How to you not get bored of something?

[Blood Eclipse]

There's something I'm trying to learn rn, and I've been at it for 4-5 months, myb, but I'm already bored of it and just can't find the motivation to do it, even when I force myself. When I force myself through it, I find myself easily irritated or just shutting down, losing focus and unable to refocus. It's not laziness, I think (????????), I really want to prove to myself that I can do this, but like everything else I start, I usually just get bored halfway through, even with something fun, like watching an anime or live action series. I really hate this.

 

[Crash]

tbh it's actually NOT forcing myself to do the thing that keeps me from getting bored or sick of it. i have a hard time sticking with certain things sometimes too, especially new things that i'm not instantly good at. what helps me most is setting very small and simple goals in relation to it; "by the end of this week, i'll practice this for 1 hour" or whatever. i also really try to remind myself that it's not the end of the world if i don't achieve that goal, and that developing a hobby is sometimes a multi-year thing and not just something that happens overnight or even over a few months.

 

[GolguiAr]

What are you trying to learn? If it is something artsy like a musical instrument, which requires a lot of time and practise, then maybe you not finding the motivation to put time to learn it is just a way for your brain to unconsciously tell you that you are not really enjoying it?

If you get generally bored with things, maybe that's because you are not really enjoying these things either. Try a bit of introspection: what do I really enjoy? What do I really want to put time into?
Or is there something that is not going fine in my life currently, and which prevents me from enjoying things I know I would normally enjoy?

Pausing for a wee while to just look into ourselves (some kind of meditation) is not something that we do anymore, in a world where we always go faster and faster, jump from one thing to another without really taking the time to appreciate these things and reflect on our experiences. But it is really essential to do that kind of thinking once in a while

 

[-Raven-]

So it really depends on what it is, but I can speak a bit from doing art. These days I do get bored of the dry stuff a lot more easily, but with art as my example, practicing boxes is pretty boring. But, you could use it to practice more stuff at the same time (like composition, thumbnails, or drawing characters/scenes around completely flat blocks), and it can be fun to push that. It gave me something to be proud of back then. Now you have to do dry stuff sometimes, but all around try to integrate things you like into them, and try to get into multiple parts of the hobby at once. Then you have tons to do, and you can see the purpose in doing it, or make something fun from it. That also ties into what Crash was saying, you have to be patient with it. Be patient building up your enjoyment of the hobby, exploring it and be patient with your own progress, accept sacrifices you make with your approach, accept that you will get frustrated with the hobby but be willing to try new things and keep an open mind to what the hobby can give you etc.

As for how to do that acceptance and patience it’s too personal/subjective of a thing for me to really answer rn or here I feel. Even more vague since you didn’t specify what you’re trying to get into. Think about what drew you into something in the first place, where your wants are unrealistic, adjusting your expectations (be it quitting/quitting parts of the hobby or just having a break or pushing your goals further back). I’ve said there are days where it feels like drawing feels like pulling out my teeth and considering it has been a trauma trigger for me I absolutely mean that but I can also assure you that if you seriously care about a hobby you can put in the work to cultivate love/enjoyment of it again, it takes readjusting your perspective and it takes time. You might even quit and come back later, after quitting and coming back or reassessing the hobby it might strengthen your love for it since you pulled through, or maybe it is just time for a new hobby.

before I forget, for a baby step, you can also think about how you feel on a given day before spending time on the hobby and after spending time on it. At least think about a score of how you felt, like if it cheered you up one day, maybe you were thinking you felt like a 4/10 and it boosted you to an 8/10. Think about wether you had fun just doing it on a random day, why, and again what you could do, what you did do, etc. You might realise it’s not that bad if nothing else but it makes it more reasonable to track how you feel about ot

 

[Kitsuragi]

I have ADHD and experience depressive episodes so this is constantly my struggle, hyper focus on learning something then get bored (or frustrated) and quit. The one thing that works for me is tangibility, in a sense that I can physically "see" my progress or "hold" it. Like, learning a language can get frustrating/boring real quick, but talking to a native speaker and having a conversation rejuvenates my passion. Making something and getting bored half way, but seeing all the progress so far and envisioning the end product, keeps be going. Not always though, hah, sometimes I give up on games because of boredom/not feeling it. I tend to re-visit later on with clear eyes and it helps a lot, I finally finished Outer Wilds after putting it off for like a year because I just took a long time between playing it to curb any boredom I had playing it. And I really ended up enjoying the game and becoming excited to play it.

TLDR, tangible/visible progress or just re-visiting if it becomes too much.

If you find this is something you experience a lot, try to re-evaluate what kind of things you enjoy and maybe coming to a consensus on why you feel this way? Sometimes it's hard but I found out I feel this "boredom" or lack of passion because of my bad focus and also my depression. Not trying to armchair therapist or make any conclusions, this is just a personal tidbit. And it's still something I struggle with and have a hard time coming to terms with! I hope any of this helps, I might just be rambling at this point.

 

[Millysaurusrexjr]

I can kinda relate to that; to me it sounds like maybe you might be setting really high standards for yourself -- basically, perfectionism. I myself am a perfectionist and it is annoying.

I procrastinate on art and sewing a lot because I know that if I can't do it perfectly, then I will really beat myself up about it. It's illogical because I will also beat myself up for not even trying, or for not finishing a project. I think the only thing you can do is to try to remember that learning a new skill or working on a project/hobby is going to take some time, and that you don't have to be perfect. It's good to take breaks but sometimes it's beneficial to force yourself to work on something and see it all the way through.

A lot of the time I will really not want to work on something but if i force myself occasionally, I find that at some point I start to get back in to the project again. Maybe you just have to get past that part, and the thing that you're trying to learn will be interesting to you again.

Also, put your electronics/any other distractions away, and put on music if that helps you focus better!

 

[Disneyfangirl23]

If I really like something I never get bored of it

 

[Midoriya]

Easy, whenever I feel myself starting to get bored of something, I stop doing it so I don't get burned out and move on to something else. When I'm mentally refreshed to do that thing again, I pick it right back up.

 

[Blood Eclipse]

What are you trying to learn? If it is something artsy like a musical instrument, which requires a lot of time and practise, then maybe you not finding the motivation to put time to learn it is just a way for your brain to unconsciously tell you that you are not really enjoying it?

If you get generally bored with things, maybe that's because you are not really enjoying these things either. Try a bit of introspection: what do I really enjoy? What do I really want to put time into?
Or is there something that is not going fine in my life currently, and which prevents me from enjoying things I know I would normally enjoy?

Pausing for a wee while to just look into ourselves (some kind of meditation) is not something that we do anymore, in a world where we always go faster and faster, jump from one thing to another without really taking the time to appreciate these things and reflect on our experiences. But it is really essential to do that kind of thinking once in a while

It's studying mostly (any form). (I want a better future for myself & financial independence. also to move as far away from my family as possible.) Just starting is hard enough, and I get easily distracted by everything. It's hard to describe the feeling. I could stare at a blank wall for hours over getting something important done, and in the long run I'm only hurting myself, and knowing this makes it more frustrating.

Sometimes, I can force myself to start and stay on track once I have, other times, I force myself and get irritated, and my brain just shuts down, like a tantrum. I've tried giving myself a break, as I might be pushing myself too hard doing too much at once, but even that didn't help. Part of me wants to just give up, but another part of me is yelling at me telling me that *I can do this* (in between the self shaming), (though that might be delusional), so I'm kinda just going, like a zombie stumbling in a dark forest.

I think this might be something a therapist might have to help me with, but the last one I went to said she didn't think I had adhd (without asking any questions, just 1 glance), even though I have a whole lot of the symptoms. It's not like having adhd is an accomplishment or something. It feels awful and embarrassing if anything.

Post automatically merged: Jan 29, 2023

Also, put your electronics/any other distractions away, and put on music if that helps you focus better!

Definitely have to do this. I keep getting distracted by electronics. (then again I can still get distracted by daydreaming or staring off into space or my own thought spirals.)

(Yes, I do need background noise to focus or hype music to start. doodling stuff also helps, for whatever reason.)

 

[GolguiAr]

It's studying mostly (any form). (I want a better future for myself & financial independence. also to move as far away from my family as possible.) Just starting is hard enough, and I get easily distracted by everything. It's hard to describe the feeling. I could stare at a blank wall for hours over getting something important done, and in the long run I'm only hurting myself, and knowing this makes it more frustrating.

Sometimes, I can force myself to start and stay on track once I have, other times, I force myself and get irritated, and my brain just shuts down, like a tantrum. I've tried giving myself a break, as I might be pushing myself too hard doing too much at once, but even that didn't help. Part of me wants to just give up, but another part of me is yelling at me telling me that *I can do this* (in between the self shaming), (though that might be delusional), so I'm kinda just going, like a zombie stumbling in a dark forest.

I think this might be something a therapist might have to help me with, but the last one I went to said she didn't think I had adhd (without asking any questions, just 1 glance), even though I have a whole lot of the symptoms. It's not like having adhd is an accomplishment or something. It feels awful and embarrassing if anything.

First thing could be to try to see another therapist, just to get a second opinion.
Also, maybe what you are struggling with is simply procrastination? I used to struggle a lot with this too until I did my PhD and had to run a whole project by myself. I needed to learn to get passed procrastination. And I found that starting with smaller, easier tasks before getting to more intense ones works wonders (someone else in the thread mentioned it too I think); it's like a Diesel engine, you need to start it slow and then once it's started you just keep going, and harder
And this will help with all aspects of your life. I am actually about to move to a new place, so I have a lot of cleaning to do and I already know that procrastination is going to hit me again; but first, having a deadline (I must leave my current place mid-February) will help, but also I have already planned to start with things that are easier to clean (like a sink) so I get started and then I know that I will just get carried away and do the rest of the flat without having to push myself that much
I wish you courage!

 

[tntduo]

I guess I hyperfix something and It clings onto me, I don't complain, I will lose a interest on it for a bit until I see something about it and it has me in a chokehold.