What do you think of my poem?

Callie

Ms. Jentacular
Joined
Nov 16, 2008
Posts
1,417
Bells
1,873
Silver Mailbox
I know that the museum is primarily graphic things, but I wrote this today, and I feel pretty proud of it, so I thought of sharing it with you all. Tell me what you think.

Little Boy
By Callie

Little boy little boy with brown curly hair
He looks over at me with his vacant stare

Little boy little boy can't tie his shoe laces
He hides the ends in his socks, and his face behind his braces.

Little boy little boy can't you pay attention?
You don't take notes, just look for your friends' affections.

Little boy little boy you're not so small.
You talk like a teen and you're really quite tall.

Little boy little boy why don't you act like a man?
Because being grown up is lifeless, and you avoid it as long as you can.
 
"The Museum
Display your creations! Come here to show your fan-art, signatures, avatars, poems, songs, or anything else made by you."

And no. I don't like it. But I hate all poems anyway.
 
A lot of emotion in that. :D Not bad.

Could be improved a little tho. ;D
 
Can't say I'm a fan... seems a bit too generic, like I've read it 1000 times before.
 
Thanks guys! I've been really into poetry lately, so I'm trying to improve. I mainly write stuff about love and whatnot, so I wanted to mix it up do a little cutesy poem. Thanks for the feedback, I'll try to make future ones a little more original.
 
Callie's poem is so good
It is one I understood
Unlike others, which no one could.

I wish I could make poems just as great
As ones that Callie makes.

Yay.
 
Back
Top