What's Bothering You?

so i legit sent an apology email to the ensemble director about me not being able to load up instruments this morning and he's like "It's okay, also you're not scheduled to do that until Nov 23rd anyways."

so now not only am I stressed but I'm also embarrassed because I probably sounded like an idiot to my professor. I'm actually skipping my last class cause I just can't handle any stress anymore. I'm so tired of everything.
 
i don't understand why i don't respect myself enough to put an end to the bull**** this guy keeps putting me through because somehow here i am again.
 
For 2 or 3 days know it feels like I have a bruise right on my hip bone area, but there's no bruise, cut or anythin. It hurts to sleep on it do I try to avoid sleeping on that side, but the pain is still there. Whye.
 
I want another cup of coffee, but it’s 6 P.M. and I want to fix my sleep schedule again.
 
this unemployment site never working like...... okay i need to check on my stuff there but i can't um hello fix it
 
Thought I would be productive today but then I woke up with a headache and painkillers make me sleepy.
Guess I'm not doing anything today after all.​
 
I keep having dreams of being friends with people who cut me out of their life and it's a vicious cycle of pain and agony
 
I can't leave here for 40 min but this silence and monotony is driving me crazy. I usually enjoy my art class more if people are talking or if I have someone to talk to while I work. idk maybe I should bring my headphones next time, even though they're really bulky and kinda awkward.
 
My rabbit chewed my boots. I know it's my fault for leaving them on the floor though lol. She chewed all along the top so where you put your foot in has no stitching anymore, just a frayed chewed mess. It's like she was a can opener going around the top rim of my boots haha. I'm just glad she didn't eat the pieces lmao
 
Apparently I can't eat milk yogurt anymore..?? lactose intolerance developing or stuff.. had to have it this morning bc i was basically out of oat yogurt and my tum hurt like hell.


Also I'm giving up on this ****ing unemployment money thing soon. Can they actually check my paper and also stop having such a laggy page so I can't upload/change my stuff ugh.
 
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it's only Tuesday ugugugug

yesterday my mom was like "you can't just wish your days away, you need to enjoy each day" but I told her that's really difficult to do when I spend literally every single day either doing schoolwork or stressing about schoolwork. I can never enjoy my time while I'm in school.
 
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