What makes you feel connected?

[OswinOswald]

My current boyfriend spends a lot more time thinking about emotions than I do. He asks me a lot about how I feel and makes bids about emotional connection and sharing intimate thoughts, which is actually sort of a foreign concept sometimes to me. I suspect I'm on the spectrum, or I just didn't have a lot of learning about emotions in my childhood upbringing. Anyway, I am curious because I feel like sometimes I turn to forums to get that sense of connection with other strangers on the internet! So what is it about our forum interactions (or any other interactions!) that makes you feel like you're really connecting with another person?

 

[SkyKnight03]

I enjoy the brisk pace that forums provide and the overarching community feeling of it. I haven't really spoken with anybody here, but it doesn't bother me. I'm content enough with these places to simply post around at leisure.

I have a few long term friends online outside of here, who I eternally cherish. I enjoy those chats and conversations. It's helped me on my worst days.

I made attempts to join discord but ultimately found myself joining and quitting depending on my mood. There's just a different feeling to constant live communication. I don't have the courage to jump straight into the big chat rooms either. Someday I'll try and face that fear.

 

[Midoriya]

Actually laughing and getting to know people. Having deeper conversations with them than just "small talk." And sharing our interests and how our days are going. I feel that as I begin to do that with a friend over time the bond just grows stronger.

 

[Drawdler]

What Midoriya said is painfully true.

To add onto that, mutual effort. That’s huge for me. Now I have high hopes, so it takes a lot to impress me as being mutual effort, I can put a hell of a lot in. But well before that, just people coming up to say hi to me alongside what Midoriya mentioned. As well as that sharing their feelings, opinions, giving me their thoughts. If I’m not the only one reaching out, and the other person expresses themselves in actions then it means a lot, you know?

And then there’s making an effort to understand. Great alongside the rest.

Some of this is also just listing my likes, ‘cause I like really thoughtful people and things, deep analysis, so on. But hey, everyone gets drawn to certain things, and not only do you spend more time on it from there but the quality is better for it too.

Funnily enough I can also echo what SkyKnight said to a degree but it depends on my mood honestly. Sometimes I like forums. Sometimes I’m motivated to be on Discord. Most servers I’ve been on are total crap though and I’ve actually found the best ones when I wasn’t really trying to even make friends. I know sometimes I try too hard, but the heart wants what it wants baybee. If you can give mutual capacity for my crap and effort, we’re besties.

 

[Stalfie]

Mon papa!

 

[nightglow]

I feel like there is a lack of small talk in general online. I think it's also a little easier to find out about others' interests. The internet is a very visual place and a lot of times it is used to get or share information. And with it being visual, there are easy conversation starters and you aren't stuck in a room with whoever for hours either. And people only talk if they actually want to engage with you, unlike real life, how I feel/see anyway.

I would hate to go as far as saying it's more meaningful communication than in person interactions, but I feel like alot of in person stuff is: very rehearsed or shallow or just cause it's what you're suppose to do rather than interest or want, unless people actually take time to go somewhere else to do something with you.

 

[VampireSenpaii]

My current boyfriend spends a lot more time thinking about emotions than I do. He asks me a lot about how I feel and makes bids about emotional connection and sharing intimate thoughts, which is actually sort of a foreign concept sometimes to me. I suspect I'm on the spectrum, or I just didn't have a lot of learning about emotions in my childhood upbringing. Anyway, I am curious because I feel like sometimes I turn to forums to get that sense of connection with other strangers on the internet! So what is it about our forum interactions (or any other interactions!) that makes you feel like you're really connecting with another person?

I'm honestly the same as your boyfriend, I am very connected to my own emotions and often think and talk/ask about them with others. But I also have the connection/understanding issue, I always misinterpret what others are saying/feeling even if I know them really well. I suspect I'm on the spectrum as well, but most just say I am 'over-complicating' things too much (which tbf I do with everything and it just makes me more suspect that I may be on the spectrum). I personally grew up having to do as I was told, and I had to fake certain emotions to stop myself from being hurt by others. So now that I am not doing that anymore, I have been called 'rude' and 'entitled' by many people.

I feel like forums, for me personally, are the best places to just talk and relax. I don't have anyone IRL I can really talk to, and sometimes I just need to talk without seeming 'desperate for attention'.