Friendships that are one-sided.

I feel like it's more the other way around for me since I've always kept to myself more and am more quiet. I sometimes feel bad because I don't put in as much as them but i don't do it on purpose or anything. I guess I also don't like sharing a lot of things either emotionally at least, but theres been times that I do feel comfortable enough to talk to them about stuff. Anyways, I think it's opposite for me so I'm not sure how it is to experience it the other way around but it must be difficult too. =/
 
I think if some one reaches out more than the other that's fine, but what really matters to me is if both people are equally there emotionally or physically for the other when they need it.

For example, I had a "friend" who I would hang out with a lot in college. She would constantly ask me to do favors for her (like save some dinner for her from the dining hall when she would be out studying late) or lean on me emotionally when she was going through a hard time. This is all fine, I actually like doing these types of things for my friends. BUT what would really annoy me is that when I needed her support or asked her to do a favor for me, she was always "busy." That's what I would call a one sided friendship. Everything in that relationship was centered around her and what she wanted or needed, and no consideration or thought was given to me.
I couldn't agree more and I hate it when your there for someone in great times of need but when the situation is reversed and you need support then either become distant from you or are conveniently busy. To be honest it's heartbreaking because it makes you question everything about that person as well as the friendship you thought was pretty solid up until that point.
 
I couldn't agree more and I hate it when your there for someone in great times of need but when the situation is reversed and you need support then either become distant from you or are conveniently busy. To be honest it's heartbreaking because it makes you question everything about that person as well as the friendship you thought was pretty solid up until that point.
Yeah in 2016 I was having a really bad time and my friend was there for me and I really appreciated it, but a couple years later when I was there for her during her hard times I noticed that over time our relationship shifted to just being about her problems and not really enjoying stuff together or her asking me what was going on in my life. Like it kind of felt like I was just being her therapist every time we hung out, and it became quite draining. :/ Especially because I was still going through my own stuff. I wound up putting some distance between us, and while I have been talking to her more lately the relationship still hasn't truly been repaired because I don't think she ever understood what the problem really was.
 
Yeah in 2016 I was having a really bad time and my friend was there for me and I really appreciated it, but a couple years later when I was there for her during her hard times I noticed that over time our relationship shifted to just being about her problems and not really enjoying stuff together or her asking me what was going on in my life. Like it kind of felt like I was just being her therapist every time we hung out, and it became quite draining. :/ Especially because I was still going through my own stuff. I wound up putting some distance between us, and while I have been talking to her more lately the relationship still hasn't truly been repaired because I don't think she ever understood what the problem really was.
I had the exact same problem with a friend I ended up ghosting (not my finest move I know) because I couldn't handle her family drama that never seemed to get any better no matter how much I listened and tried to advice her etc. It was also around the same time my best friend was coming to terms with her dad's terminal illness and him eventually passing away that wasn't pleasant by any means. Basically it put everything into perspective for me that I couldn't continue to be a therapist friend for one who seemed to love drama whilst my best friend really needed me during one of the darkest periods of her life.

It just truly sucks when some friends don't understand that being there for one another is a two-way street and if that aspect of the friendship starts to breakdown more often than not it usually marks the end of that friendship as well.
 
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Truth be told, I don't want to make anymore friends, because the moment I do I will just get back the same bad feeling as before and get treated the same way. Instead of just stressing about it the best thing to do for me is to not hang out with other people.

Throughout my life I used to hang with people, but they would always ignore me and just push me off to the side as if they think I'm a ghost, but thats because I'm introvert. I don't like being around people, because it drains my energy and puts more strain on my brain. So its better that I am alone, that it gives me time to recharge and feel good about myself. You may not get it, but for me its the best thing I have at the moment to make me feel better. I know I want to believe that there is "nice" people out there, but I seriously doubt it given how society is these days because its like people just want to judge others for how they are and they are not good enough to them then they will not become their friend. Thats the dark time I had to deal with when growing up.

I am not "keeping my mind open" any longer. I don't want to put up with this pain anymore and to prevent from getting worse I am just going to avoid others, not because I hate them or because I have a grudge against them, but because of what I've dealt with I am not going to force myself to make anymore friends for the long term. I've been hurt worse before and I am not going to put up with it any longer.
 
Have you ever felt like you’re the one putting in the most effort in friendships... like you are the one always reaching out? I’ll be honest. There are some friends I have where I feel like we just won’t speak if I don’t reach out them first.

This sounds like almost every friendship I've ever had. I can probably count on one hand the number of people that actually put in anywhere near as much effort as I do in friendships. Most people I know, we'll talk normally if I reach out to them first, but if I don't then I'll never hear from them.
 
A bit too many times, yeah. I mean you' don't really have to be overly social or talkative to do it, just like, texting regularly and hanging out once in a while is enough (like not teting every hour of today but, yeah just checking in and caring you know?).

Yes. More so in adult life. I feel like friendships kinda just happen out of convenience. You know, you happen to go to school together and see each other every day. Same way with work.
This too, especially when I went to uni and people in those classes. I mean sure we hung out like every day and one of them we even went to cinema and burgers after that but after that aside from like one dude I don't really talk to anymore I don't really have contact with them.
 
unfortunately I feel like this is most if not all my friendships, I'm usually the one to start conversations or invite people out and this rarely gets reciprocated, in conversations it also just feels like I'm doing the majority of talking and the other person or people are just uninterested:[
Maybe I'm just overthinking this??
 
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