Do you think people should be a bit nicer in Brewsters?

[Soigne]

That quote makes absolutely 0 sense but alright.

 

[Lackadaisy]

I’ll start being nice by saying I really like Soigne’s new signature - so cute :3

 

[~Unicorn~]

.

 

[Nightmares]

I'm also just gonna put this here, a major thing here that I hate the forums for, and I'm having so much trouble with:

Spoiler:

aggressive lgbt people. That's it.

When I first came to this site, I only went through the animal crossing sections of the site. I thought everyone here was nice and cuddly, and nobody was mean. I did lots of trades and stuff and this place made me happy. From the good experiences I have had here before, I wanted to return, so I did.

This time, as I was more of an official member, I decided to look through the other parts of the forum. I looked through here. What's your favourite food, What do you look like, etc. etc....looked nice.

Then there were political threads. One about abortion. I didn't really like abortion, so I just said that, and got attacked. Big fight the whole day, I got put down a lot. But I still stayed here. It wasn't that bad, there were others who also didn't like abortion.

Then comes the lgbt part. A thread named "are you straight?". I said yes, someone else says "straights are scary", I ask why, and then a big list of things like "they kill us and we are scared and we don't have equal rights." Ok I understand. I say "I know, but there isn't much to do since there are people in the world who hate lgbt, but I guess you'd need to do your best to be with supportive people and stay safe, maybe America will support you more, kinda supporting already, blah blah" and then flame war.

People are like "you don't know what it's like", "we are getting killed y'know", "you better not put that opinion here", etc....

Now, a user here (you probably know but I won't say names) is quite aggressive with their opinions and thoughts, and are quite mean when someone says a small thing. I found them quite annoying and rude, especially when someone isn't even being rude and they give hate to them. I was looking through threads, and I saw people ACTUALLY telling them that they are aggressive and rude, their statements aren't valid, etc.

Seeing that flame war made me...kinda happy. (tell me I'm disgusting I know)

Now, BEFORE you start arguing with me, read this:

You don't see me saying "eww lgbt is disgusting and horrible the worst thing ever", do you? Guess what? My family is exactly like that. EXACTLY. They definitely hate lgbt, against it at all means. Obviously inside, as a part of the family, I don't like it either. I admit. I am admitting the truth. On this humble forum, I'm just trying to show respect to the users that are lgbt because I don't want to hurt peoples feelings. I know more that half of the people here aren't straight. Are you grateful of how I wasn't showing complete disrespect towards you?

But, sadly....all I got in the end, was hate. Hate hate hate. More and more and...more.

Being nice to lgbt+already disliking it inside+lgbt supporters hating me=lgbt is quite bad.

Basically, you guys kinda showed me that the community is full of people who are aggressive and only want their way 100%. It sucks, really.

(I reworded a lot of things I said in this, for the sake of my sanity. Sorry to the nice lgbt people.)

Ok, now tell me if I should leave the site or not. Tell me if I'm too horrible here because I want to know if you guys even care about me anymore.

Also, if you're gonna argue, I'm not gonna respond. I'm tired of fights.

Probably less with them being LGBTQ and more about them being horrible people... them being trans or whatever is hopefully (and probably) a coincidence
I can name more aggressive/horrible straight cis people irl, but I guess that's because there's such a high number of LGBT members here, idk

 

[Zane]

Are you grateful of how I wasn't showing complete disrespect towards you?

Honestly this attitude is incredibly harmful. Marginalized people (not limited to lgbt people) never owe you "gratitude" because they received the bare minimum of human decency, because this implies that they somehow didn't deserve it to begin with.

I have no opinion on whether you should leave or stay but to keep making your total lack of respect towards the lgbt community about your own wounded feelings is legitimately selfish and tiresome. You admit you actually do have a prejudice due to your family's views so at the very least I think you should stop actively engaging in conversations centered around lgbt-issues until you've educated yourself more, because it's clear you're not ready to discuss these topics maturely with actual members of the community.

 

[hamster]

edit: hm... i dont want to start anything

 

[KnoxUK]

'cough'

 

[hamster]

I know right. I had not so nice things said to me today, it sucks.

i dont mind that you quoted me but i just hope i dont get an angry mob of replies, this thread is about positivity after all

 

[Nightmares]

rip Cherub's edit... I agree, though. Some get pissed off when people don't agree with being trans/gay/etc and they're happy to jump down people's throats at the sudden mention of LGBTQ, yet they're happy to say they "hate straights" or something hjsksks maybe kinda offtopic and not what you were sayng, but I agree anyway, lmAO. The majority of my online friends aren't straight/cis, but some LGBTQ people are pretty ****ing agressive. It's a shame some ****ty people manage to affect the reputation of the whole community ;;

 

[~Unicorn~]

Honestly this attitude is incredibly harmful. Marginalized people (not limited to lgbt people) never owe you "gratitude" because they received the bare minimum of human decency, because this implies that they somehow didn't deserve it to begin with.

I have no opinion on whether you should leave or stay but to keep making your total lack of respect towards the lgbt community about your own wounded feelings is legitimately selfish and tiresome. You admit you actually do have a prejudice due to your family's views so at the very least I think you should stop actively engaging in conversations centered around lgbt-issues until you've educated yourself more, because it's clear you're not ready to discuss these topics maturely with actual members of the community.

Y'know, instead of making some weak comeback I'm just gonna agree with this and move on to somewhere else.

 

[KnoxUK]

i dont mind that you quoted me but i just hope i dont get an angry mob of replies, this thread is about positivity after all

Oh gosh I'm so sorry about that XD

Should I remove/edit it for you?

 

[idiotdoomspiral]

View attachment 209789

I really, really like this image.

 

[Nightmares]

Y'know, instead of making some weak comeback I'm just gonna agree with this and move on to somewhere else.

I think it'd be beneficial if people just learn to take criticism tbh... I'm **** at that too though, so don't think I'm being a little ****
so yeah //clap clap ty Unicorn

 

[seliph]

I'm also just gonna put this here, a major thing here that I hate the forums for, and I'm having so much trouble with:

Spoiler:

aggressive lgbt people. That's it.

When I first came to this site, I only went through the animal crossing sections of the site. I thought everyone here was nice and cuddly, and nobody was mean. I did lots of trades and stuff and this place made me happy. From the good experiences I have had here before, I wanted to return, so I did.

This time, as I was more of an official member, I decided to look through the other parts of the forum. I looked through here. What's your favourite food, What do you look like, etc. etc....looked nice.

Then there were political threads. One about abortion. I didn't really like abortion, so I just said that, and got attacked. Big fight the whole day, I got put down a lot. But I still stayed here. It wasn't that bad, there were others who also didn't like abortion.

Then comes the lgbt part. A thread named "are you straight?". I said yes, someone else says "straights are scary", I ask why, and then a big list of things like "they kill us and we are scared and we don't have equal rights." Ok I understand. I say "I know, but there isn't much to do since there are people in the world who hate lgbt, but I guess you'd need to do your best to be with supportive people and stay safe, maybe America will support you more, kinda supporting already, blah blah" and then flame war.

People are like "you don't know what it's like", "we are getting killed y'know", "you better not put that opinion here", etc....

Now, a user here (you probably know but I won't say names) is quite aggressive with their opinions and thoughts, and are quite mean when someone says a small thing. I found them quite annoying and rude, especially when someone isn't even being rude and they give hate to them. I was looking through threads, and I saw people ACTUALLY telling them that they are aggressive and rude, their statements aren't valid, etc.

Seeing that flame war made me...kinda happy. (tell me I'm disgusting I know)

Now, BEFORE you start arguing with me, read this:

You don't see me saying "eww lgbt is disgusting and horrible the worst thing ever", do you? Guess what? My family is exactly like that. EXACTLY. They definitely hate lgbt, against it at all means. Obviously inside, as a part of the family, I don't like it either. I admit. I am admitting the truth. On this humble forum, I'm just trying to show respect to the users that are lgbt because I don't want to hurt peoples feelings. I know more that half of the people here aren't straight. Are you grateful of how I wasn't showing complete disrespect towards you?

But, sadly....all I got in the end, was hate. Hate hate hate. More and more and...more.

Being nice to lgbt+already disliking it inside+lgbt supporters hating me=lgbt is quite bad.

Basically, you guys kinda showed me that the community is full of people who are aggressive and only want their way 100%. It sucks, really.

(I reworded a lot of things I said in this, for the sake of my sanity. Sorry to the nice lgbt people.)

Ok, now tell me if I should leave the site or not. Tell me if I'm too horrible here because I want to know if you guys even care about me anymore.

Also, if you're gonna argue, I'm not gonna respond. I'm tired of fights.

I could dissect this all day but if your allyship is based on whether people are nice to you it's not allyship and was never allyship in the first place. Guilt tripping people into liking you because "there are worse people" is not going to gain you respect from anyone let alone LGBT people, and is not allyship. Calling us aggressive after we call out harmful behaviour is not allyship.

You want LGBT people to be nice to you? Then you have to hold up your end of the bargain as well. If someone tells you you're being hurtful, no matter how aggressive they are, acknowledge it and work to change your behaviour rather than playing the victim.

As a side note, you did not say this as you said:

"I know, but there isn't much to do since there are people in the world who hate lgbt, but I guess you'd need to do your best to be with supportive people and stay safe, maybe America will support you more, kinda supporting already, blah blah"

This was your actual quote:

well I'm straight and not like that to lgbts, but really lgbts have to learn to deal with those kind of straights because there will always be people that are against lgbt and billions of religious people in the world. Not much you can do about it but just be with people that support you. Not everyone will just accept and respect you, people are different and there's harmful people but you need to avoid, America is probably the most lgbt-accepting country I guess that's the most acceptance you can get there.

But really, I don't find much people to be homophobic or something that bad unless they are highly religious or think lgbts are the worst thing in the universe, lots of people don't really care about them (like me) or accept it. So don't be so fearful of getting killed or something but don't expect everyone to like you as well.

And this:

lol I knew I would come back here and see people complaining about what I said. But seriously not everyone is gonna accept you, that's the way it is

The bolded is what people had a problem with, and frankly if you take a look in the thread no one is really being aggressive towards you. Were they emotional? Sure, because you, a person who has never experienced homophobia first-hand, waved off homophobia as if it's easily ignorable and basically said we have to put on our big boy pants and just live with it, said what could be interpreted as "I don't care about LGBT people", told us how we should feel, and then victimized yourself. People told you how this was a toxic mindset, and you took it personally.

I'm not going to tell you to leave the site, and I'm not going to call you horrible because that's exactly what you want so that you can prove your point about these Evil LGBTs? but I am going to tell you to take a step back, reflect on yourself and what LGBT people are saying to you, and perhaps why we're saying these things.

 

[KnoxUK]

I really, really like this image.

Me too. You have a good sense of photography. Let's keep the positive comments going.

 

[~Unicorn~]

Hush hush, oml we don't need it here
I'm already getting ready to leave

 

[hamster]

Oh gosh I'm so sorry about that XD

Should I remove/edit it for you?

like i said i don't really care, i just thought it was best to keep it to myself. you can remove it if you want

 

[~Unicorn~]

ok I'm going. any last words let me know. bye

 

[Lackadaisy]

You want LGBT people to be nice to you? Then you have to hold up your end of the bargain as well. If someone tells you you're being hurtful, no matter how aggressive they are, acknowledge it and work to change your behaviour rather than playing the victim.

I agree with everything but this part of your post. Even if their feelings of being hurt are valid, being a part of lgbt or any other group does not give a person the right to behave however aggressively they want. I?m not saying to coddle ignorant people, but to understand that respect has to go both ways, especially if you?re hoping for the other person to see your point of view and change their behavior

 

[KnoxUK]

like i said i don't really care, i just thought it was best to keep it to myself. you can remove it if you want

Done. But don't be afraid on sharing your perspective on things. Sugar coating words, even to the extreme will never satisfy some people. Just try to be passive on those situations and never be the aggressor. (It will make them look bad if they argue with you)