I got stuck in the bathroom with an absolutely gigantic garden spider
I actually
heard it skittering around before I even saw the horrible thing aslkjfsflgds
wound up leaning horizontally across my bathroom sink so I could wash my hands without getting near that accursed monstrosity
I wish spiders could understand human speech so I could tell them that a) I do not want to eat them and b) to stay away from me and not make any sudden movements and neither of us will have a problem. but they cannot understand me and so I must live in the fear that one wrong move will prompt them to suddenly charge me at full sprint
and now I'm jumpy and everything looks and feels like spiders