it for attention. In addition, I fear if I came out now it would be inappropriate because as I said, I am in a happy relationship with a man and have no intentions on leaving. I feel like certain people may think I am trying to imply that I want to leave him for a girl, which I don't I just feel like despite me being more shy with and fearful of pursuing girls and having almost no history with girls, I feel like I am holding in a part of me that needs to be let out. My boyfriend doesn't even know of this. He is straight but very open-minded and supportive of the LGBTQ community as well.

 

[pawpatrolbab]

This is a Sexual Orientation & Gender Identity Support Thread, please remember to stay on topic and try not to stray too far from the conversation. Additionally, please remember we do not allow public advertising and all advertising should remain within your signature. Thanks.

Oops sorry, since I'm not affiliated with the site I didn't know it was advertised! Also thought this was just for LGBTQA+ folks to hang out, sorry again

 

[Corrie]

This thread definitely came at the right time. I been struggling with my sexuality for most of my life. I have always supported LGBTQ rights and believe everyone should love who they love, and be allowed to identify as what they feel they are. So I am gladly here to support.
I also have a dilemma of my own. I know for a fact I like guy, as I am in a relationship with a man currently and we are happy together. I have no interest in being with anyone else at all. The only issue with me really is that I have struggled with whether or not I am bisexual. I have never dated or had sex with a girl, but I have had full blown crushes on girls in the past and been sexually attracted to girls. Now I am a firm believer that you can be bisexual and still date the opposite sex, it doesn't take away from the fact that both genders attract you, just like you can date a cisgender person and still be pansexual. I just struggle with my own self that fear that if I came out as bisexual, since I have only ever been with guys, people will think I am saying it for attention. In addition, I fear if I came out now it would be inappropriate because as I said, I am in a happy relationship with a man and have no intentions on leaving. I feel like certain people may think I am trying to imply that I want to leave him for a girl, which I don't I just feel like despite me being more shy with and fearful of pursuing girls and having almost no history with girls, I feel like I am holding in a part of me that needs to be let out. My boyfriend doesn't even know of this. He is straight but very open-minded and supportive of the LGBTQ community as well.

I struggle with the same thing and am in the same situation as you. You don't have to come out. My plan is to just hint it until questioned. Then spill the beans. Anyone who is worth hanging out with should believe you and not think you're doing it for attention.

 

[Wolfie]

I struggle with the same thing and am in the same situation as you. You don't have to come out. My plan is to just hint it until questioned. Then spill the beans. Anyone who is worth hanging out with should believe you and not think you're doing it for attention.

This is exactly what I been doing, hinting toward it. You are right about that though, not coming out unless questioned and only people who matter will know you are telling the truth.

 

[Fearthecuteness]

This is a Sexual Orientation & Gender Identity Support Thread, please remember to stay on topic and try not to stray too far from the conversation. Additionally, please remember we do not allow public advertising and all advertising should remain within your signature. Thanks.

So who's going off topic exactly? I've only seen one topic that went off topic but Tina was even replying about it so I'm pretty sure this thread is for more general use as well as support. Also where's the advertising because I haven't seen that.
Since this is Tina's thread and she's staff shouldn't she be the one having say on what's ok to be said here?
Besides slight bumps everything's been at at peace and respecting the rules, so what's the problem?

 

[Chris]

So who's going off topic exactly? I've only seen one topic that went off topic but Tina was even replying about it so I'm pretty sure this thread is for more general use as well as support. Also where's the advertising because I haven't seen that.
Since this I Tina's thread and she's staff shouldn't she be the one having say on what's ok to be said here?
Besides slight bumps everything's been at at peace and respecting the rules, so what's the problem?

Please don't question staff taking action against posts that break the rules. Those posts have been deleted, so unless you saw them before they were deleted it doesn't matter. I can still see the content Jake removed and he was correct in doing so.