Are you anti social by choice?

[helenkeller]

I have pretty bad social anxiety. I'm looking for a job and I know I can handle strangers that have no idea who I am. But I don't know how social I will be around potential co workers. I'm not interested in anything all the people my age are. I don't want to go out and party, get drunk in front of people who don't even care about me. I don't want to fit in either, everyone around here is the same. Either they're a single teen mom, they act completely belligerent over EVERY little thing, trying to fight EVERY person who makes them mad which is CLASSLESS. They all have the same recycled sense of humor, same music taste, all wear the same clothes, all acting the same, talk the same. the list goes on and on...

like these girls from my area are really 19 years old still fist fighting over he said she said -___-

- - - Post Merge - - -

SugoiPurin
I am almost 20 and people are still the same way. They'll act like your best friend to your face, and when you turn your back they'll rip you to shreds. My ex best friend, I mean BEST FRIEND, who I hung out with almost DAILY, told my boyfriend I was talking to another guy! She also told her boyfriend at that time how I am a loser who will never go anywhere in life. Like if I'm such a loser why did you try to hang out with me every day and get mad when I couldn't? Lmao if you think it changes as you get older--- it doesn't.. so watch your feelings. I wish I would have. Man I'm still upset about it sometimes.

 

[ok.sean]

idk it really depends on the day,,, im friends with a ton of people but im rly awkward in person so most of my socializing happens on snapchat/text

 

[shrekluvsme]

I'm not. I'm only on this forum a lot lately because I've basically dumped all of my friends because over the past few months they've really changed for the worst, and I'd rather be alone than be friends with them lol. And while around some people I do get tired of interacting with them, if I really get along with someone like my bf, or my best friend (one of two friends I haven't dumped lol!), I can spends hour or days with them and not get tired of it at all lol!

 

[easpa]

I mean, I don't THINK so? I do enjoy my own company, and alone time is more or less a must for me after spending a day or two with friends, but I'm pretty good at talking to people whenever I'm at a social event or whatever. If anything, I think I intentionally avoid texting people first when I'm feeling socially drained, so maybe that could read as anti-social.

 

[Superpenguin]

I have pretty bad social anxiety. I'm looking for a job and I know I can handle strangers that have no idea who I am. But I don't know how social I will be around potential co workers.

I used to have this fear too (still comes up when starting a new job tbh), but honestly it's never an issue. I'm quiet and reserved by nature; I don't enjoy talking with people unless it's somehow work related. People figure out your personality and respect it and will learn the best ways to work with you. Of course every now and then you'll hear your name thrown around as the "quiet one" or something like that, but that's true in everyone's case and it's much better than the "annoying one" lmao.

 

[helenkeller]

I'm not. I'm only on this forum a lot lately because I've basically dumped all of my friends because over the past few months they've really changed for the worst, and I'd rather be alone than be friends with them lol. And while around some people I do get tired of interacting with them, if I really get along with someone like my bf, or my best friend (one of two friends I haven't dumped lol!), I can spends hour or days with them and not get tired of it at all lol!

literally me I have little to no irl friends and the people on here are more reasonable. id rather spend my time making threads on here than empty convos with someone who barely cares

- - - Post Merge - - -

I used to have this fear too (still comes up when starting a new job tbh), but honestly it's never an issue. I'm quiet and reserved by nature; I don't enjoy talking with people unless it's somehow work related. People figure out your personality and respect it and will learn the best ways to work with you. Of course every now and then you'll hear your name thrown around as the "quiet one" or something like that, but that's true in everyone's case and it's much better than the "annoying one" lmao.

lol I transformed from the annoying one to the quiet one so blessed

 

[forestyne]

Sort of. I chose not to be friends with my old friendship group, but my social anxiety has been so strong that I haven't been able to talk to people or make friends.

 

[Romaki]

Well, in high school I only had "friends" who befriended me out of pity, so I never got the chance to make actual friends.
Haven't made any friends as an adult yet, but I've been stuck at home due to my illness and the online gaming community is just absolute poison and I'm not social enough to find and keep the good people in my contacts.

 

[Dim]

Kind of. I have social anxiety but I don't even try to start my social life. I try to conversate with them but they end up saying I'm "too quiet" like are you serious? I talked to you for 10 minutes straight and I don't even like you lmaooo.

 

[helenkeller]

Idk why I laughed so hard at the "I talked to you for ten minutes straight and I don't even like you" HAHAHAH

 

[carp]

i went out with a guy yesterday on a nice lil' date on a walk around a wood and heath and talking to a stranger/someone i dont know entirely was sO REFRESHING????? like i didnt realise how "meh" my mood was without talking to new people, i literally came back and couldnt stop smiling in my bed i was like in social shock?? amazing stuff lov people would recommend

 

[Weiland]

Antisocial as in having no regard for anyone else? Yes, I choose to be like that.
(Kidding, pls don't kill me!)

I don't particularly choose to be asocial (or as you guys call it, antisocial). A lot of it is due to the fact that I haven't many friends and the fact that people think I'm annoying lol. It's whatever, I guess.

 

[Pyoopi]

I am not. I like to go out and enjoy my time with friends. However I was a workaholic during college and so I would turn down a lot of requests to hang out. It wasn't because I didn't want to but I was so focused on creating great pieces. Any free time I did have I would weigh in my chances if I should spend time with them or just stay home/relax.

So friends usually caught me to get lunch or a happy treat (cakes or bubble tea).

 

[Dim]

Yes and no

I was just extremely introverted as a kid, I'd rather just be by myself than spend time with someone and talk. Some kids were even interested in being friends by like, it isn't like I was shy or didn't like them or had anything personal against them or anything, but just regularly being friends with someone wasn't my thing. I don't know why, and sometimes I feel like that's why my social life is nearly nonexistent

Of course, it became harder for me when people started to harrass me, mainly for my autism. Other kids at school just thought I was always weird for never speaking (like wtf is wrong with that?) What made it even worse was that all my brothers ended up treating me the same way so years of making enemies instead of friends has just made me so envious and bitter towards people in general, and I know that makes me sound like a narcissist.

I've been trying to get out of my shell though and make friends, and I made a couple who are very chill. I've hung out with one a couple of times. I probably don't hang out with him as often as he want to but again, I end up being introverted and not want to but I still do it because I don't want to lose any friends and he's really opened up to me and actually treats me like a friend, something someone hasn't done for me in a while.

 

[Halloqueen]

I'm naturally more introverted and have always been a shy, quiet, reserved person. I've never really been comfortable verbally communicating with anyone unless I'm already close to them, like family members or close friends. All the close friends I had growing up are people who took the initiative to talk to me, since I frankly didn't really know how to go about doing so and still kinda don't tbh. Up until a few years ago, I feel that I lacked charisma, but I've been developing that more as time has gone on.

All of my best friends are online and unfortunately long distance, though I've met and spent time with a few of them. In scenarios where I have people around physically to do things with then I'm not against socializing, but I don't really know that many people in my area. People who I did know around here have moved elsewhere.

I'm pretty comfortable this way though. It'd be nice to have some people I knew within a reasonable distance, and maybe someday that will be the case, but considering my introversion I'm fine being alone. I prefer the written word and communicating through text anyhow.

 

[Reginald Fairfield]

I might be more social irl of we didn't have so many crackheads, or people that try to sound like rapper Eminem.

 

[Dunquixote]

I second most of what Halloqueen said.

I have a lot of social anxiety and general anxiety, I’m shy and introverted. I’m also on the spectrum and that makes it even harder. I have trouble understanding tones, mood, seeing if someone is joking or note, humor. I have a hard time talking - i stumble a lot and it takes me a long time to collect my thoughts. These are just a handful of the problems. I’ve lost so many friends it has gotten to the point where I feel like I’m not meant to have friends or socialize. I’ve made so many good friends online but even online I mess up too much. I’m really frustrated with myself and sad. I try so hard to be a good friend (my best friend tells me though not to try so hard otherwise people will find that I’m off). I don’t understand why none of my personal friends except for him ever tried to understand that my anxiety is not a choice and my autistic behavior. I don’t mean to be rude; I don’t know what is socially acceptable. Like why is telling a mutual they’re talking bad about them so wrong?

 

[SkyKnight03]

I can speak with and get along with anybody. I can be a chatterbox.

I've only ever had one truly intimate friendship though.

It's been lonely sailing for me

 

[Rosch]

I think it really depends on the situation for me. I can easily make conversation with anyone. But I can be anti-social if I feel like I'm in the wrong kind of situation, time, place or group of people.

 

[nightglow]

I do choose to not be social. Online is different, but irl unless you have similar interests to me, I'm gonna bore you or make you feel uncomfortable if I push to socialize with you. Feeling fake or getting fake vibes from another person because they are trying to be nice or polite or are trying to force socializing too is very unbearable for me.
Other adults are often super busy, and if they have kids, that is just an additional obstacle.
I'm often tired, and I have my own illness that doesn't make things easy either.
When I worked, I wasn't interested in telling my life story and sharing every detail of my life with co-workers, who, were eager to do that and expected it from others. And yeah, it caused friction.
I've been a person who is fine by themselves for a long period of time. I can entertain myself. And after a few hours of being around others, I'm ready to go home and unwind anyway.
"If you're wanting to be my friend, will you be a chill friend? Would you be content sitting on a bench with me on a nice day and neither of us saying much and being ok with that? Are you ok with just meeting for a meal or just visiting for a couple of hours? Are you also gonna put forth effort in setting up a time to meet up or am I expected to always do that?"
I do think personality is definitely involved with me, but I think also accepting facts like me and them often don't have the energy, or sometimes time, is part of it too.
I also think as adults .. and with age, the perception of friendship is very different than people who are in school. As such, I think people who are coming out of school and adjusting to adult life have a difficult time with the change/difference.