How do you feel about family get-togethers/reunions?

Everyone in my family is passive agressive, except for my mom who is agressive aggressive, and its just bad vibes all around honestly.

The food is always bomb though I always end up with several tupperware containers full of savory Puerto Rican dishes so its worth it imo!
 
Family gatherings only seem to happen in my family when someone dies. The last big one we had was after my grandad died back in 2005 and before that it was my grandparents golden wedding anniversary sometime in the late 90's. I just remember there being a big meal at a local hotel followed by a family gathering at my uncle's house the following day as he used to have a huge back garden so the family could spread out and catch up with one another.
 
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Yeah and it's not like they care, they just do and they keep complaining why you don't call, what you haven't done in life and if you do anything without them they get jealous....come on? lol.
My mom is like this .-.
 
When I was a kid I was seeing my relatives every week-end alternating between my dad's family and my mom"s. It was really stressful, I have like 28 aunts and uncles, 30 cousins, plus great-aunts, uncles etc. Lot of people, always arguing and it was even worse when alcohol was involved. I'm not going to family gatherings anymore, I don't hate them but we have nothing in common, so it's always awkward.
 
I’m surprised there are so many negative responses here and sorry for all of you. I don’t have much better of an experience myself- my entire family is dysfunctional and to be honest, we haven’t had a gathering since I was a child. The one meetup I remember with my dad’s side, I was still a toddler and we stopped going to my mom’s because my dad made it difficult and because the distressed me. It probably has more to do with my dad, he’s honestly a bad person.

As for me though, since I was a kid they were awkward and honestly- scary for me. Everyone there was so LOUD. Oh my god, so much of my family, on both ends are so loud. Then there was all the grabbing me and “oh she’s just shy” when I was clearly uncomfortable and so on. I vaguely remember arguments at some but they were nothing extreme… except for my own parents. Oh my god. My parents still argue to this day. They’re the kind that never should have been together and anytime they’d be in the car together, driving back, etc. I would still be listening to them. Nobody in my indirect family has helped me out of this or asked me how home life is so I don’t really have familial bonds overall.

The rest of my family takes my mom‘s word on how I’m doing and she’s in denial of now bad things are for me so yeah, they never call me. They all seem to look down on me in a certain sense because I’m younger than them, but I don’t have relatives of the same age, so I just don’t have anyone I naturally get along with in my family. And other real differences beyond ageism but I digress. I think they also just want to block it out a bit because I’m not their immediate problem anyway. My family aren’t selfish jerks or something like it might sound, it just feels like they don’t care if I actually vocalise my problems and would like to think I just have it easy. Like… ooh, that sucks (but I don’t really want to be the one dealing with it). They also think I should get along with my mom when she’s really neglected me and caused a ton of my problems, not just my dad. Also, without making this a religious debate, they’re definitely more religious than me- not extremists or bad people, as far as I know they mostly keep it at some blessings and ornaments, but it is extremely awkward for me and yet another thing that makes it difficult to relate. I’m saying all of this but really I’ve had limited experience with the lot of them, I just feel like they see me as a disappointment.

I honestly like the idea of family gatherings somewhat to share generational views, tales, simply share food and gifts, set differences aside, etc.; however, they never seem to be truly selfless- there are always cliques even within a family. I think you would need a very close group of friends for something like this instead, but I’m always the one left out of these kind of things and even when I try to initiate it doesn’t really get interest. It’s sad. I think the kind of thing I’d like to see from it is kinda one-in-a-million honestly.
 
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I enjoy family gatherings and reunions!

And I think the reason is growing up, it has mainly just been my parents, sibling, and me. My extended family lives overseas. My parents worked a lot, so I have many childhood memories of going to child care centers, after-school programs, and test-prep tutoring -- I felt lonely to say the least. I've been with my extended family possibly only 5 times (usually for weeks at a time) in my life. It's actually quite interesting now that I think about it because we've probably seen each other once in almost each of my life stages so far. When we visit each other, there's a lot to share and catch up on. I have a few cousins who are girls around the same age as me, and I view them as the older sisters that I wish I had. We eat out at good restaurants and visit fun sites and attractions in the local city. There are gift exchanges. Sleepovers. It's tied with only happy memories, really.
 
I hate family gatherings with extended family and avoid going to them when possible. The first question that I’m usually asked is, “have you found a job yet?” 😑 Gee, how nice of them to ask how I’m doing without providing any support, contacts, or advice in return.

It would be nice if they stop being judgmental and let me find my way.
 
I enjoy getting together with either side of my husband's family and my mom's side of the family. I get socially exhausted and anxious easily, so I'm ready to go earlier than gatherings usually end.

I don't like my dad's side of the family much. They're very judgemental about everything and they all talk about everyone as soon as they finish seeing or talking to them. They're also obsessed with weight and losing it. I'm not thin, so eating around them especially stresses me out because I know they'll mention it after I'm gone, along with other aspects of my appearance. I also have to watch what I say because I know it will spread too. The majority of them live in the same area and see each other more often, and look down on my parents and I because of the area we live in despite being from here originally. They assume that because of the area we live in, we're dumber and don't understand etiquette and social expectations. Overall, I'm always on edge and even more anxious than usual when I'm around them. I dread any gathering with them for weeks.
 
small talk is not fun. i don't really like meeting up with my aunt and my cousins etc (mum's side) - its just weird + awkward 'cause we haven't seen each other in however long (usually a few years or so). and i'd rather be doing something else than see them. we don't have the same interests and again it's just bare awkward
'magicaldonkey, are you still gaming'
'yeah' LEAVE ME ALONE AUNT


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meeting up with my uncle (dad's side) though is très cool!! my family meet up with him annually on boxing day and get free food + exchange presents. i enjoy his company much more and he's defo more chill compared with my mum's side of the family 😌
 
It’s complicated. We usually are 5 people only for Christmas/ holiday events, and yet it’s always difficult. Our family consists of my husband, who doesn’t get along that great with my mum, my mum, who constantly fights with her partner, her partner who’s an absolute jerk to everyone, my father, who is mostly unproblematic and me, a people pleaser with social anxiety who doesn’t do well in stressful settings.

Leading up to the 24th we typically have my mum who wants to run away, my husband who doesn’t want to celebrate Christmas at all, mom’s boyfriend who’s aggressive and unhelpful just lounging on the couch all day and me, who loves Christmas and tries to decorate and desperately trying to get into the holiday spirit. The 24th and 25th usually are quite ok, although exhausting. I’m always glad when new year’s is done and dealt with and it’s January and I can hide in my room again 😅 I wish my family could be harmonious and happy clappy during holidays but I have yet to experience a single year without drama
 
It depends on what family members. If it's my immediate family, it's no place I'd rather be. But if it's aunts and uncles who I rarely see, it's just an awkward "oh, what do you do? Have any kids? Married yet?" type of convos that turn into a contest on who's more successful in life and it's just boring.
 
Growing up we had a few extended family members who we kept in regular contact with and I always enjoyed visits with them. At big reunions and stuff where EVERYONE was there I always had a bad time. There were never any other kids my age there, everyone else was either way older or younger than me so I never had anyone to hang out with besides my sister. And speaking of her, we would also have to do a tour of sorts around to all the "old people" who wanted to see ThE tWiNs and then tell us that we look nothing alike as if we didn't know that 😑

Now that I'm older these sort of events are more tolerable but still not really a favourite of mine. I like hearing what everyone else is up to but I really don't like talking about myself. Thankfully I now have more of a choice in attending or not attending and the pandemic has also put a lot of these gatherings to a halt which I don't mind.
Agreed I use to go to these gatherings yearly still do for Christmas for example. I went to one nobody was my own age there. Everyone was much older or younger oldest maybe 65 to 73 age range. Then youngest is new born babies up to 5 years old maybe 6 years old max. Im 21 though can't relate huge age gaps.
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It depends on what family members. If it's my immediate family, it's no place I'd rather be. But if it's aunts and uncles who I rarely see, it's just an awkward "oh, what do you do? Have any kids? Married yet?" type of convos that turn into a contest on who's more successful in life and it's just boring.
Agreed
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I enjoy family gatherings and reunions!

And I think the reason is growing up, it has mainly just been my parents, sibling, and me. My extended family lives overseas. My parents worked a lot, so I have many childhood memories of going to child care centers, after-school programs, and test-prep tutoring -- I felt lonely to say the least. I've been with my extended family possibly only 5 times (usually for weeks at a time) in my life. It's actually quite interesting now that I think about it because we've probably seen each other once in almost each of my life stages so far. When we visit each other, there's a lot to share and catch up on. I have a few cousins who are girls around the same age as me, and I view them as the older sisters that I wish I had. We eat out at good restaurants and visit fun sites and attractions in the local city. There are gift exchanges. Sleepovers. It's tied with only happy memories, really.
That's cool my family gatherings are the exact opposite it's boring and lame. Im dreading one right now. I know on 6/28/2025 I have a family gathering with a family friend and im not looking forward to it. I rather stay home on Saturdays and hang with my own friends but who to say. It's 2025 and so far it's not a great year for me. Im hanging with friends less often and things don't feel the same. Also I just signed up to bell tree forums today I know im 10 to 15 years late to the party but yeah. I even know July 4th 2025 would not feel the same ethier.
 
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I don't think I'd mind them so much if the only times my (basically) entire extended family met for a gathering were for funerals. Like not even kidding lol, I've never been to a "family gathering" that wasn't centred around some relative's funeral.

But I would kind of like to attend a normal one, just to see what they're like
 
I love my family so I really don’t mind being around them. I’d honestly rather stay home but I still go to see them since we don’t get together often. My family is pretty chill and even when there’s drama or chaos, I actually enjoy it.
 
i'm not close to my family in any way, so being able to finally not go as an adult is good. i used to be somewhat close to my cousins as a child, but we naturally drifted apart (separate schools and less contact with each other), so i don't really have a reason to go or try to make a conversation with any of them.
 
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