Etiquette, Manners - Did I misstep?

[6iixx]

We have an unusually close relationship and I'm a gamer since the original days of asteroids.

i'm really glad that she's getting you into the AC community, then. from what i've seen from veteran players, NH is a bit more chillax on things, so you should be able to just go with the flow.

eventually, i'm sure you'll both look back on her reaction and laugh it off.

 

[LoyalDragonfly]

I obviously don't know anything about your daughter, but my first thoughts when reading was something like:
"Wow, that was kind of an overreaction.", followed by
"Ohhh, I wonder if she gave her villagers some sort of weird 'inside joke' greetings or catchphrases that she wouldn't want you to see."
I sometimes used to give my villagers sort of inside jokey greetings and catchphrases that, while not inappropriate, were not things that I would necessarily be excited to take the time to explain to my parents.
I know OP said that her daughter apparently doesn't like talking to her villagers much, but you never know.

 

[Firesquids]

I know people didn't like you talking to their villagers in NL but I didn't think that was a thing in NH.

 

[QueenOpossum]

The problem is that when you talk to villagers from someone's island they will remember you and so when they talk to their villagers the next day they will forever mention how you visit them. It can be annoying because the villager won't stop talking about them so I can upset why your daughter was being very rude but still she should not be so overreactive like that.

That was true in NL.

In NH, your villagers will talk about visitors no matter what, and its not permanent. Usually only a mention or 2.

 

[meggiewes]

I obviously don't know anything about your daughter, but my first thoughts when reading was something like:
"Wow, that was kind of an overreaction.", followed by
"Ohhh, I wonder if she gave her villagers some sort of weird 'inside joke' greetings or catchphrases that she wouldn't want you to see."
I sometimes used to give my villagers sort of inside jokey greetings and catchphrases that, while not inappropriate, were not things that I would necessarily be excited to take the time to explain to my parents.
I know OP said that her daughter apparently doesn't like talking to her villagers much, but you never know.

Oh! I didn't think of that. My dad plays AC too and I would be a little embarrassed by a phrase that Marina would tell me as a greeting if he could see it. It isn't anything bad. Just "as above, so below". I just don't want to explain it to him if he asked.

Luckily, the secret greeting is only between us and it isn't a catchphrase.

 

[th8827]

In older games, talking to villagers make them remember you and comment about you for a long time.

I have friends who came over and talked to everyone, and I only had the villager mention them once. I have also done trades where the trader did not leave the Airport area, and my villagers only mentioned them once. I am pretty sure that Villagers in New Horizons does not remember visitors for a long time, and they comment on them only once, regardless of if you talk to them or not.

It is possible that your daughter was not aware of this change, and got mad at you for doing something that would have been annoying on an older game, but is perfectly fine in New Horizons.

 

[-Blue-]

When people open their islands on this forum, you sometimes see that they don’t want you to talk to their villagers. I suspect they just don’t want their villagers talking about random people who come to visit.

I think your daughter is overreacting.

It doesn't really matter anymore because the villagers will talk about randoms in NH even if they didn't talk to them.

 

[Hopeless Opus]

even if u talk to the villager or not, they will still mention u. so if she doesn't want that, better not have anyone come over in general, i guess? LOL. i wonder what the logic behind it is because talking to them does no harm.

 

[jefflomacy]

When people open their islands on this forum, you sometimes see that they don’t want you to talk to their villagers. I suspect they just don’t want their villagers talking about random people who come to visit.

I think your daughter is overreacting.

Villagers will talk about visitors even if they don't talk to your residents.

Edit: Wow I'm like the 8th person to point this out lol, my bad

 

[mermaidshelf]

I don't like when people talk to my villagers but that's just me. I do find it rude when people don't follow the rules that I set.

However, I don't think that people would find it rude to talk to their villagers, if not stated beforehand. I don't think that's one of the "AC etiquette" rules, or not a commonly accepted one.

1. She should've been clear with you from the beginning that she didn't want you to do that and, in my opinion, she overreacted.
2. You're her mom. You should talk to her about it instead of seeking validation from strangers on the internet. She's entitled to her feelings as are you. We don't know her thought process. You should be communicating with each other.

 

[Bluebellie]

This was a big thing in previous games, because the villages continued to talk and talk about the person who visited, and a lot of people don’t like this. I don’t notice my villagers doing this much in new horizon. That being said...I don’t think I’ve had anyone talk to mine

They used to talk about people even if you didn’t talk to them though in new leaf. Which I don’t see happening here.

 

[annex]

In previous games, like New Leaf, this was the usual etiquette, but with how this new game will have villagers mentioning visitors despite never talking to them, it no longer matters if you talk to the villagers or not. A lot of players don't know this or are very cautious, so they still don't want people to talk to their animals. It's best to ask the host first in those cases.

I just noticed this today. One of my villagers mentioned a visitor that had stopped by yesterday for a trade. They didn't speak to any of my villagers.

 

[dizzy bone]

I never minded if visitors talked to my villagers, both in ACNL and ACNH. In fact, I always brought my visitors over so they could interact with my favourite villagers She might not know the fact that many have already pointed out, so you definitely weren't being rude! The only way to avoid this would to never have you over, which I'm sure she wont want. Grabbing DIYs from crafting villagers is also a very normal WiFi experience and one of the main reasons one would visit an island anyways other than just casually hanging out.

 

[SmoochsPLH]

While it is rude to speak to other people's villagers for reasons already stated by others, and your daughter has every right to be upset about that, I think she definitely overreacted and is in the wrong in her own way too.

From what you've said it doesn't seem like she properly explained to you that she doesn't want you interacting with her villagers, just that she herself doesn't like them/interacts with them. Which I can understand. But you did mention that this is your first AC game so I feel she should be more understanding of that.

All in all it seems like it was just a small spat and I hope you two make up. c: I don't think you were in the wrong or being rude if you didn't know you weren't supposed to interact with her villagers.

 

[Cadbberry]

As mentioned before, the villagers will mention you no matter what unlike in NL. I don't see much harm really, but she should have cleared that with you before coming what she likes or doesn't like. It isn't too big of a deal so please don't stress or worry, its just a fun game, and talking to the animals is just a lot of filler text when people visit! Nothing really rude at all!

 

[DonnaSue]

Responding to a few at once (and not quoting cuz on the forums for my other game, peeps - me included- aren't fond of scrolling through the same thing over and over.

Anyway - she's quarantined so there's no face to face right now. She sits just inside the door going to the top floor of our townhouse to get wifi and i can hear her when shes there LOL .. but I DID facetime her and ask WTH finally and found out that her young man lives on her island as another resident and told her he was going to change all the catchphrases (not sure if he can since it's HER island) but she was nervous about if he HAD and what they would say. As stated, we have a super close relationship and I can't see her having them say anything that would freak me out.

My question was more if this was a general etiquette thing or just her, so I guess next time I'll know that if someone doesn't want me interacting with their islanders, they'll tell me.

Thanks for all the feedback though.

 

[6iixx]

that's really interesting - you mentioned that a young man lives on her island as well? only the switch-holder can create profiles for the island, so she would be in control of this 'young man' on her island as well. almost like when you sign into animal crossing, and you select your profile upon opening the application - that's the only way to access residents on an island. someone else with another switch wouldn't be able to move to her island and take up residency, just visit.

very curious.

 

[Airysuit]

I don't think its common etiquette in this game, that being said, its her island and if she doesn't want you to talk to her villagers you shouldn't.

However the first time you appear to didn't know about that rule, so she should have communicated that more clearly and shouldn't have (over)reacted imo.

I do think its really cute that you try to get better understanding of the game you are playing (or at least the community/common etiquette of thebgsme) instead of going into a discussion with her without knowing the details. Bravo for informing yourself before stating an argument/opinion! Good parenting

 

[Angelbearpuppy]

I dont think you overstepped if it was nkt stated. How old is she anyways?

On a personal note I never cared if people talked to my villiagers or not.

 

[JKDOS]

that's really interesting - you mentioned that a young man lives on her island as well? only the switch-holder can create profiles for the island, so she would be in control of this 'young man' on her island as well. almost like when you sign into animal crossing, and you select your profile upon opening the application - that's the only way to access residents on an island. someone else with another switch wouldn't be able to move to her island and take up residency, just visit.

very curious.

Anyone with physical access to the Switch can create another profile and character without the Switch holder. From what I understand, OP is saying her son/boyfriend/fiancé/spouse shares the island.

@DonnaSue If her villagers do get their catchphrases changed, reporting all 10 villagers to Isabelle at once will fix this problem. Unfortunately, Nintendo broke the game either by bug or purposely allowing villagers to copy each others' custom phrases. So all 10 need to be reported to reset everything.