Sexual Orientation & Gender Identity Support Thread

[Vex L'Cour]

IDK why I'm doing this but IG it's because of the length of time I've been away and how I am as a person and how I identify has changed a lot over the years, even to the point of sparking controversy within the community.

I consider myself Genderfluid (I am male, but sometimes I like to "be" female) and have wrestled with this decision since I was a kid, For the longest time I just considered myself cis with female tendencies. I guess I always avoided finding a.. "LBGT" identity due to how I came to perceive the community, it's "loud majority" and it's methodology of getting it's point across, it's the same thing with why I only came out as a furry last year whilst being one for at least 7 years. I've usually found it difficult to include myself in a community where I've seen the whole "we don't discriminate" but is also very toxic and can be fairly pushy (When I used to interact with those within a few LBGT online communities they would spend days, even weeks, trying to push me into identifying as trans when I do not see myself that way, even to the point of vilifying me as a "Self hating trans"). Obviously I know this doesn't apply to everyone/everywhere which is why I finally came out with it all, but it doesn't help people who're trying to come to terms with their identities that there are a lot of places which do force this kind of stuff.

 

[Ezamoosh]

Hi all! Just ducking my head in to say hey. I'm a bonafide nonbinary trans man. I'm also aspec and bi. My name is Aaron and I use he/him pronouns.
I've done lots of work and activism in the community and make a living making art about being trans and disabled. I'm sure I don't need to explain that life as a trans person is difficult - just the other week I had the lovely experience again of having a transphobic slur shouted at me on the street. I'm not someone that subscribes to the idea of hating transness or other trans people though. Life is hard and we're all muddling through.
I've been with my very beautiful trans girlfriend for going on three years now, and she bought a switch lite so that we can play new horizons together! It's been really lovely since we're quarantined apart at the moment. She's going for a full cow island.

Nice to meet you all!

 

[SublimeDonut]

Figuring out a label that fits oneself feels so unimportant and meaningless tbh. I mean, I respect people who want that, but I can't help but wince when I come across an LGBT post that features like 50 different labels. Sounds even more menial when it comes from someone my age who like me, has no idea who they're attracted to, so with each new person they make out with, they pick up a different word for themselves.

 

[Shiluc]

Hello guys, I am somewhat new to the community, and I've been trying to figure myself out. I am cisgender and use he/him pronouns, but as of a few months ago, I finally figured out that I was gay, after previously identifying as bi/asexual for several months. I'm the only person like this in a Christian family, and support is limited after announcing my split from the faith. Yet, I've been doing well lately and my family is slowly starting to (somewhat) accept me. Happy to be here

 

[f11]

I just found out that micro dosing on testosterone is a thing??? I’m like ~nb~ but I wish I looked more masc/androgynous but the idea looking completely masculine was terrifying??? But I’m probably not gonna do any hrt until I start university this fall because my parents are like crazy lol

 

[visibleghost]

it's so cool to see a bunch of other trans/nb people on here. it's easy to feel alone when you don't know a bunch of other people who feel the same about gender.

anyway, i have an issue with my name. i stopped going by my birth name with my family five years ago when i was 15 and instead went by oliver. i still feel like that's my name but i don't want to present myself as nb/assumed cis and use a masculine name. at the same time i don't want to use my birth name because it feels like i'm gendering myself as cis if i do. but also i don't like any gender neutral names that aren't extremely common or snowflake-y. so i am having a Problem. rip

 

[trashpedia]

I am a cis gay male and I knew that since I was 11. I did come out to some of my friends until I was 13, and since the January of this year, I came out to my mom. Fortunately, my mom didn't care and was accepting, so my coming-out was as chaotic as I imagined it would be (then again we're Buddhist so it probably didn't matter anyways).

Heck, my family has been so accepting and so chill about it that some days I almost forgot I came out to them because they never really brought it up unless I brought the subject up myself.

 

[primandimproper]

I just found out that micro dosing on testosterone is a thing??? I’m like ~nb~ but I wish I looked more masc/androgynous but the idea looking completely masculine was terrifying??? But I’m probably not gonna do any hrt until I start university this fall because my parents are like crazy lol

Have you thought about just getting an androgynous hair cut and maybe some masc/gender-neutral clothes? That's how I started out way back when I was in high school and didn't even know trans guys were a thing.

 

[uboa]

For context: I'm a gay trans man living with a really transphobic Cuban family. I'm not gonna go into details but they're not supportive at all.

I'm unsure what to do considering I want to start testosterone as soon as I turn 18 this October but they don't think I have the capability of making decisions for myself and will guilt trip me and probably cut off financial support if I leave them. I have a job and I struggle with like really severe gender dysphoria. I'm unsure how to progress in my transition- they've said in the past all my family will leave me and stop loving me if I start testosterone, but it's the only thing I'm looking forwards to and it's keeping me sane. I could probably go live with someone else, but I don't know if I've been rejected or accepted by any of the universities I applied to so my future is so unstable right now. I just want to finally feel at home in my body. I'm probably gonna be able to start t I'm just nervous ig

 

[cannedcommunism]

Figuring out a label that fits oneself feels so unimportant and meaningless tbh. I mean, I respect people who want that, but I can't help but wince when I come across an LGBT post that features like 50 different labels. Sounds even more menial when it comes from someone my age who like me, has no idea who they're attracted to, so with each new person they make out with, they pick up a different word for themselves.

I really feel you there. technically you could consider me a cis gay man but I don't see the point in excessive labels since I don't date anyways and things honestly might change. I understand that sometimes people want to make sense of their attraction/gender so labels may feel comfortable, but for me they've always felt constraining because there's almost always an exception. besides, not much of my identity is based around my attraction anymore so there's just no point.

 

[Feferily]

Howdy! I’m a trans enby who doesn’t quite understand their orientation but is fine with being that weird bi aro-ace bean. I haven’t been around others in the community much anymore thanks to discourse and toxicity on tumblr and Twitter and ... yeah! I tend to stay away from things like that now.... So how’s everyone doing?

 

[Lovi]

Actually, I too stopped using twitter and tumblr because they seemed highly toxic to me, I had too many negative interactions in both spaces to keep myself using them, and isolated myself to what I knew best which was one person I was closest friends with in the end.

I consider myself aro-ace, and I was told by said person that I should be careful being honest about that on any platform because its been treated with so much severity and exclusion lately, but, I just really don't feel the need to hide after leaving those negative places behind to be honest, so... I am also gender-fluid, and prefer using they/them pronouns online.

 

[Feferily]

Actually, I too stopped using twitter and tumblr because they seemed highly toxic to me, I had too many negative interactions in both spaces to keep myself using them, and isolated myself to what I knew best which was one person I was closest friends with in the end.

I consider myself aro-ace, and I was told by said person that I should be careful being honest about that on any platform because its been treated with so much severity and exclusion lately, but, I just really don't feel the need to hide after leaving those negative places behind to be honest, so... I am also gender-fluid, and prefer using they/them pronouns online.

Yes, this is a big mood. The exclusion around aro/ace identies was wild but the outright hatred I received sometimes was even more wild. But thankfully on forums like this, things never get heated, or all that!

 

[deleted]

Oh, I didn’t even know that this thread existed!

Well, since I’m deeply closeted at home and stuck because of quarantine, I’d like to say it: I’m bisexual.

I‘m a bisexual cis female (she/her). My problem is that I go to Catholic high school in the southern USA. I’m sort of out at school to friends. My primary friend group consists of two aces, two bisexuals, two genderfluid people, and a trans male, all closeted except for one of the other bisexuals.

In fifth grade, I found myself liking girls, but since I didn’t know anything about LGBT identities I just ignored it. In seventh grade, I had a huge crush on a girl and a guy at the same time. My feelings for the guy faded and I wondered if I was a lesbian. During this time I thought people were either gay or straight (I was not taught about anything LGBT at home or at school). In eight grade, I started dating a cis male and thought that I was straight again for a bit, but soon rediscovered feelings for girls during my relationship with him. We broke up right before high school began. He ended it and I was a bit relieved. Freshman year of high school, I met one of my best friends, a closeted trans male named *Devon (name changed). He came out to me and taught me a lot about LGBT things. One day out of curiosity he asked me what I was and I said that I was straight, but with enough hesitation and uncertainty for him to question my answer. I explained my past experiences with feelings and he said, “Oh, you’re definitely bi.” Suddenly everything made sense. I never knew about the concept of bisexuality before then. I didn’t even know what the LGBT acronym stood for before then. Through the first few months of school I had little crushes on both boys and girls before meeting my boyfriend.

I‘m a junior in high school now. I’ve been with the same guy for two years and four months. Despite only having been in straight relationships with cis males, I’m still bisexual. It is so comforting to know that there was nothing wrong with me. I hope to go to college in a more LGBT-friendly state so that I don’t have to hide it anymore. My parents don’t know and I don’t plan on telling them anytime soon.

That was long. I’m sorry. I needed to get that out. Thanks for reading!

 

[mizzsnow]

For context: I'm a gay trans man living with a really transphobic Cuban family. I'm not gonna go into details but they're not supportive at all.

I'm unsure what to do considering I want to start testosterone as soon as I turn 18 this October but they don't think I have the capability of making decisions for myself and will guilt trip me and probably cut off financial support if I leave them. I have a job and I struggle with like really severe gender dysphoria. I'm unsure how to progress in my transition- they've said in the past all my family will leave me and stop loving me if I start testosterone, but it's the only thing I'm looking forwards to and it's keeping me sane. I could probably go live with someone else, but I don't know if I've been rejected or accepted by any of the universities I applied to so my future is so unstable right now. I just want to finally feel at home in my body. I'm probably gonna be able to start t I'm just nervous ig

I'm in the same spot, I need hormones to feel more comfortable with myself but my parents don't approve so I just started it without my parents knowing
I started hormones in secret with the intention of moving out before my family can see any noticable differences, I'm 2 months along and they haven't said anything about it yet...
Anyway you should save up if you haven't done so already I chose not to use my parent's insurance and seeing someone plus getting the prescription costed me a lot more than I thought it would be ):

 

[Lucky22]

Oh this seems cool! I'm a nonbinary lesbian myself i go by they\them pronouns and overall not lots of people would ever be supportive of me irl lol but that's okay in general already used to being the odd one out since like birth haha if anybody wants to chat that'd be epic!

 

[Eirrinn]

Ive recently been thinking i might be genderfluid, sadly my friends aren't very supportive about it lol
If anyone has some genderfluid stuff to share with me please let me know! cuz im very alone on the topic

 

[Que]

Not something I've actually, well, TALKED about in detail, but I haven't ever heard of anyone with quite the same issue, and I always fear the responses if I try to talk it out with other LGBT+ people.

I've identified as FtM trans and gay (so into boys) ever since I was 10 (I'm 19 now). I've fully looked, behaved, thought like I was just a cis guy to the point of forgetting I wasn't sometimes. My whole family knows, my friends know, and while not all have been supportive it's just been a fact of life for a while.

Not too long ago (about 1-2 years) I kind of gave up on claiming to be gay because let's be fair; I'm not. I've dated more girls than the rest combined and my excuse was that they were an "exception" each time, so that's an absolute lie. I just decided to give up on labeling that one.

HOWEVER, MY ISSUE is that ever since I moved away from my family, I've been sort of.. confused? I'm familiar with my name Nicklas, my birthname still bothers me, but I don't want to be confined to only dressing and looking and liking masculine things. My favorite color is pink, I want to grow my hair long again (it's shoulder length now, hurray!), I want to wear skirts and dresses sometimes - sometimes, I like using make-up and I'm fond of my nails and want to put stuff on those too, I just want to be... a girl? I guess. My current boyfriend has been super kind and even though it must look like madness from the outside, he's been great about it. But I'm not sure what I am? Would that mean that I am not, in fact, trans and therefore can't transition? I still feel the same. I still view myself as a man, but it's confusing lmao;;

My biggest fear is probably having to "come out" again as genderfluid. Until now I've just told people I'll look however I want without their input, but it's still scary thinking some of them might assume I'm just doing it to look cool with the kids and it sucks ><

 

[nintendofan85]

IDK why I'm doing this but IG it's because of the length of time I've been away and how I am as a person and how I identify has changed a lot over the years, even to the point of sparking controversy within the community.

I consider myself Genderfluid (I am male, but sometimes I like to "be" female) and have wrestled with this decision since I was a kid, For the longest time I just considered myself cis with female tendencies. I guess I always avoided finding a.. "LBGT" identity due to how I came to perceive the community, it's "loud majority" and it's methodology of getting it's point across, it's the same thing with why I only came out as a furry last year whilst being one for at least 7 years. I've usually found it difficult to include myself in a community where I've seen the whole "we don't discriminate" but is also very toxic and can be fairly pushy (When I used to interact with those within a few LBGT online communities they would spend days, even weeks, trying to push me into identifying as trans when I do not see myself that way, even to the point of vilifying me as a "Self hating trans"). Obviously I know this doesn't apply to everyone/everywhere which is why I finally came out with it all, but it doesn't help people who're trying to come to terms with their identities that there are a lot of places which do force this kind of stuff.

I can honestly relate with this even though I've never identified as anything other than my birth sex (male), because of a sexuality standpoint-I'm bisexual and a lot of us bisexuals have faced judgement in the LGBT community, especially us bisexual men...

 

[fallenchaoskitten]

...HOWEVER, MY ISSUE is that ever since I moved away from my family, I've been sort of.. confused? I'm familiar with my name Nicklas, my birthname still bothers me, but I don't want to be confined to only dressing and looking and liking masculine things. My favorite color is pink, I want to grow my hair long again (it's shoulder length now, hurray!), I want to wear skirts and dresses sometimes - sometimes, I like using make-up and I'm fond of my nails and want to put stuff on those too, I just want to be... a girl? I guess. My current boyfriend has been super kind and even though it must look like madness from the outside, he's been great about it. But I'm not sure what I am? Would that mean that I am not, in fact, trans and therefore can't transition? I still feel the same. I still view myself as a man, but it's confusing lmao;;

My biggest fear is probably having to "come out" again as genderfluid. Until now I've just told people I'll look however I want without their input, but it's still scary thinking some of them might assume I'm just doing it to look cool with the kids and it sucks ><

You can still be trans and do/want those things. You don't have to be genderfluid just because even though you feel yourself as male, you enjoy the stereotypical gender norms of a women.

Pink was originally for boys and blue for girls. Blame Hitler for making them flip-flop. (... no, really)

Guys have long hair. A lot of hot guys have long hair I might add.
Fabio is the big old name for this iconic look. Jason Momoa for more modern take.
The hottest guy I have EVER went on a date with (like on a 10pt scale he was a 100. Idk how someone like him can just be real honestly. No I don't have a photo T^T) had long hair... he was a metalhead tho so that is sort of a given? #headbangers

Several cultures there are men who where skirts and dresses... though, usually they don't call them that BUT THAT IS WHAT THEY ARE. Lookin at you kilts. lol

Make-up is a new things modern cishet men are dipping their toes into. "If women can do it, so can I!" ... also, I know it is NOT the same thing as trans, but drag queens. Several of them are not trans and some are straight males at that. Fabulous makeup.

My uncle is pretty cishet male redneck. We talkin beer bellied, gun lovin with them all over the house, fishin all the time kind of guy... he will go get manny-peddies. He likes how it feels. Though, he will get clear on his nails and SOMETIMES colors on his toes.

ANYWAYS, my point is, you can still be trans/a guy if you do, want, act out of "societies norm" for a guy.
BUT, if later you feel that genderfuild just fits better for you, wear it. ^-^