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What Is Your Family Like?
- Thread starter moonford
- Start date
Strawberryllama
Senior Member
Mom is supportive and has good advice, but kinda naive and a little homophobic. She kinda thinks things like all lesbians had a bad experience with men. My dad is annoying, over protective, judgmental, slightly more homophobic, and racist. I don't like being around him, he just irritates me. My little brother is the typical little brother, except dad taught him inappropriate and racist jokes. He gets annoying but I'm trying not to get mad because he has bad anxiety.
I love them but they can drive me insane, especially when I just want to be alone.
I love them but they can drive me insane, especially when I just want to be alone.
My dad passed away during childhood. I grew up close with my mother as a result. Although I had to learn to be independent quickly. She opted not to send me to a daycare and worked long shifts. (I had older siblings in the house, but they were not babysitters). I keep a close relationship with my siblings to this day.
Much of my family is split. My dads side disappeared off the face of the earth. Many of my cousins won't interact with anyone they deem 'socially lower'. (aside from showing up at weddings and funerals).
So it's simply me, two of my aunts, two of my uncles, my mom, and a few younger cousins. Alcohol problems are rampant. Like, really bad.
I get along with my family, although due to the drinking (which I don't partake in) it feels like there's a gap between us. I don't have many people to speak with aside from when I can text my siblings.
I suppose forum use is to sometimes compensate. I often journal my thoughts.
Much of my family is split. My dads side disappeared off the face of the earth. Many of my cousins won't interact with anyone they deem 'socially lower'. (aside from showing up at weddings and funerals).
So it's simply me, two of my aunts, two of my uncles, my mom, and a few younger cousins. Alcohol problems are rampant. Like, really bad.
I get along with my family, although due to the drinking (which I don't partake in) it feels like there's a gap between us. I don't have many people to speak with aside from when I can text my siblings.
I suppose forum use is to sometimes compensate. I often journal my thoughts.
I don't see my relatives often, like almost never, but I rarely go out so..
On my father's side, my grandpa was rather eccentric, he built an area for aliens on his land. All the family are heavy drinkers, gamblers, fight and yell a lot, but are also affectionate, they like hockey, fishing and hunting, and if some are a bit ...um... old fashioned with gender roles, my father was not like that, he had many flaws but also accepted ppl for who they were and was not judgmental. With those relatives, I have nature in common, like me they prefer the forest to the city and like spending days in the woods. I also inherited their temper. I get along with my cousins on this side.
On my mother's side, my grandfather was really shy and got married at 6am because he didn't want guests. Both my grandfathers were not very sociable. My relatives are rather cold and not fond of display of affection, so no hugs, no kisses, they might also tell you that you look fat, sick and judge what you are wearing a lot, but I don't mind because I don't really like people touching me and their comments on my appearance amuse me. Most of them live in small villages where the main activity is: Gossips, so even if you are not interested, they will tell you in details about everybody and it's how I learned about my cheater of cousin,
(yes bring the pop corn). They don't drink, don't smoke, but judge a lot and can't keep a secret. Half of them are partly deaf with ADHD, so conversation can be a bit difficult, it's not rare for them to just leave in a middle of conversation or all having their monologue of different subjects. Cousins on that side are all fighting, it started with pulling hair and now it's drama on Facebook. I was getting along with my younger uncles.
On my father's side, my grandpa was rather eccentric, he built an area for aliens on his land. All the family are heavy drinkers, gamblers, fight and yell a lot, but are also affectionate, they like hockey, fishing and hunting, and if some are a bit ...um... old fashioned with gender roles, my father was not like that, he had many flaws but also accepted ppl for who they were and was not judgmental. With those relatives, I have nature in common, like me they prefer the forest to the city and like spending days in the woods. I also inherited their temper. I get along with my cousins on this side.
On my mother's side, my grandfather was really shy and got married at 6am because he didn't want guests. Both my grandfathers were not very sociable. My relatives are rather cold and not fond of display of affection, so no hugs, no kisses, they might also tell you that you look fat, sick and judge what you are wearing a lot, but I don't mind because I don't really like people touching me and their comments on my appearance amuse me. Most of them live in small villages where the main activity is: Gossips, so even if you are not interested, they will tell you in details about everybody and it's how I learned about my cheater of cousin,
(yes bring the pop corn). They don't drink, don't smoke, but judge a lot and can't keep a secret. Half of them are partly deaf with ADHD, so conversation can be a bit difficult, it's not rare for them to just leave in a middle of conversation or all having their monologue of different subjects. Cousins on that side are all fighting, it started with pulling hair and now it's drama on Facebook. I was getting along with my younger uncles.
VernalLapin
anyway
They’re the best! Very kind and fun to hang out with.
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I have been heavily debating on making this exactly thread for a while as I wasn't sure it had been made, but now I do not have to. ^.^
I have a very complicated relationship with my family. I do appreciate my dad and my grandma (even though my dad claims that I don't) for doing a lot for me, but despite this, my relationship with them is far from perfect.
I feel like they still do not know just how people with ASD function (I mean they know a bit of it, but a lot is still to be learned), so I feel like they can be a ignorant and insensitive regarding that at times. Aside from this, I just have different opinions, views, values, preferences, ideals, etc. from my family. My grandma from my dad's side is EXTREMELY religious and tries to force her beliefs on me, when I am an atheist.
She says people who do not believe in God are going to Hell. She doesn't know I am an atheist, don't worry. Otherwise, **** would hit the fan, but she knows me, my dad, and my brother are not devout people and are worried we are going to Hell. Like, she has literally called my dad worried-sick about our afterlife fate. My dad doesn't even believe in Atheism, but he is certainly not the person to dedicate every Sunday to God. He is a lot more milder about his beliefs.
It does kinda bother me that my dad sometimes sees my grandma as this saint, when she has her flaws too. On top of what I mentioned, she can be very uptight and a bit of a control freak.
As for my brother, we goof off a lot. He and my dad both do their part to make sure I get yummy fast food (like today), but I do wish my brother was more sympathetic and aware about how much ASD can affect a person, as well.
And my mom? Ohh boy... That's a different story (probably the worst case), though I feel like a lot of the strain in our relationship stems from ASD as well. She doesn't respect my social boundaries and just guilt-trips me over it. She also used to force certain beauty standards (e.g. makeup, jewelry, hair stylization) on me back when I was younger, despite telling her I was uncomfortable. She also suggested that their is an age limit to being scared of loud noises. And then I found out something disturbing from my dad last week: That I'M part of the reason my mom bailed out on us back in April 2019.
This isn't to say my relationship with them is toxic. It's just really, really difficult for me to see eye-to-eye with them, and for me to properly express myself to them. I love them. They love me. I DO appreciate the good things...even if my dad claims I don't.
My other family members are pretty chill for the most part, but my mom and I have noticed back in August 2022 that my grandma from my mom's side is becoming more strict and more easily annoyed with things...but that's very mild compared to what I've mentioned above, plus our visits to her house are few and far between.
As time goes on, I do want to try to make an effort to do what I can to make my relationship with them less complicated:
* I want to become more independent
* I want to get my own place
* I want to educate them on the Autism Spectrum.
* I do want to make an effort to spend time with them on a reasonable basis, doing things that do NOT involve going on vacations.
I have a very complicated relationship with my family. I do appreciate my dad and my grandma (even though my dad claims that I don't) for doing a lot for me, but despite this, my relationship with them is far from perfect.
I feel like they still do not know just how people with ASD function (I mean they know a bit of it, but a lot is still to be learned), so I feel like they can be a ignorant and insensitive regarding that at times. Aside from this, I just have different opinions, views, values, preferences, ideals, etc. from my family. My grandma from my dad's side is EXTREMELY religious and tries to force her beliefs on me, when I am an atheist.
She says people who do not believe in God are going to Hell. She doesn't know I am an atheist, don't worry. Otherwise, **** would hit the fan, but she knows me, my dad, and my brother are not devout people and are worried we are going to Hell. Like, she has literally called my dad worried-sick about our afterlife fate. My dad doesn't even believe in Atheism, but he is certainly not the person to dedicate every Sunday to God. He is a lot more milder about his beliefs.
It does kinda bother me that my dad sometimes sees my grandma as this saint, when she has her flaws too. On top of what I mentioned, she can be very uptight and a bit of a control freak.
As for my brother, we goof off a lot. He and my dad both do their part to make sure I get yummy fast food (like today), but I do wish my brother was more sympathetic and aware about how much ASD can affect a person, as well.
And my mom? Ohh boy... That's a different story (probably the worst case), though I feel like a lot of the strain in our relationship stems from ASD as well. She doesn't respect my social boundaries and just guilt-trips me over it. She also used to force certain beauty standards (e.g. makeup, jewelry, hair stylization) on me back when I was younger, despite telling her I was uncomfortable. She also suggested that their is an age limit to being scared of loud noises. And then I found out something disturbing from my dad last week: That I'M part of the reason my mom bailed out on us back in April 2019.
This isn't to say my relationship with them is toxic. It's just really, really difficult for me to see eye-to-eye with them, and for me to properly express myself to them. I love them. They love me. I DO appreciate the good things...even if my dad claims I don't.
My other family members are pretty chill for the most part, but my mom and I have noticed back in August 2022 that my grandma from my mom's side is becoming more strict and more easily annoyed with things...but that's very mild compared to what I've mentioned above, plus our visits to her house are few and far between.
As time goes on, I do want to try to make an effort to do what I can to make my relationship with them less complicated:
* I want to become more independent
* I want to get my own place
* I want to educate them on the Autism Spectrum.
* I do want to make an effort to spend time with them on a reasonable basis, doing things that do NOT involve going on vacations.
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Rough.
I'm not interested in painting a bad picture. Especially now as more has passed on than not.
But an individual is more faceted than we give credit most of the time. There are reasons or stories (not justifications) on why people act or react the way they do. Some of those stories they don't even realize are there.
I'm not interested in painting a bad picture. Especially now as more has passed on than not.
But an individual is more faceted than we give credit most of the time. There are reasons or stories (not justifications) on why people act or react the way they do. Some of those stories they don't even realize are there.
They're flawed like anyone else, but they're fundamentally good people for the most part. They're understanding, nice, smart, and tolerant. I hear stories of people's awful family members and I feel lucky that I get along with mine. Even the worst members of my family still have some redeeming qualities.
