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Guest, can you feel the love in the air? Valentine's Week at The Bell Tree has begun with a new mini-event featuring four activities to enjoy -- new and returning collectibles are up for grabs! Dive in to the love here.
In December I tried cocaine for the first time and went on a 2 hour binge of it that night.
And honestly, I'd do it again if offered, it was pretty fun, I felt euphoric and I couldn't stop talking lol.
Back when I was a teenager I got caught up in a lot of internet drama. And then I left the communities I was a part of. But... I was still a teenager. I could not let things go completely. So... I... this is terrible. I was really close to one of the members there at one point, he was a moderator. He had given me his password. He was still a moderator. I signed onto his account and randomly started deleting topics which the members I hated were participating in.
GUYS. This was ten years ago. I'll never do it again. >.< ...But it is kind of funny in hindsight... but still terrible, very terrible. I betrayed someone's trust. *sigh*
I feel like I'm the most inferior, stupid, childish person in the world. I truly hate myself, and on top of being mentally ill, I really have to be careful around less than savory substances. My genes and my neuroses are a perfect storm for drug/alcohol addiction.
Okay, I had a major crush on this girl in school, so what I did was spend every moment I could with her, and my friends started to mock me saying that im her boyfriend (in which I wanted to be) and she said that she would like to have me as a boyfriend but I was forced to decline due to my friends and It hurt, really, really bad. But on the good side is that over the past 2-3 years since that event my friends have matured and supported me to go out and get her.
In December I tried cocaine for the first time and went on a 2 hour binge of it that night.
And honestly, I'd do it again if offered, it was pretty fun, I felt euphoric and I couldn't stop talking lol.
I enjoy urban exploration, it satisfies my natural curiosity and mixes well with my love of photography and history. Unfortunately entering a property without owner's permission is illegal pretty much everywhere, though it hasn't deterred me or the thousands of others who go through these long abandoned and usually crumbling places. After scoping out spots like the Pontiac Silverdome, a high school, hospital, sugar mill, and Titan I ICBM silo complex I feel like it's all downhill from here.
I basically cheated on my ex. I told him I wanted "a break" because I thought I was being nice instead of just breaking up with him. It's a shame because he was super sweet and an attractive guy but I found him so irritating. I ended up hooking up with another guy after a few days. I'm not proud of it but I wouldn't really say I'm ashamed. I still feel sorry for him since we haven't talked ever since and he was fun, but I screwed it up because one day he tried to get in touch with me (a few months after) however I ended up being very aggressive towards him. Honestly he was being a hypocrite but I was a very bad girlfriend and I didn't have the right to act like that.
The guy I hooked up with is my current boyfriend. I'm not a committed person and he wants to stay with me for the rest of our lives. This time I ended up being very loyal to him though and he was controlling. I ended up not being able to socialize because he'd get extremely pissed. Then I find out that he was talking to a lot of girls without telling me. I was a very laid back person when it comes to stuff like that but it really bummed me out, and unfortunately this happened recently so I don't trust him. The relationship was incredibly unfair and I'm glad that I told him. A lot of people might ask "why are you staying with him?" but trust me, it's hard. I still love him and he's sorry however I'm not planning to stay with him for long though.
he gives me a lot of money and gifts too so what can you do
i barely talk to my friends but i think that it might be for the best. im not in a good place atm and i cant rly take care of friendships and theyve never liked me anyway. it feels kinda nice that i've accepted that i'll leave it alone. if they want to talk to me they can reach out (which they won't do but i don't mind) but i won't put in the same effort as ive been putting in for the past 5-6 years.
that's not very Dirty Secret-y but . theres more . one of the friends is alright, i guess? but everything they do makes me angry and i find myself hating them really often. theyve been really mean to me in the past and theyre self centered and i can't stand their attitude. sometimes i get impulses to tell them everything i dislike about them and everything bad theyve done to me but then i think about it and remember that they dont give a **** about me and i will jsut be a giant asshat if i do that. still, it makes me strangely happy when i see them posting on social media about being sad lmao im petty
Yeah I totally realized that, every time another line was passed to me again I always accepted it, it's not that it was addicting but I just...wanted to...have another one? Hahaha okay I guess I can totally understand how it's addicting.
I talk behind people's backs, but it's normally 'cause I know they do the same to me. It's unhealthy but if they aren't gonna talk to me directly, I don't feel the need to talk to them directly.
I really really want a girlfriend. Like I have dreams about girls all the time but I don't tell my boyfriend... I don't mean a girlfriend to replace him, but a girlfriend ALONG with him. Maybe later in our relationship we can talk about doing a poly thing but I don't know if we're ready for it yet... I kind of want to start looking like go on dating sites but I don't want to do anything without talking to him about it
I enjoy urban exploration, it satisfies my natural curiosity and mixes well with my love of photography and history. Unfortunately entering a property without owner's permission is illegal pretty much everywhere, though it hasn't deterred me or the thousands of others who go through these long abandoned and usually crumbling places. After scoping out spots like the Pontiac Silverdome, a high school, hospital, sugar mill, and Titan I ICBM silo complex I feel like it's all downhill from here.
After scoping out spots like the Pontiac Silverdome, a high school, hospital, sugar mill, and Titan I ICBM silo complex I feel like it's all downhill from here. 
