Do You Cope More Negatively or Positively?

[Dawnpiplup]

Whenever you're upset, do you tend to cope with your feelings in a more negative or a more positive way? Negative methods would include bottling up your emotions, criticizing yourself, being in denial, harming yourself, etc.

I often use negative ways to cope. For example, I would listen to music that keeps me all tense and empowers my emotions, or I would just deal with it passively. I've done this for quite a while now. I really ought to try out more effective coping skills, but it can be tough to break free from a fixed mindset.

 

[Bcat]

I have this habit of whenever something upsets me, I put all my feelings in a box. I keep adding to that box little by little until suddenly the box is bursting at the seems and the lid pops off and the whole thing explodes. Usually over something tiny and inconsequential.

When the whole situation could be avoided if I would just deal with my problems as they happened. But y'know what are you gonna do? Talk about my feelings like some kind of madman???

 

[elytheia]

For a long time in my life, my methods were more on the negative side.

Although I had a good relationship with my parents, I was afraid to confide in them. I realize now that it wasn't anything they did, but rather was due to my over-imaginative mind (and TV portrayal of parents). For a long time bottled up my feelings. I acted strong. I bottled this in for weeks, or even months of the time until "exploded." Once in awhile, I'd either start violent bawling at the smallest though, or have a huge outburst or anger for the most insignificant issue. Of course, the tears trickled alone. My outburst didn't only affect me, but my little sister. I have 2 sisters, and didn't used to get along with the middle one. Everything she did just irked me. I constantly yelled at her, and guilt tripped her. Yes, it was toxic and is one of my biggest regrets.

I was just all around unhappy.

Throughout middle school and most of my highschool career, I was unhappy, but you'd never be able to tell just by looking. But sometime during maybe 11th grade I started to change my habits.

I started watching journaling videos and I was OBSESSED with them. As a kid I used to love writing so I took it upon myself to start journaling. At first, I just wanted to make pretty tumblr-y aesthetic journals, but I got lazy (lol) and just started scribbling my thoughts. Everything I felt trickled out of my fingertips and onto the pages. I'd write and write and somehow that made it a little better.

Flash forward now, 2nd year of college, and I am still struggling to cope with things healthily. But I am much, much happier. I am working hard at repairing my relationship with my little sister (thankfully she's forgiven me and we are much better). I learned to confide in others, esp. my mom. It wasn't so scary after all (but I had to hold my breath while telling her in one loong sentence). I still bottle up some emotions, and do have mini outbursts at times but it's not like it was back then.

I wish you the best in finding healthy coping methods for you, and thank you for allowing us to know something so personal.

 

[Hellfish]

If I'm stressed or really angry or depressed, I tend to put aside those feelings as much as possibly, take a deep breath and think positively. Some of the things I think about are that I will still be alive tomorrow and its inevitable that life will go on. If something bad happens I just deal with it because it has has already happened and I cant time travel (not yet anyways ^-^ ).

Most people I know have short fuses and get angry or stressed when something goes off slightly, I tend to stay calm and happy through the worst situations and consider to have an extremely long fuse. The downside to me being able to deal with enormous amounts of hate depression and stress is that when my fuse runs out theres a bloody nuclear bomb at the other end, the couple of times I have broken have been catastrophic and rather embarrassing. The only one I can recall was when my friends where black mailing me and physically pushing me away from other people, i ended up pushing aside the person blocking me and kicking the door down, then started semi yelling and semi internally crying as I ranted on about how much I hate the things they do to me and that I've endured years and years of their ****, but I'm done with that. It was really embarrassing because a large portion of the college would've heard me and the next day i was happy and completely back to normal but everyone else hadn't forgotten...

Yeah, if you're worried about venting steam, sometimes it's good for you ^-^

 

[Midoriya]

I tend to deal with it positively, actually. I do feel depressed or sad at times when things don?t go my way, but I rebound faster than anyone I know. I could be feeling like I?m in a ditch and feel better the same day. And every mistake I?ve made in the past only helps me to not make them again.

My parents feel like I play video games and watch anime as an escape, which I technically do and is the defense part of my Aspergers (Mild Autism), but that serious part of me is just who I am. I developed a sense of humor when I was in high school though and know how to take a joke.


EDIT: Also, I should mention I never smile unless someone makes me laugh, but just because I?m not smiling doesn?t mean I?m not feeling fine or ?happy?.

 

[Hellfish]

I tend to deal with it positively, actually. I do feel depressed or sad at times when things don’t go my way, but I rebound faster than anyone I know. I could be feeling like I’m in a ditch and feel better the same day. And every mistake I’ve made in the past only helps me to not make them again.

My parents feel like I play video games and watch anime as an escape, which I technically do and is the defense part of my Aspergers (Mild Autism), but that serious part of me is just who I am. I developed a sense of humor when I was in high school though and know how to take a joke.


EDIT: Also, I should mention I never smile unless someone makes me laugh, but just because I’m not smiling doesn’t mean I’m not feeling fine or “happy”.

That's sorta how I feel. I also have a very mute facial expression that makes me look like I'm really worried but I'm actually just fine ^-^

 

[babysweatyknees]

I'm usually quite tame and friendly, even if life is getting the best of me. The only exception of this is when someone starts bullying me? I'm incredibly meek and haven't really figured out that I can stand up for myself, so people who have a complex tend to use that against me. It takes me a really long time before I start getting defensive of myself, and someone has to be doing/saying things that are really horrid.
Really, I can deal with anything but toxic people in a positive way. I use video games to mellow out and I love my bullet journal, so that helps a lot too.

 

[Raayzx]

I'm literally never negative unless someone messes with me. I always stay positive and try to spread positivity.

 

[xSuperMario64x]

I'm literally never negative unless someone messes with me. I always stay positive and try to spread positivity.

Pls give me positivity. I'm nothing but negative lol

 

[Raayzx]

Pls give me positivity. I'm nothing but negative lol

Thank me later

 

[visibleghost]

i have like twenty bad coping mechanisms and two good lol.

 

[Dormire]

Negatively. I'm a self-destructive person. Tend to harm myself over everything I'm upset about.

 

[Soigne]

Almost exclusively negative up until a few years ago, now it’s mainly positive. It’s hard to break the cycle though & there are setbacks at times, but for the most part I have positive coping mechanisms now.

 

[Zireael]

Definitely negatively. I tend to bottle things up until they explode, and when it comes to that I can get pretty nasty. It's not something I'm proud of at all. Lately I've been trying to work on it and finding some sort of outlet, but I seem to have difficulty turning negative energy into something productive. I've tried drawing and it usually just makes me feel worse if I can't get anything good started, so now I've been writing down what's bothering me and how I can change things to make myself feel better, if possible. It's an on-going process but I'm hoping to find positive results, but right now I'd say I'm still an extremely negative person when something goes wrong.

 

[IzzyShika]

When I'm upset I just cry T-T

 

[Croconaw]

I?m a naturally positive person. It sucks how so many people try to push their negativity on other people.

 

[goro]

i've always been on the more negative side, in fact i relapsed recently in probably my worst cope. i'm trying to push the negative ones away (lashing out, hurting others, hurting myself, binge eating, ect.) but it's super hard at times, especially considering right now. usually i play a video game or watch videos, but if i don't have the energy or i'm under too much stress i tend to break.

tldr;

 

[Crash]

i've always strayed towards negative, but as i've gotten older i think my coping methods have improved a lot. it's somewhere in the middle now, depending on the situation

 

[sleepydreepy]

It depends. If its a situation with other people or a situation about someone in particular I cope well I guess, I mean, I will work with that person if necessary to fix the problem. But if its only myself and something bad happens I don't cope well, and I will be really hard on myself

 

[reririx]

I was abused and bullied while I was growing up. I was so young and I didn't know how to cope. I coped negatively. I blamed myself for all the abuse and bullying. I thought something was wrong with me and I did something wrong. Growing up, I had low self-esteem and I was diagnosed with clinical depression, general anxiety disorder, and post-traumatic disorder. I struggled a lot and eventually I moved into self-harm as a way to cope. I was 13 when I began self-harming.

It took me years. In fact, it wasn't about a year or so ago (I'm 25 now) until I felt happy. I can happily and proudly say that I have changed my life completely. I don't know how I did it. I just woke up one day and decided that I needed to stop being miserable. At this point, I stopped self-harming through cutting but was drinking a lot to make myself feel better. After having that epitome of where I deserve to be happy... I forgave my abusers, I forgave my bullies, and I forgave myself. I began to work a lot more on myself both physically and mentally. I made wonderful bonds with people and now I am in a good place.

It took me over 10 years to get to where I am and my advice to those who are having a difficult time and feel that they can't escape, please be patient and kind to yourself. It differs from person to person but the main point is that it'll take time.

However, I also want to mention that I am not perfect. I do get negative thoughts and find myself going back to blaming myself or finding faults in my appearance or personality (I don't self-harm or drink myself until I pass out)...

So I try my best to keep my head above the waters and engage in more proactive and positive coping mechanisms, such as exercise, reading, or going on a walk. It's okay to have bad days and it's natural to sometimes have bad thoughts, I just pray that if you do self-harm... that you can stop one day. It's easier said than done, but please love yourself a bit more. You deserve it.