Do You Cope More Negatively or Positively?

[cornimer]

Hmm I would say a bit of both? I am very sensitive and when something upsets me I usually cry and beat myself up for about a day, but after that I try to force myself to think more positively (or atleast neutrally) and keep going. My therapist taught me to try to take a step back and analyze the situation with a neutral mindset (eg. not assuming I know what other people are thinking, not disaster-projecting, etc.) so I try to remember to employ these tactics.

 

[SublimeDonut]

There's a bright side to almost everything, and I've gotten really good at not focusing on the bad

 

[BbyDeeEMILY]

I try to thing about the benefit of the doubt in all situations, I feel as if I'm the leader/ mum of the group taking care of everyone so I always think of the positive in all situations ☆ ~

 

[Excaloser]

I've been seeing a therapist for a little while now to help me try and find more positive ways to cope. I think I've been getting a lot better recently, but in order for me to actually take care of myself, I have to almost split off into two parts. The mother figure, and the child. It's hard to explain, since it's not like 'I' am either of them, but more like it's just a line of thinking. It's a lot easier to care for myself when I take 'myself' out of the equation. Like when I start to panic I think in the mother mindset, to take deep breaths, and get to the bottom of the issue so I can start there and work my way up until everything is okay. When I'm shutting down and shutting people off I think in the child mindset, to do fun things and eat tasty food, to talk to people that make me happy, until I feel better.

In highschool I suffered with a lot of really awful coping mechanisms like self-isolation, self-loathing, and constantly internalizing my issues. Nowadays I still lapse into that mindset every now and again, but for the most part i'll have good or neutral days, which is a lot better than the constant bad I used to experience.

One of the best coping methods I've learned is this: if you struggle from dissociation, whenever you can pinpoint that it's happening, take a bite out of a lemon. It sounds bizzare, but the intense sour taste and unpleasant experience will ground you. It's worked for me really well, and if that's something anyone's going through, I'd definetly reccomend giving it a shot.

Also, you're not obligated to stay around anyone who doesn't make you happy, nor are you responsible for their actions. The same goes for them with you. If you feel like someone is too draining on your mental health, it's okay to let them go. Take every experience and relationship you have as a learning lesson for the future and don't dwell on old memories.

 

[SoraDeathEater]

Im not sure what this would fall under but: I usually cope by making jokes at my downfalls?? Like my depression, Id joke about it even if I really dont feel in the mood to? Or today with putting my senior dog down... I just made jokes about it afterwards making everyone think I am fine when in reality I lost is at the vet and cried my eyes out.. Like publically I dont show my feelings other than "Hey look lets joke around about this topic!" So people always think im in a good mood but in reality the more I joke about it, the worse im feeling.. Before i use to be majorly self-destructive.. I dont know, since I feel the joking is less explaining whereas injuries its harder to cover up. I do also lie about my feelings a lot and just pretend it doesnt hurt when it really does...

 

[HistoryH22]

I suppose it really depends on how life is going at the present time. If things are going well and something bad happens, I'm generally able to deal with it easily. However, if it's a successive numbers of obstacles or issues I tend to get bogged down in the negative.

 

[LadyDestani]

I thought a lot about what to select and I ended up with "It depends." I'm generally a pretty easy-going, even-keeled kind of person. I don't get upset over a lot of things and I'm pretty good at looking at multiple sides of a situation and putting myself in other people's shoes. But, every now and then, some little thing will really get under my skin and I will have a break down. When that happens, I just have to get it out of my system...cry, scream, whatever it takes until I'm spent and then I can think rationally again and work through the situation.

 

[namiieco]

I usually just bottle it and hope I can forget about it by drowining myself in school work or escaping through video games and movies. I think I'm quite good at keeping my emotions surpressed so I never really burst out in emotion.

 

[cannedcommunism]

I used to try and cheer myself up or distract myself, but mostly I think the best thing for me to do is to just let myself feel whatever I'm feeling. I used to berate myself for feeling sad (it's usually sadness or a depressive episode) but once I realized there's nothing wrong with not feeling good all the time, it was so much easier to deal with things.

 

[Antonio]

I hide my pain behind humor because it's the only way I know how to respond.

 

[dragonpisces69]

I voted that it depends, but I think it leans more towards coping negatively, as I'm not someone who gets over their anger and sadness easily (it runs in my family, but due to me having autism, I experience it a bit worse than others), cannot ignore negative thoughts and states of mental pain, and also gets mentally hurt easily that way, too, as those emotions are mostly caused by other people being mean to me for no reason in particular...

Whenever I'm in a state of anger, sadness and/or mental pain (the latter in which I'm quite often, unfortunately), I do try to distract myself with positive things in the meantime, but sadly, that doesn't last for too long, as once I stop (when I need to go to bed and turn my tablet off after reading, for example), the negativity comes flooding right back at me, putting me back in such a state.

Sometimes, that mental pain gets so bad that I have no other option than to physically hurt myself by banging my fists on my upper legs or biting my arms and backs of my hands, if the mental pain doesn't automatically become physical pain already. (One time, I was in a state of mental pain, when suddenly, the inside of my ears started hurting as if they were infected. ) I kinda wish I had a different coping strategy that involved my teeth being in something that isn't edible (my weird caregiver often wants me to eat apples if my jaws are strained, probably to eventually make me allergic to them...), since my anger often finds its way towards my teeth somehow.

Furthermore, I just scream and weep like a toddler having a tantrum since I can barely control my anger, which becomes worse when people are nearby and think that I "can just talk about it" and that I "behave like a 'little boy'", which basically means that in case of (especially such) anger, I should really be left alone before I harm anyone else than myself.

Tbh my negative feelings kinda clash with my overall introverted and mostly quiet personality, or perhaps are they the consequences? The world may never know... and I should see a psychiatrist as well, but I cannot due to the current ongoing pandemic.