Would you like to get married? 💒

[Mairmalade]

For most of my life I thought it was something that'd never happen, and the idea of getting married filled me with fear, dread, and worry.

I didn't like the idea of commitment, especially when I was (and still kind of am) someone that enjoys staying in their comfort zone enjoying my hobbies, spending time with friends and family, and working.

Seemingly randomly one day, a friend of mine asked me to play Stardew Valley again, and he invited a friend of his. Overtime, his friend and I got to know one another. He made me realize that the status quo isn't always the healthiest. We spent a lot of time together, and visited back and forth once we were legally able to do so (COVID restrictions at the time). He gave me a bunch of junimo plush in the game, and came over to where I was fishing and held the legendary fish I was trying to catch to support my catching it, lol.

We went through two years of immigration paperwork & waiting (the process is still ongoing,) but we did get married this past August and I am living with him in the US now.

I understand why people get married, and I understand why people don't. Much like having children, I don't think it's something we're solely put on the Earth to do, and it gets exhausting when such expectations/pressures are thrust upon us; however, I can say I don't regret my decision to marry despite earlier reservations (complex situation, financial impact, uncertainty). Without doubt, there will be times where I feel uncertainty and experience not-so-nice emotions, but I believe I'm much happier now sharing my life and things I enjoy with someone else. It's still a bit surreal to me, but working towards things together, and living upholding our promises to each other, creates a place where I like to be.

 

[Mokuren]

I am married for 2 years now after 6 years of relationship and honestly it's still the same only with a ring lol. Still love my husband a lot.

 

[Stella-Io]

If it happens then it happens, but I don't see myself being in a relationship that long with someone. I rarely ever go in relationships (literally did it once and it lasted a month before I broke things off) nor do I look for them. I don't think I'm a romantic type relationship person. People want to spend alot of time together, which there is nothing wrong with, but I value my alone time away from others. I don't feel the need to spend so much time with someone I'm dating. If I ever did marry someone, it would have to be like one of those 'best friends for ten+ years to married' pipeline. Maybe not for *that long, but I would defo wait a good amount of time before gettin married, like 4 or more years. I've seen relationships of longer end up breaking things off, so I would have to be dating that person for a *long time before considering marriage and all that comes with it, costs, legality things, ect... But then again, I don't engage or seek out relationships, so it's not happening anytime soon.

 

[OswinOswald]

I would very much like to get married! But finding a suitable partner is so difficult =(
I am totally a hopeless romantic. I eat up rom coms for breakfast and then I top it off with some historical romance and romance novels I hope that isn't setting horribly awful expectations of all the men I try and date

But seriously, I am an introvert and like spending a majority of my social time time with a small group of people or just one person rather than a group. So I feel like finding one person who I get along with well would be important for life, so you can grow old together hopefully. And I love kids, so I'd like that in my future too... but I guess I don't love kids enough to be a single parent; I work a lot so I think it makes more sense if multiple people can be involved in raising those children. Not that marriage necessarily needs to equate to having kids, but I think that having kids in the context of a marriage will be easier. Could I just hire a nanny? Sure, but if I'm never home and the nanny is always raising the kids, it seems less meaningful.

 

[pottercrossing]

If I could platonically marry my best friend, I'd do it in a heartbeat. But to fall in love with someone and get married? I can't ever see that happening. Me being trans and a-spec makes it hard enough to find someone to be with, but being in a relationship has never been a huge concern of mine in the first place.

So I just found out that platonic marriages are, in fact, a thing.

I still stand by what I said in my previous post. For me, a platonic marriage is more likely to happen than a romantic marriage. A romantic marriage isn't out of the question, but if I do end up getting married, a platonic marriage would be my preferred route.

 

[cIementine]

before i met my partner two years ago, the idea of marriage felt extremely distant! i was 19, in uni, and just dating around. i was dating with emotional connection in mind because casual dating wasn't really for me, but also not putting any pressure on it and wasn't really fussed about finding 'the one' or being in a relationship. i went on some nice dates and met interesting people but nothing really struck a chord.

i've also never felt particularly strongly about marriage. i have never aspired to get married in and of itself, but i have aspired to meet a life partner i love so much i want to marry. i feel lucky to say i already have, which is something i never anticipated to experience so soon in my life! i'm not engaged but i wouldn't be surprised if that's something that happens for me in the next year or two. i am very young and for me there's no urgency, so i have no problem having a long engagement until we can feasibly afford the kind of ceremony we want. i would hate a huge wedding, but i would love to have an intimate wedding with just our immediate family and closest friends, or even elope somewhere, just us two.

i love my partner very much and it's abundantly clear that we care about enjoying our life together and living the rest of our lives flexibly so we can do so while giving each other the opportunity to pursue our respective goals. he's a few years older than me so his complete nonchalance about the uncertainty of my life post-graduating, his unwavering support, and his willingness to follow me around whatever my life has in store makes me feel optimistic about sharing a life together without alienating myself from important aspects of my development and experiences i desire. he's more settled into a career and further into adult life, but he cares deeply about making sure i get to experience the trials and tribulations of my stage of life alongside him just as he was able to while single. i feel completely at peace around my partner. thus far it's been never-ending butterflies and contentment. we've lived together, grieved together, nursed each other through illness, travelled together, etc - but every problem shared with him feels like a problem halved, and every good experience we share feels twice as wonderful knowing i get to share it with him.

 

[Neb]

I thought I was in a relationship once, but it was actually just a really intense, unhealthy friendship in hindsight. All I’ve had were two dates that never went anywhere when I was a teenager and then I was a backup for someone who was emotionally cheating on her boyfriend and I wasn’t aware of what was going on.

I don’t think I’ll ever get married even though I’d love to in my 30s or later simply because whenever someone shows interest in me I’m either too oblivious until it’s too late or I don’t know what to say to them. It just never goes anywhere.