I’m surprised there are so many negative responses here and sorry for all of you. I don’t have much better of an experience myself- my entire family is dysfunctional and to be honest, we haven’t had a gathering since I was a child. The one meetup I remember with my dad’s side, I was still a toddler and we stopped going to my mom’s because my dad made it difficult and because the distressed me. It probably has more to do with my dad, he’s honestly a bad person.
As for me though, since I was a kid they were awkward and honestly- scary for me. Everyone there was so LOUD. Oh my god, so much of my family, on both ends are so loud. Then there was all the grabbing me and “oh she’s just shy” when I was clearly uncomfortable and so on. I vaguely remember arguments at some but they were nothing extreme… except for my own parents. Oh my god. My parents still argue to this day. They’re the kind that never should have been together and anytime they’d be in the car together, driving back, etc. I would still be listening to them. Nobody in my indirect family has helped me out of this or asked me how home life is so I don’t really have familial bonds overall.
The rest of my family takes my mom‘s word on how I’m doing and she’s in denial of now bad things are for me so yeah, they never call me. They all seem to look down on me in a certain sense because I’m younger than them, but I don’t have relatives of the same age, so I just don’t have anyone I naturally get along with in my family. And other real differences beyond ageism but I digress. I think they also just want to block it out a bit because I’m not their immediate problem anyway. My family aren’t selfish jerks or something like it might sound, it just feels like they don’t care if I actually vocalise my problems and would like to think I just have it easy. Like… ooh, that sucks (but I don’t really want to be the one dealing with it). They also think I should get along with my mom when she’s really neglected me and caused a ton of my problems, not just my dad. Also, without making this a religious debate, they’re definitely more religious than me- not extremists or bad people, as far as I know they mostly keep it at some blessings and ornaments, but it is extremely awkward for me and yet another thing that makes it difficult to relate. I’m saying all of this but really I’ve had limited experience with the lot of them, I just feel like they see me as a disappointment.
I honestly like the idea of family gatherings somewhat to share generational views, tales, simply share food and gifts, set differences aside, etc.; however, they never seem to be truly selfless- there are always cliques even within a family. I think you would need a very close group of friends for something like this instead, but I’m always the one left out of these kind of things and even when I try to initiate it doesn’t really get interest. It’s sad. I think the kind of thing I’d like to see from it is kinda one-in-a-million honestly.
Gee, how nice of them to ask how I’m doing without providing any support, contacts, or advice in return.
I wish my family could be harmonious and happy clappy during holidays but I have yet to experience a single year without drama
