What's Bothering You?

Well my anxiety is back. I’m taking a break from forum and discord for a day or two -peace ✌️
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Something that hasn't happened to me in years just did... I got a whole bunch of suds in my eye while I was taking a shower... I know it's nothing terrible, but it's incredibly painful and it just seems that lately everything that CAN go wrong WILL go wrong... needless to say, I was extra careful when getting out of the shower. Now I just hope I won't get an eye infection.
Hope your eye is going to be ok friend 💜
 
pretty positive that I had an assignment due for Jazz Hist on Monday and I still haven't done it whoops

also had to eat dinner a lot later than usual yesterday (8pm instead of 5pm) and because of that this morning i feel kinda crappy. I would normally get breakfast around this time but idk about today.

edit: also in a rut yet again cause I found someone to sell me a blue balloon finally but I don't have enough tbt and idk what to sell to make more gxhsj2bdgdue
 
so quadmester 2 of my online classes started today and turns out, at least one of my teachers are expecting me to have my camera on during class. as someone with severe anxiety and self-esteem issues, i’m not comfortable with this at all and now have to harass both my principal and guidance counsellor in hopes that they’ll waive this expectation. during the 1st quadmester, neither of my teachers ever asked for cameras to be turned on and i was very comfortable with that. i don’t feel comfortable with people being able to see me or getting a glimpse into my home life. i understand that teachers are simply yearning for engagement but this would impact my ability to work significantly.

i really hope something can be done about this or else i’m in for a really rough 3 months :/
 

:( I’m so sorry Xel. Sending you positive thoughts and wishes. Hang in there the best you can. My dms and wall is always open if you ever want to vent or chat about other stuff to distract you. 🙂

so quadmester 2 of my online classes started today and turns out, at least one of my teachers are expecting me to have my camera on during class. as someone with severe anxiety and self-esteem issues, i’m not comfortable with this at all and now have to harass both my principal and guidance counsellor in hopes that they’ll waive this expectation. during the 1st quadmester, neither of my teachers ever asked for cameras to be turned on and i was very comfortable with that. i don’t feel comfortable with people being able to see me or getting a glimpse into my home life. i understand that teachers are simply yearning for engagement but this would impact my ability to work significantly.

i really hope something can be done about this or else i’m in for a really rough 3 months :/

I hope you succeed in this fight since I would hate that as well :(. Hang in there.
 
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I made a post on fb about BLM and why it's important, and my dad (a close minded conservative republican) comes in with that "all lives matter" bull****. he basically negated all the oppression and harassment that black Americans and POC have endured for years.

I ****in my hate him.
 
I feel too forced into my religion. My parents get so disgusted when I 'don't do my part', and even when I was about 6 I couldn't wait to move out because of this. I've held this grudge on me for years. It really sucks that I can't be myself around my family purely because of fear of their judgement.
Not only that, but EVERYONE at my church thinks i'm so sweet and girly, when in reality i'm just a transboy who loves being a potato all day.
wish I can just be myself without being judged, then life would be so much easier :/
 
having trouble going back to sleep even though i should get up now anyways. i keep remembering some stuff that should be good memories but instead I think of the embarrassing things and want to forget them even more. also am bothered by a lot of stuff that i still can’t come to terms with and move on. I really hate how when i tell myself to move on and forget things, the opposite happens and just how my brain likes to dwell on things even stuff I don’t want to dwell on. anxiety sucks and i wish i was born without it and didn’t have other mental problems. :/

overall, I guess I’m feeling better than I was two days ago.

I just read something about the tents being color locked and I really hope that isn’t the case; super anxious and annoyed about that.
 
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