What is it like becoming an adult/independent?

[Robi]

I'm very close to graduating high school and it's crazy to think of how much my life will change this year. Honestly pretty scared for the future especially considering I have not been doing too hot in high school.

For all the adults here, what are some tips for this part of life? How has life changed for the better and for the worse?

 

[Midoriya]

Going to start by saying that becoming an adult doesn't automatically make you independent. Those two things are separate. I am almost 25 and not fully independent yet. There are other users on the forum who are in a similar boat.

And also that nothing magically changes once you turn 18 or graduate from high school. Not to be a downer, but everything afterwards is much, much more difficult, including, but not limited to, getting admitted into college, graduating from college, securing a good job, securing an apartment or house, paying taxes, and more. It's all best taken one step at a time. If you try to mature too fast and do things too fast, you're just going to get burnt out.

I'd say being financially-minded is super important and something I wish I had learned faster. I'd probably have at least an apartment of my own by now if I did. I'm fortunate enough in that I own land and will be reaping the benefits in the next year or two, so money won't be so tight for me, but it still is for a lot of people. I'm not really a fan of money and place more importance on experiences, but it is still important to have.

I'd say my life in particular has gotten better, but there's been a TON of negatives to get here.

Pros:

- I pay for my own groceries and (most) of my own bills now.
- I have a good work from home job that pays well.
- I have a college degree.
- I know how to do more things on my own.

Cons:

- My mom is dead (passed away in December 2020 from cancer).
- I don't have as many in real life friends or exposure as I used to.
- I'm still not very intelligent in some areas where I should be.
- I don't have as much confidence or belief in myself as I should.

That's basically my thoughts on the matter. If you were able to take something away from it, great, but others here who are more independent than I am probably have better tips and advice.

 

[Robi]

Yeah, I don't want to seem like a little kid wishing to grow up but it's certainly at the very least exciting in an anxious way, mainly for the fact it's something new. I'm also moving to Norway to get my degree once I'm pretty confident in what to major in, so that's another layer of being in completely uncharted area.

 

[Midoriya]

Yeah, I don't want to seem like a little kid wishing to grow up but it's certainly at the very least exciting in an anxious way, mainly for the fact it's something new. I'm also moving to Norway to get my degree once I'm pretty confident in what to major in, so that's another layer of being in completely uncharted area.

Oh no, I totally agree. It really is exciting because it's a new chapter in your life and you have your entire rest of your life ahead of you. Moving to Norway sounds like a great experience and I wish you the best of luck with that. I mainly said above what I wish someone would have told me when I was 18. As you become older you don't completely change from who you are, but you do become more wise and stronger. One of the core things that has never changed about me is my positivity and kindness towards others. Even in my worst of times, no matter how old I get, I'll never change from that. Adults who are rude towards those younger than them seriously rub me the wrong way.

p.s. I love that you love Piplup. Sinnoh is such a great region!

 

[TurnipBell20]

My life has overall changed for the better when I „became an adult“. I finished my apprenticeship at age 18 which made me earn full salary. Not having to worry about money definitely helped in the process of growing up and becoming independent. I think earning your own money early on in life is very important.

Having to take responsibility for all my actions sometimes still makes me nervous, especially at work. Having said that, my responsibilities didn‘t grow all of a sudden when I graduated or finished my apprenticeship.

There is nothing to be afraid of. Just do what you want to do, and ask for help and advice when needed.

 

[tumut]

Lots of stress and struggle if you become independent at a young age like I did at 21 a couple years ago.


Go at your own pace. If you have a family who is supportive and will help you out don't feel shy to take as much help as you can get.

( assuming you're in the U.S. or Canada)

As far as jobs go, I'd say look for something that pays well and has a flexible schedule (serving in a restaurant is usually your best bet at a younger age for good money and flexible hours). If you pursue college, I'd say take it at your own pace. You don't need to graduate in four years, or graduate early. If you aren't sure about a 4 year school, try a 2 year community college instead, if you do well there it'll be much easier if you choose to go back to a brick and mortar school. Plan for the future but do it little by little.

Don't expect to have your entire life figured out. Make time to enjoy things, and don't be afraid to try new things, travel a bit, or get involved in things. You likely won't have more than a couple of friends from High School you keep in touch with unless you stay in your hometown.

 

[_confused_piplup_]

yes, becoming adult is probably different from being independent. For some extent, I am non of those. I think being adult means being mature, which is something you can achieve quite soon or maybe a lot later. I consider myself quite mature, not too much but I feel I am not a teenager anymore lol. Truly becoming adult requires much time and I think it's truly achievable when you become fully independent.
So, what's being independent? From my perspective, is being able to do things on your own. I study in a different city but I don't have a job, so my parents are paying for it, which is kinda normal. However, I can do everything on my own: I can cook, clean, I know how to move in the city, which places are to be seen, I know how to organize my time and so on. Imo this is being independent: you can mostly do things on your own and if you can't, you are either able to find an alternative or you know how to seek for help and learn how to do things. I feel independent, but after all, if you don't have a job and pay things for yourself, you're not 100% independent yet.

But I understand how you may be worried and it surely isn't easy but in a way or another you'll find your way. May it be fast or slowly, you'll do it. So, my advice is just take your time and try to be open to new people and experiences

 

[Soigne]

i would say be prepared to lose contact with some/most of your friends, regardless of how long you’ve known them. it may seem like you’re going to be friends for a long time, but i’ve been out of high school for about 6.5 years now and i don’t talk to anyone that i was friends with back then anymore.

it’s okay & it’s just a natural thing. people grow apart. you’ll meet new people who you’ll love just as much.

 

[Chris]

Some people figure these things out quickly and, on paper, look like they have everything nailed down perfectly. Others take longer to get there. How your own path will look will depend on your goals in life and the obstacles that will arise on the way.

I'm at an age that most people expect they're going to have their life together by - and I don't. Thankfully I've a friend just two weeks older than me who does that I can use to create some wonderful contrast here.

• She is on her second marriage and has five kids, the eldest of which is in secondary school (I think the way our system matches with the US that would place her in junior high), owns her own home, etc. She went to college. She doesn't work now but did until the third or fourth baby came along - her partner makes a good enough income to support them all comfortably. She's extremely happy with her life - she always said she wanted to have a big family and she got it. Her first divorce was horrible, and the first couple of years after that extremely messy, but she overcame it.
• In comparison, I spent 25 years of my life in education or placements as part of my degree(s). A huge amount of my income has always been immediately redirected into tuition fees - especially at postgrad level. Thoughts of a family or house are still years down the road because I'm still not financially stable yet and have a lot of student debt to pay back - but that's fine because I still don't know where I am going after my current work ends. I also made the difficult decision to end things a couple of months ago with the person I had intended to marry, so starting a family is going to be delayed a bit longer than I had planned. But I wouldn't change any of it because I know I'm on the right path for me. I'm a scientist, for the record, and I love what I do - but it wasn't what I initially planned to do with my life so it has been quite a long and convoluted road to get here.

Life is a journey and how yours pans out will be unique and may not always go according to plan. My main piece of advice would be to not compare yourself to your friends or other people your own age. When you see other people hitting certain milestones with their lives (graduating college, first full-time job, engagement, marriage, own house, baby, etc - and some of these will happen much sooner than you expect!!) it can feel like you're falling behind or some how failing at life but it's really not the case. There isn't a universal timeline that you have to follow to hit these milestones - and if they're not for you then that's okay too. I know I used a friend as an example above, but I don't envy her or compare myself to her ordinarily - I couldn't live her life nor do I think she would be happy if she had to live mine.

 

[Corrie]

Be as financially smart as possible. Save money for things. Realize that buying the newest video game isn't as important as say, buying a car so you can go to work. Work comes before play now, unfortunately, and a lot of people don't understand or refuse to make this change.

Example, I come home (I live alone) and instead of plopping down on the couch to binge video games or browse the internet for hours, I have to make dinner first or do a load of laundry. I have to get ready for work the next day. It was a tough adjustment for me at first as I was used to coming home and just playing after school. That goes for college too as you're paying to be there so you'll want to work really hard.

As far as job hunting or choosing a career, I can't stress enough to job search. Pretend you've graduated, now what jobs can you get? Too many people I know took a course and have wound up at minimum wage jobs that they could have gotten straight out of highschool. Pick something you like or have interest in but also realize that you'll have bills to pay.

And that's about it! I hope you have a fun time!!