Half-Rotten Glop
Long ago someone created this nasty barrel of cursed spirit. We don’t know who, but it must’ve been someone with the worst intentions.
Inside is the most evil you could fit into such a tiny container. In fact, the evil is so strong that just opening it consumes you, and everything breaks loose after that.
First off, the culprit who put this wretched thing into existence (whom we have yet to find the identity of) stuffed it in a pickle jar. It smells as potent as you’d expect.
As for the ingredients:
-A packet of Cheez-Its. Original flavor, because evil is cliche. Also because cheese is smelly.
-Two paperclips that look innocent enough… until you realize they’re bonded to a slice of moldy, bubbling pizza and a runny, boiling rotten egg respectively. We don’t know how that happened. Historians have theorized a spell expert cursed the paperclips. Also, why paperclips? Because evil needs to be organized, otherwise the good guys will win!
-This jar of sins was so stubborn that a paper towel had to be inserted to soak up some of the evil. That’s odd, a messaged appears to have been absorbed…
This stuff is more toxic than cyanide. A twist of the lid, and you’ll become reborn with the ability to… take control of others’ thoughts. Make the majority population think the same, and the planet will be a monopoly in no time.
Corporations will be booming! Nature will be dying! This is the way it was meant to be! Soon, Paperclip Inc.’s stock market share values will soar through the roof of business!
Once the jar attaches to you, you can’t say no…