I always celebrated with friends in kindergarten and high school. The last birthday I celebrated was my 19th (now I’m 23).
I slowly started to feel more and more stressed during my birthdays, because while I had quite a few good friends, they didn’t really know each other. I never was part of one big friend group but made individual friends.
My friends were so different from each other with opposite interests and personalities that I always worried if they’d get along, find someone to chat with and have a good time. I always ended up rushing back and forth, making sure everyone was happy, that I ended up not having a good time myself. The anxiety just got worse every year. I was so afraid of awkward silence in the room that I just stopped celebrating. Also, most of my friends moved far away to study and work and it’s impossible to gather them all on the same day.
The last few years I just celebrated with my parents and my husband. We cook something I like or go to a restaurant, spend the day and evening together, and have a quiet cozy time. It’s ideal for me
I also don’t really like attending birthday parties of others anymore - but I wouldn’t turn down a friend’s invitation. I feel like that would be very selfish. It’s about my friend that day, not about me.