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Think Box #1: Respect and Opinions

Goshi

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Call me a complete jerk, I won't really deny it, but I've heard "I respect your opinion but..." and "respect other people's opinions because..." a lot, and I've definitely got some problems with that whole ideology.

Thing is, if you disagree with someone's opinion, then by definition you think that opinion is wrong in some way, and that the other person is wrong for holding it. That's how a discussion starts, with two people trying to convince the other to change their opinion. The fact that the discussion is even being had is proof that you do not in fact respect the other person's opinion. And here's the thing - that's perfectly okay. There's no need to self contradict oneself and dress up your own opinion with sentimental words when the truth is your disrespect is the reason the discussion is being had in the first place. People only say that because it sounds nice and correct. The phrase and other renditions of it are oxymoronic and are only used to gain a temporary moral high ground that means nothing in the long run, because a lot of people I've encountered who say that sort of stuff have beliefs related to people not allowed to have basic human rights, so obviously yeah, moral high ground that means nothing.

The whole notion that I and others don't respect other's opinions based on disagreement or attitude is such a non criticism. It usually comes because when I present my opinion, I'm doing it out of confidence that I'm correct, as everyone usually does. Well of course I would, because why else would I hold an opinion if I didn't perceive it as correct? Now if I held an opinion that I didn't think was correct, I'd reevaluate it and change it in order to be right, like any smart individual would do. There is no reason I need to pepper my responses with sentimentality as I expect the people I'm talking to here to act like mature teenagers and adults(when it comes to politics or serious topics, stuff like "I like apples more than oranges" I don't expect anything from at all), as that's the most common demographic in this forum. I would expect you to not have a breakdown because you were told you were wrong.

Here's the kicker, by the way. It may come as a shock to many, but I'm not saying people aren't allowed to have opinions. Accusing me of such is a form of intellectual dishonesty. Your right to your opinion or individuality is not what's being questioned. Continuing to assert such a thing is a red herring. Having a right to an opinion doesn't make it any more informed, nuanced, or thought out. It just means you're allowed to have it no matter how wrong or weak it is. So... after all of that, ultimately what I end up dealing with here are people who can't admit they're wrong. When you start an argument then lose an argument because you haven't figured out how to use critical thinking skills, and then turn around and then try to turn around and paint the person engaging with you as being intolerant of others' opinions, you're being intellectually dishonest.

This is why I see this whole "respect others' opinions" as only sounding sweet on a surface level. But when you actually sit down and analyze what comes with that, such as how those people actually behave and the mental gymnastics they go through, you realize what they actually mean is "don't contradict me!" It's the ramblings of someone who wants to be part of a conversation but refuses to let anyone else have the floor. It's expressing [your] opinion and expecting nobody else to make any sort of rebuttal.

***This is also all caused because people confuse being civil(which is what people mean when they say "respectful") with agreeing with everything the other says.

So to conclude, the lesson to be learned here is if you hear someone say that a person hates them for having a different opinion, always demand an elaboration. Because that's just a red flag that says that person is leaving out major details of that claim - they could have been told they were wrong and now are resulting to claims that gain them sympathy when they were in fact in the wrong. People don't simply hate an opinion for the sake of hating an opinion, it's the manner it's presented that matters. If a person refuses to elaborate, they're wasting time, and that person isn't entitled to your time.
 
Someone actually said this before me, but I took some mental notes and compiled it because it was really well said. If only I could remember who said it so I could link their page or whatever, but oh well.
 
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