Did you have strict parents growing up?

[dizzy bone]

My mom wasn't really the stereotypical "asian parent" but I did go through some of that when I was really young. She probably thought she had to make me and my brother do all those extra curriculars like music and kumon and have strict curfews because other parents were doing it, but once I got to high school (which is typically when parents are super strict) she was just like whatever do what you want . I never showed her a single report card in high school which is amazing and unheard of for a korean family lmao. I can't say the same for my brother though. She still imposed strict curfews and tutors on him whereas I didn't have any. I'm pretty sure it's because my mom caught my brother smoking and drinking and knew he hung out with those 양아치 types (means bully/rebellious) and thought that she had to discipline him more. Whereas once I got to high school my mom treated me like a friend or sister and even encouraged me to go clubbing with my friends which was super weird. It actually weirded me out so much that I voluntarily didn't go crazy with my freedom. Maybe it was reverse psychology? When my dad still lived with us he was also apparently very harsh on my brother but I don't really have much memory of him "raising" or discipling me at all that I forget he was even there. He had already moved out when I started high school.

I remember my mom used to hit me and my brother on our hands with a rod a few times when we didn't do well on tests... and then one day she apologised to us and said she wouldn't do it again, and she didn't. After we both graduated high school my mom eased on my brother and didn't put any expectations on him/us at all. I don't think she ever really wanted to raise kids that way, she just thought she had to. We're still both really close to my mom and I'm super grateful to her.

 

[Yoshi155]

They’re Nigerian ofc Practically every way imaginable. I think I would be skinned alive if they found out that I watch adult shows. And until I got to high school I had to go to sleep at 8:30. I don't have that many people's numbers because I don't want my parents to check my phone. I'm expected to study for like two hours after coming home from school. I prefer to not think about it. Of course, I still love them, I just think it would be better if they laid off just a teeny bit.

 

[S.J.]

I think my parents were quite lenient! I think they gave us a lot of freedoms. They were generally ok with things like makeup, piercings, dying your hair, concerts, staying at other people's houses, etc. I didn't have a bed time as a teenager, as long as I woke myself up and went to school on time.

I think with those freedoms came the responsibility to use common sense, which I think I did for the most part!

The only "rules" I can actually remember were being expected to do the dishes every night, and helping clean on the weekend, and they were less rules, and more just what we did!

 

[Beanz]

my parents? no. my grandma? somewhat, my brother and i were with her majority of the time since my parents were at work.

 

[mogyay]

nope, very relaxed & chill!

 

[Envy]

My parents were somewhat strict. I wouldn't say remarkably so, though. TBH, I'm not sure I have a proper understanding of what constitutes strict or lenient, so I could be completely off and maybe my parents weren't strict at all.

I was also grounded a lot up through my mid teens. They'd take snacks, pop, TV, radio, video games, toys, etc. away. I think the last time I was grounded was age 16, and it was for not doing well in Algebra... which was not my fault. I suck at math. Curse math. lol

One kinda strict thing that bothered me a lot was making me go to church. Thankfully, my parents weren't (and aren't to this day) on the craziest end of that, so church was just on Sundays and it could be argued that they were lenient on this matter compared to many. But I found church to be the most boring thing ever. They laid off of this in my mid-teens.

Age 14 is when they first allowed me to join forums (13 is the standard first age allowed, so a little later for me). I was allowed to use the internet for at least two or three years before then, though. Which might have been rare and considered very lenient as that was back in the early 2000s and the internet was considered a luxury back then.

I could sense frustration from my mom in my teens as she expressed the internet "ruining me". I have a feeling what that was about now and we have mended. But certainly, there was a loss of control then.

They got so much more lenient on me in my teens. I was generally good. They didn't have to worry about me going to parties, drinking or doing drugs. I only ever got grounded for the silliest of things.

 

[Seastar]

The only reason I hadn't responded to this yet is my memory isn't very good.
I remember having a set bedtime and it was annoying because I'd lie awake in bed and just not be able to sleep at that time.
I also know my parents had some terrible punishments though I seem to only be able to half remember things.
I remember getting yelled at for eating peanut butter in my room. Also crying because something (?) had happened to the blinds on a window, I think (?), which my dad was angry about and I was trying to enjoy my limited computer time when it was discovered. I honestly don't remember what that was. I'm also fairly certain I was given physical punishments before but I can't seem to remember a single one, which kinda worries me. Oh, I remember them throwing away the very few Neopets TCG cards I had JUST because they found them in my school binder. Why?
I remember my mom also seeing most of my art as just trash lying around and it would often get thrown away and I'd get yelled at for trying to save it...
Another thing entirely though is that later on my sister was doing poorly in school and I ended up being indirectly punished along with her, which wasn't fair at all. Couldn't watch TV during that time because it was the same TV she was banned from and there wasn't really anywhere for her to go. The 3DS, which we shared because we only had one, was also taken away. I also consider having to hear her get yelled at as a shared punishment in a sort of way because I can't handle yelling (and still can't today).

Despite all that, my parents have been way less strict now that we're both adults. Those punishments don't happen at all now. I definitely don't want to be a child ever again since that apparently affected how I was treated.

 

[nightglow]

When I was younger they were less strict but a general rule of thumb is I had to be by myself and quiet and I'd be fine. I wasn't allowed to do things or join things except one time I was allowed to join girl scouts as you had to raise your own money for things. I was allowed to walk where ever in town. As I got older (late teen and early adult until I left) I wasn't allowed to go anywhere (including the back yard without being spied on) or have friends. My parents (mostly my mom) were very backwards. Not much more really needs to be said, but you get an idea.

 

[KittenNoir]

I am Italian so yep my parents were strict and I am the oldest child too so I had to set a good example.

 

[Aniko]

Um... Hard to say. They sent me to the convenience store all alone when I was 4 yo. I had to babysit myself and my brother at 9, we were left alone for days when I was 13-14, my father just left money on the table and disappeared for like 3 days. Parents were not home often and they often forgot about me when I had late school activities. Yet I was expected to study as soon as I came home from school, then make supper, do the dishes. In silence. We were not allowed to talk or make noise past 9pm. I was not allowed to watch cartoons or do anything that was too childish, videogames were banned, no white bread, no sugar, no right to seat on the sofa, no friends in the house, not allowed to go to pyjamas parties or any parties unless they were relatives. I was expected to be serious and quiet but often left unsupervised....

 

[VanitasFan26]

Yes I did.....and its a long painful story. I really don't want to talk about it.

 

[cIementine]

i used to think they were when i was a child, but now i realise that they were/are absolutely not strict and i'm grateful for the boundaries they imposed that i used to envy other kids not having. while i was on forums at a very very young age, i wasn't allowed social media until i was 16, which is quite late. i know what i was like in my early teens and i think it's a blessing that there is no digital footprint of me on social media before that time. when i was younger i felt it was segregating me from my peers, but none of my closest friends are very active on social media to this day. having a healthy relationship with it and just being able to enjoy it with fresh eyes as a way to connect with people during my uni years was super helpful. most kids i knew were allowed to play cod and gta at a very young age, and my mum wouldn't let my brother play them. i also think this was a good move - cod in and of itself is fine but being an online game, i don't think it would have benefitted my brother to have been exposed to the culture of misogyny and slurs in the chat functions (but i suspect he was privy to that through friends and other games he played anyway).

something i never understood and still don't resonate with about my parenting is how house proud my mum is. anyone coming over, even if just to check the boiler, was a catalyst to deep clean our rooms and entire house and often caused arguments because of how nitpicking and anxious she became. this is still the case today! if my school uniform had a slight wrinkle i'd be yelled at, and it frustrated me how appearances-oriented she was. i now understand this to be class insecurity from her upbringing and a consequence of the agoraphobic tendencies she had in my youth. but the older i got, the more relaxed she got. she wouldn't supply me with alcohol like many other parents as i was nearing legal drinking age, but she definitely knew of it and didn't mind. she finds it funny when my brother comes home smelling like a certain plant. she always said that she'd never let me and my boyfriend share a bed when he stayed over but then when it came to it she didn't mind at all! my brother and i find this turn of events funny - she was quite strict about minor things but when more major areas came along she didn't mind.

i also realise i primarily refer to my mum - my dad just went along with whatever she thought was right or wrong. i have no idea what his stance is on a lot of these things, but he only ever made a fuss when he was following through on discipline my mum had established.